Overwhelming Darkness
by Archway22
Summary: After a serious incident occurs involving Lissa's darkness, Rose must make a decision; start her life afresh and leave her loved ones behind, or risk harming her best friend, and deal with the heartbreak Dimitri has inflicted on her. Will she follow her heart or mind?
1. chapter 1

Chapter one: The darkness awaits.

I _swallowed hard and closed my eyes. At that moment something inside me changed. I made up my mind, I knew what I had to do. I took a few deep breaths as I let the gravity of the situation sink in. I opened my eyes, hardened and determined. I ran off, feet pounding against the concrete ground. I fought the urge to look back, today was a new start, fresh beginning. And to start afresh, I had to leave everyone I loved, the dear and precious memories, my old life behind._

 ***3 hours earlier that day*.**

I stared at the bloody mess in front of me. My body was numb, my hands shaking, my mind blank unable to process what had just happened. I looked up, feeling the gaze of everyone on me. I looked around at the familiar faces, each one covered in fear and apprehension.

"Rose…..how could you…." Lissa, my best friend who had known me since childhood, stared at me like she didn't recognise me.

Jesse's body lay on the ground, contorted and covered in bright red blood. I reached out to touch him, he was breathing, but struggled to move. I took a step forward and was suddenly yanked back into the strong arms I knew so well. I breathed in, smelling the familiar aftershave that sent shivers down my spine. His touch, usually so soft and loving, was hard and cold. I looked up to see his eyes.

" Dimitri...I….I…" I stumbled. I wanted to tell him what happened, about the darkness, I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything would be okay. I thought he would understand.

But seeing the cold and harsh look on his face knocked me off guard. Before I had a chance to tell him, Headmistress Kirova appeared in front of me.

"Miss Hathaway, since you enrolled hear at St Vladimir's academy I knew there was something about you, something sinister and evil." I shuddered, the words "sinister and evil" stuck in my mind. "Out of all your stunts you've puller here, this is by far the most despicable and unforgivable of them all. Guardian Belikov is the only reason you've not been expelled, but unfortunately, his forgiving and convincing nature will be of no use here".

Dimitri finally spoke "Believe me Headmistress, any faith I had in Rose has now disappeared. I feel ashamed that it was I who allowed her to stay, she would be much better off away from here, expelled. You have my word that I will not defend Rose, her actions today have shown me who she truly is".

I felt tears sting my eyes, he, the man I had fallen in love with, wanted me gone. He spoke with such malice and detachment in his voice, that I could tell he truly meant every word.

I was taken aback by his words and voice, so much so that the next half an hour passed on a blur. The next thing I knew I was being escorted by Dimitri into a room.

Inside Kirova's office just, Dimitri, Lissa and herself remained. Kirova broke the tense silence by speaking first.

"Jesse has been taken to hospital, he is currently in intensive care, you are lucky, for his sake and your own, that he is not dead." I studied her for a moment, she had always had sharp, bird like features, but right now her face seemed to take on a whole new level of harshness. She continued in that shrill voice of hers, each word cutting into me like a knife being driven into my stomach. "After some discussion with Lissa, I have agreed to hear your side of it, but believe me, it is going to take a lot to comprehend such horrific actions and their reasons behind it".

I gulped and bit my lip, lowering my gaze as I nervously pondered what to say in my mind. 'If you tell them the truth, you could hurt Lissa…..but if you lie or keep quiet, you could end up in serious trouble'. Kirova coughed, unaware of the internal debate I has having in my mind.

I decided to tell part of the truth, as much as I could tell them without causing harm to Lissa.

I looked up, swallowed hard and started speaking, trying to make my voice sound strong and confident, despite how scared and small I felt inside.

"I was on my way to my dorm room, and Jesse knocked into me as he passed. I decided to try and ignore him, but he followed me. I went into my room and tried to close the door but he wedged his foot in and forced his way in side."

I continued to explain what happened.

 ** _Flashback_** *

 _"Jesse, get out before I kick your ass and make you wish you had never been born"._

He _sniggered, a smug smirk from stretching upon his face. I used to find that smile charming at one point, his cockiness reminded me of my own._

 _"I know you want me Rose, the way you play hard to get. You only move away from me because you know the sexual tension between us would overpower you if we stayed in the same room together"._

I _scoffed, "I would rather be deprived of chocolate donuts for the rest of my life than be alone with you". Okay, maybe that was a bit far, my mouth was drooling at the mere thought of the chocolatey goodness smothered on top of the sweet dough…._ _I mentally slapped myself, if I didn't stop Jesse would think I was going all gooey eyed at him and not my deep love for donuts._

 _"It's time you got your head out of your ass and realise you'll never get **this**." I made a theatrical gesture over my body._

 _"Hmmm Hathaway, that appears to be the second time you've brought up my ass, one might suggest it's on your mind, no?" He took a step closer to me. "Don't try to deny the obsession with my body, I've seen your smouldering eyes feasting on it"._

I _snorted with derision and made a show of slowly moving my eyes up and down his body "You're right Jesse, my passion for you is just so, just so…._ "

I _wretched violently and grabbed the waste basket._ _"Rose…" I held my finger up and interrupted him, over dramatically 'vomiting' into the basket again._

 _"God, I'm so sorry Jesse, just a wave of nausea came over me all of a sudden"._

Not _taking the hint, he lunged at me and grabbed my ass with both hands and lent in towards me. "Well, let me take your mind off it…" I shrieked as he kissed me, repulsed with the touch of his lips on mine._

All _of a sudden, before I had a chance to get him off me, similar to the feeling of belly flopping into a pool from a great height, a wave of depression hit me and I was snapped into Lissa's mind._

 _"Jesus Christ Lissa! Anybody would think it's Rose in the fucking room!" He said, narrowly avoiding a book hurtling toward him at a rapid speed._

 _God, I'm not that bad am I?_

Lissa _screamed at him, a horrible, heinous sound that pierced through Christian like a hot iron. "GET OUT!!! I don't want you here!"_

Christian _moved towards her, earning him a hit in the face by the lamp Lissa threw. "Lissa! Listen to me for God's sakes! I love you, stop it, let me help you before you hurt yourself, please. This isn't you"_

 _he said that last sentence with such sadness and sincerity I thought it might make Lissa waver._

 _Instead she lashed out at him, kicking and clawing as she screamed._

 _"Get out you sick bastard! Before you turn yourself into a strigoi and like the rest of your cold blooded, murderous family!"_

 _That last_ _cheap shot clearly got to Christian as he visibly shook with rage._

 _His eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth as if to say something. He changed his mind and stormed out of the room._

 _Lissa_ _collapsed on the bathroom floor, grabbing a razor blade and started to tear into her soft, pale, delicate skin on her wrist. With the first drop of blood I quickly closed my eyes and took away the darkness from her, filling with anger and disgust with each breath. When I took it away she fell asleep, exhausted._

 _I snapped back sharply into my own head. Jesse's lips were still on mine. But this time, I was far less patient than I had been before._

 _I bit his lip and shoved him to the ground._

His _eyes widened, "you sick son of a bit…" I pounced on him, a red tinted darkness clouded my vision._

 _Every nerve, muscle and bone in my body pulsed with rage and loathing. I punched him over and over again, ignoring his screams and moans. It must've made such a noise that it attracted the attention of passerbys as the next thing I knew I was yanked off him, but I continued to squirm and lash against my restraints._

I _hit my head on the wardrobe and passed out. The next thing I remember I awoke to find everyone surrounding me, Jesse's body in a heap on the floor._

 ** _End of flashback_** *

I told Kirova and the others this, missing out the part when I absorbed Lissa's darkness. Lissa couldn't even remember how she recovered, and didn't know I took it from her. If I told her or anyone else, not only could it get her into trouble, but she would blame herself for today's events. With her darkness already causing such a violent urge to harm herself, I figured that the guilt added on top of that could push her over the edge. I shuddered at the thought of Lissa's limp, lifeless body lying in a pool of blood.

"You mean to say you nearly killed a boy because he...he flirted with you?" Kirova laughed, but there was no humour in it.

I launched out of my chair with such speed she jumped back and nearly fell off her chair. "How dare you! He sexually assaulted me, molested me, groped me! And you call that flirting?! I knew you were a stupid old bitch, but come on! This is a whole new level of stupidity!"

This time, a deep Russian voice shouted, "Enough Rose! Show some respect to your superiors! You are still a little child, and of such, you will do as you are told by your elders!".

I was taken aback by his tone, but as usual, covered my emotion with attitude as I crossed my arms and turned towards him. "Last time I checked, Comrade, you didn't seem to mind my age, on the contrary, you seemed to love it. And as for my behaviour, you've never seemed to mind my wildness before. Or is that it? Gone off kinky sex? Too bad Comrade, you're missing out on the ride of your life, quite literally".

That did it. Oops. Not really helping the case in trying to prove I'm not an absolute unstable nutjob.

Fury flashed in his eyes, but remembering where he was, he quickly returned to his guardian stance, and put his guardian mask back on. The rest of the meeting I decided to calm down and keep quiet, if I wanted any chance of escaping this as lightly as possible, reacting would just make it worse. In the end Kirova took away all my privileges. This entailed the removal of all clothes except my uniform and a pair of combat pants and top. I was to be accompanied at all times by a guardian, and I was unable to spend anytime socialising with friends, as not only was I banned from contact, but my curfew started straight after practice. I was to spend my time, for the foreseeable future, alone and bored senseless. As I was dismissed, with a guardian at my heel of course, I tried to get a word in with Lissa.

"God, can you believe how much of a bitch she's been? Yeah he's badly injured, but he sexually assaulted me! He had what was coming to him!" I didn't entirely agree with that, but I felt I had to say something to justify my actions.

She responded by sighing at me, avoiding looking in my eyes. "You don't get it Rose do you? This time you went too far, I've stood by you throughout everything you've done. But this was too much, too violent and cold. I don't like this side of you, and I'm relieved you're banned from seeing me again. You're only here because I said I'd leave if you left too, but I did that out of pity, not friendship. You're a sad, pathetic person Rose. And it's about time you took responsibility for what you've done." With that she tossed her silky smooth blonde hair over her shoulders, and gracefully walked away.

I stared after her shocked. My initial reaction was to shout at her, because I did this all for her.

But l knew deep down I couldn't face anything happening to her. She couldn't help the darkness that consumes her. She has been there for me my entire life, hell, she brought me back to life. The least I could do was to repay her now.

With that I was escorted away to my dorm, left alone with the guardian as he stared at me and my own self pitying thoughts.

I lay down on my bed. I could feel his eyes on me, making me extremely uncomfortable. I decided not to bother getting changed, the thought of him looking at me with those expressionless eyes freaked me out massively. I couldn't stay here like this. I was losing the will to live an hour in, God knows what I'd be like in days, weeks, months…. Years later?! With that thought I knew I had to make a move. My best shot was Dimitri.

God Dimitri, the mere thought of him made my hairs stand up on end. I lay there, stupidly grinning to myself, forgetting about the guardian in the room.

I loved him, I was so deeply in love with him that it hurt. And I knew he loved me. After Mason, Eddie and I were kidnapped, he had professed his love for me. Yes, our love was forbidden, but I knew deep down we both knew it was impossible to try and push aside. Our love was strong and fierce, we had gone through so much together. I thought about his hair, silky and dark, I loved it best when he let it loose to his shoulders. I thought about his strong jaw and chiseled cheekbones, his dark bottomless chocolate eyes, that seemed to stare into my own as if he could see my soul. I thought about his soft and full lips on mine. The way it felt when we kissed, his tongue dancing with my own. The sparks I felt when his body touched mine were indescribable, almost orgasmic. With that thought I let out a soft moan, catching the attention of the guard. I felt my cheeks flush bright red.

But then I had the most ingenious idea. Yes, it was pretty seedy and low, but I was desperate. I had very little choices or devices at hand. The only ones at my disposal were, well, my body and looks. I decided now was a good time to get undressed.

I looked at him, he wasn't that bad looking I guess? God who was I kidding? He had a weird bowl haircut and crazy long sideburns that nearly reached his nose. His eyebrows were bushy and wild, much like his, _vomit_ , nose hair. His cheeks were huge and pimply. And his mouth, God was he drooling? I thought guardians were supposed to be stoic? Guess Kirova assigned this one to me for a reason.

I shuddered at was I about to do. I stood up and sauntered in front of him, not easy to do with just a few feet between us. Reaching down, I grabbed the hem of my top and raised it above my head. I saw his eyes widen as he coughed and sputtered. I guess this is the first time he's seen a gal topless, never mind one with tanned, generously sized boobs.

I grabbed his hand, and when I smugly realised he wasn't going to resist I started guiding it towards my left breast. With his attention distracted, I grabbed the lamp next to him with my right hand and smacked him over the head, rendering him unconscious.

Two words appeared in my mind " _sinister and evil_ "...I shook off the feeling of sleaze. This was the only way. The only chance to talk to Dimitri. Sure there would be consequences when the boss found the guardian in his current state, but I tried not to think about that.

 _Talk to Dimitri, he'll make everything right_ , I convinced myself.


	2. Chapter 2: Alone

**_Quick author's note._**

 ** _Thank you so much for following and reviewing this story! I nearly died with happiness when I saw them this morning (incredibly sad I know).This is my first story, so I apologise for the faults in it, I'm quite new to fanfiction and am getting used to the layout etc._**

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 ** _I also wanted to apologize for the layout of the previous chapter. I had it all spaced out in paragraphs, then as I uploaded it, it all merged together._**

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 ** _I'm so sorry, because I'm aware it looks sloppy and is difficult to read!I've tried editing it and everytime I go to update the improved version, it merged the whole thing, not just the flashback paragraph.I am incredibly sorry, especially if this next one turns out the same._**

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 ** _Any tips would be very welcome, and loving the reviews, definitely makes me want to continue writing._**

 ** _Thankyou,_**

 ** _E XXX_**

 **Chapter 2: Alone** I stood in the middle of my room trying to think what the next course of action should be. I knew that if I exited out of my dorm via the door, I would no doubt be spotted. Therefore, I looked around my room cursing myself.

A voice at the back of my mind, suspiciously thick with a Russian accent, gloated at me, 'Typical Rose, lashes out before thinking, faced with the consequences afterwards. When will you learn that the key to…..' I shook my head to clear his voice; despite that voice being an incredible turn on, now was not the time for one of his crappy zen lessons.

As I scanned the room panicking I caught sight of something...the window!

I opened it and surveyed the view. Shit! I quickly ducked and waited for a few minutes, two guardians passed, they must've been doing their rounds of the campus. That meant I had some time before the next groups of guardians passed. I glanced down and sighed, the bloody drainpipe. Come on Hathaway, I mentally scolded myself, you used to always love a challenge. With that I clumsily clambered out of the window, hooked both my legs around the pipe, and began to shimmy my way down.

Holy shit and fuck! I forgot to put my top on and the cold wind was freezing my ass up here. I couldn't help the snerario that unfolded in my head...the great, adventurous Hathaway, with two kills before graduation, frozen to death, half naked, on a goddamn drainpipe. I suppose there was one encouraging thought, I would die looking hot and badass.

I wonder what Dimitri would do, would he cry for me? I imagined those dark eyes filled with tears, and stupidly felt my own welling up. Think happy thoughts Rose, happy thoughts. So instead I imagined him naked, muscles rippling, hard and ready for me, leaning in to kiss my li…

"AAARGGHHH" I screamed as I fell from the drainpipe, having lost my concentration and grip, luckily landing in the bushes below with an "oomph".

God what was wrong with me? I was like a lovesick teenager….okay so maybe I was, but more so than usual. I thought back to his cold face, and those harsh words, that was why I was acting so desperate over him, because I was. I was desperate for him to forgive and understand me, to kiss me and reassure me that he'd sort it out.

I didn't like relying on other people, but let's face it, the Hathaway attitude and sass would not help me in this game.

As soon as I hit the ground I continued running. I stopped everyone as a guardian passed, ducking in the bushes for cover, holding my breath until the coast was clear. This was surprisingly easy, I thought to myself with a smug expression. I made my way over to the building where the guardians took residence. Dimitri's room was on the first floor luckily, so I figured I'd climb through the window.

I crawled my way through the undergrowth, cursing myself again for forgetting a top, as the branches and thorns stabbed and pricked at my sides. I managed to avoid all detection this way, and avoided the security cameras too. I stopped when I thought I found his room. He would no doubt be in there, he was not one to socialise much. I nearly turned away after studying my view through the window for over 5 minutes without seeing anything, wondering if I got the wrong room, when all of a sudden I saw something that I wish I had never seen.

Bile rose from my stomach, the nausea was not the same sensation I get with the presence of strigoi, no. It was much worse.

I saw Tasha follow him into the bedroom, I didn't even know what the robbing bitch was doing here. He asked her to come over, a sadistic voice snarled in my head, ridiculing me.

No, he loved me. I knew it. He...he had to.

He collapsed on the bed, head in his hands, he looked upset over something, distressed. She sat next to him, putting a comforting slim arm around his shoulders.

I studied her and felt a pang of jealously run through me. She was beautiful, striking even. With her raven black hair cascading over her back, her piercing ice blue Ozera eyes, and tall elegant frame, she was the picture of stunning.

I knew I was pretty, with my dark brown eyes, and wavy, thick long hair, my tanned smooth skin, and curvaceous body, I was exotic. But somehow, staring at the two of them together like that made me feel like I was the ugliest person alive. They made such a stunning and mesmerising couple.

He then did something I never expected….he kissed her. It was a slow kiss at first, but slowly built into something more animalistic. I felt more jealousy course through my veins, it should be me kissing him. Me feeling those sparks and searing heat as our lips caressed each others, I should be tasting him, feeling his tongue stroking and teasing my own.

I thought about all of our moments together, the training sessions, filled with sexual tension and lust, the moment I nearly gave my virginity to him, under Victor's spell, the way he held me after Mason's death.

I thought about our last moment alone.

xXx_

" _Hey Comrade"_

 _He turned around at me, a breathtakingly beautiful smile graced his lips._

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 _Although we had agreed to keep our relationship professional until graduation, we were both struggling to keep our anticipation and love for each other at bay._

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 _"So, what torture have you decided to put me through today? 16 laps around the field? Intense weight training session? Because I have another way we can build my stamina and endurance…" I winked at him, and much to my surprise, instead of chastising me, he chuckled. A small laugh escaped his lips, and I swear I nearly melted on the spot right then. It sounded so light, so soft, so magical to my ears._

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 _"My dear Roza, perhaps I should use this session to reach you the art of subtlety? You certainly seem to lack severely in that area".Despite the slight dig at me, I barely heard what he said past the word "Roza". He only called me that when he was feeling particularly affection towards me. That meant he was in a good mood today, and although he was sexy as hell when he went all silent and demanding, these moments between us happened so far and few between that I couldn't hide my happiness._

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 _I studied him for a moment, he was wearing his combat pants and a very tight fitting thermal black top, which showcased his huge and perfectly shaped muscles. He caught me checking him out, and said something to me that made me gasp in surprise: "See something you like?"._

 _It was something I had said to him before, yet why did it sound so much more sexy when he said it in that deep, gravelly voice of his?_

 _He outright laughed at me, his eyes sparkling with humour and delight, "What is this?! Have I made THE Rose Hathaway speechless?" He continued smiling at me, that sexy mischievous glint in his eye that I see so seldom. I wanted to answer back with a smart comeback, but his laughter and pure sexiness inundated me. He jabbed my arm lightly and told me to follow him to start the session…_

xXx_

I hated him at that moment, and felt the tears and vomit begin to rise. The heartbreak I felt for him took over me as I collapsed to the ground. I felt like my heart had been ripped out. As I started to wretch I knew I couldn't watch anymore. I started shaking, tears threatening to spill over.

And then it stopped.

I would not let that man ruin me. If he didn't love me, which clearly he didn't by snogging Tasha's face off, I would show him that he has not got to me.

I am Rose Hathaway for god's sake. Two strigoi kills already, strong, sexy and determined. I would make it on my own. Hell, I fought for myself without anyone for so long.

I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. At that moment something inside me changed. I made up my mind, I knew what I had to do. I took a few deep breaths as I let the gravity of the situation sink in. I opened my eyes, hardened and determined. I ran off, feet pounding against the concrete ground. I fought the urge to look back, today was a new start, fresh beginning. And to start afresh, I had to leave everyone I loved, the dear and precious memories, my old life behind.


	3. Chapter 3: One last farewell

**Author's note**.

 _Thank you to everyone who's following and reviewing, as I mentioned earlier, it keeps me going and helps me find the motivation to write!_

 _I would love more reviews, including your opinions._

 _Should I stick to just Rose's POV or delve into other characters? And is there anything you'd like to see more of, or something I can improve on? I'm open to constructive criticism._

 _Thanks,_

 _E xxx_

xXx_

I ran as fast as I could, endeavouring to find a way to escape, when a sudden thought hit me…. _Lissa_.

I stopped dead in my tracks, still hidden. I looked to the dorm building and slipped into her head.

 _She was alone, despite the fact I drew the darkness from her, she was lying on her bed crying, her pillow that she hugged stained with tears. Christian hadn't been back to talk to her, and she didn't understand what she did wrong…_

 _Christian!_ I snapped out of her head realising I had to do something urgently. My phone had been taken off me as part of my punishment, so I had to find an alternative way to get to him.

Just as I was about to turn around to the dorm room, which was incredibly risky, I saw a figure skulking in the shadows. I automatically positioned myself into an offensive stance and launched myself at the figure, pinning them to the ground.

"Fuck me sideways….what the hell?! I swear to God whoever this is I will ……..Rose?!"

I looked into the Ice blue eyes beneath me, I'd pinned Christian down. Fearing he would try to move and run away from me if he'd heard what I'd done earlier, I decided to keep him pinned, he needed to listen to me.

Seeing he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, he put his incredibly irksome smug smile on, and said in his usual snarky voice:

"I always knew you found me so goddamn sexy Rose, but I prefer my women a little less….psychotic, although I bet the sex would be good. I know my charm and good looks are hard to resist, but preying on me when I'm alone in the shadows….that's a bit desperate for even you."

I resisted the urge to headbutt him and stared into his eyes, hoping me knew the sincerity and urgency in my words.

"For once in your life, shut up Christian. It's about Lissa".

His eyes widened in fear and panic, "What about her?! Has something happened to her?! Is she hurt?! Where is sh….OUCH you little bitch!"

I slapped him and told him to get a grip of himself. I didn't have time for his ramblings, and truthfully, though he didn't deserve it, some level of me felt glad and somewhat satisfied to slap him for having the same blue eyes as Tasha.

"I need you to promise me something. Her life, her sanity depends on it".

He stared at me confused, another snarky retort forming on his lips. But before he had a chance to speak, I carried on.

"Look after her Christian. She needs you, I can't tell you why, but I won't be here for a while. Don't tell her about your argument earlier today, about what happened. Trust me on this. I can't tell you much more, just that her depression may consume her if she finds out what she did before she passed out. I have no doubt you'll hear about what I did to Jesse by some gossip tomorrow, and it should make more sense then. Let's just say I helped Lissa get rid of her darkne...I mean her depression. It's important you don't tell anyone I've gone. I promise you it's in her best interests. I love her Christian, and I know that if you love her too, you'll trust me on this".

I wondered for a second, judging by the blank expression on his face, whether what I just said made any sense. I tended to ramble when under pressure.

I was just about to launch into another explanation when he simply nodded.

We stared at each other for a little bit, before he remembered our position.

"You don't seem to get the hint do you Rose? Just because you fling yourself at everything with a penis, doesn't mean I welcome you with open arms...or legs…"

I pretended to scowl, trying to hide my amused expression. As much as I hated to admit it, I was going to miss Christian. I consider him a friend, no, a brother. I would miss everyone here. With lacking a family of my own, or one that bothered to visit, this was the closest I had. Lissa, Christian, Eddie and Dimitri….

I remembered what that bastard did to me, and I felt my eyes harden and steel.

Christian must've noticed this sudden change because he embraced me, whispering in my ear, "Look after yourself psycho, and return soon. Lissa needs you as much as you need her".

With that he left me and I felt a shiver tingle down my spine with the sudden realisation…

I was well and truly alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note**

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As always, I wanted to say thank you for the reviews. Some interesting points made that I hope are explained in this chapter.

I hadn't planned on writing DPOV, but I think it is necessary to explain why he reacted that way.

And I think the darkness, and the fact that Rose can take it from Lissa is discovered later on, or atleast I thought so but I could be wrong! If so I apologise, for but this story, they don't know yet.

Please keep the reviews coming!

Thanks.

E XXX

 **Chapter 4: Escape**

 **DPOV**

I had finished my work for the day, after completing my rounds of the campus, when I decided to head back to my apartment.

I walked in and immediately grabbed my western, smiling at the thought of what Rose might say if she was here. There it is Dimitri, thinking of her again. It was impossible to deny the feelings I had for her.

I had fought hard to resist them, to shove them to the back of my mind, but with each breathtaking smile she gave me, each flick of that thick, luscious black hair, each burning look she gave me, I found myself falling more and more hopelessly in love with her.

I started thinking about that night under Victor's spell. How good and right it felt to hold her beautiful, curvaceous body against me. God, how I wanted to take her. She really is so beautiful, it hurts. At that point, I had thought that there was no chance I could allow myself to admit my feelings for her, to hope and dream of a future together, which made my heart hurt and twist in pain in a way that I had never experienced before.

Usually, I would chastise myself for thinking about her, but tonight, the love and desire I felt for her was too overwhelming.

I imagined kissing her, oh how my body was desperate for that touch.

I thought about running my hands through that long, thick, wavy dark hair of hers. My hands then made their way to her body, the image of her naked, forever imprinted on my mind. She was the picture of perfection. With her tanned, smooth olive skin, dark smouldering eyes, luscious red lips, and dark mane, she truly was the most exotic and awe-inspiring woman I had ever set eyes on.

I couldn't help the wave of smug satisfaction that came over me, knowing that such a beautiful woman wanted and loved me.

At that moment, disturbing me from my thoughts (much to my dismay) I heard something being posted through my apartment door.

I opened the door to try and get a look at the person who delivered it, but they had already gone. It was an odd time to receive mail.

Shrugging I bent down and retrieved the letter off the mat.

I went into the kitchen and got myself a bottle of water before returning to the couch.

I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. It was typed and unsigned about from the letter 'X', so I still had no idea who it was from. I unscrewed the bottle and took a swig.

I had just taken a mouthful, only for me to spit it out again in shock. I couldn't believe what I was reading.

 **LPOV**

I went back to my room after an awful date with Christian. The entire time I just wanted to go to my room and be alone, but he hadn't listened and dragged me out.

By 'out' I meant a picnic in the campus grounds. Seeing as it was already passed curfew, out options were rather limited.

Despite my protests, he wanted to take me out to cheer me up, noticing how bad of a mood I was in.

I didn't know what provoked the bad mood, I just got like this sometimes. It's like, a sort of wave of depression comes over me, and no matter how hard I try to swim away from it, try to fight it, it always ends up consuming me, taking me under into the darkness.

I knew it would be pointless even trying tonight. It usually built up and up and up, until just as I think I can't take anymore, it disappears suddenly. I hadn't told anybody about these moods, I didn't want to worry them.

We were sat outside under a tree, it was our favourite spot, one that became a regular for us. I usually loved coming here, I found nothing more peaceful and perfect thanks lying in Christian's arms, staring at the blanket of stars above. But tonight, tonight I was pissed.

It was clear Christian had gone to a lot of trouble, a little too much trouble. It made me suspicious. It was like he was trying to make up for something. He had laid candles everywhere, and placed a blanket down on the ground, covered in plump pillows. He had vases of flowers placed around us, and a basket of food and goodies to the side.

I felt the anger boil inside of me. A small voice at the back of my mind whispered softly, " _Christian would never hurt you, he loves you, he knows you are suffering and wants to help, stop being such a jealous moody bitch"._

I let out a growl, in an attempt to show the voice that I was in charge. Christian looked up at me in surprise, having heard the noise. A smug, dirty smirk grew on his face, one that I immediately wanted to slap off.

"Ah, so you're feeling like that tonight? You wanna be in charge? I love hearing you growl, it's incredibly sexy. I'm all down for animalistic sex if you are." He winked at me, and his hands started to roam my body. I tried to shove him off, repulsed by his touch, but it seemed to drive him on.

"You really do want it rough don't you?"

I screamed at him, and started clawing at his face. He leapt back as I continued shouting at him, barely recognising my own voice.

"Get away from me you sick bastard! You touch me again and I swear to God I will make you wish you had never been born."

"I...I'm sorry Lissa, please baby, I thought, I thought it was foreplay, I didn't mean to go so far! You know I would never do that to you!"

"Please Christian, everyone knows how desperate and creepy you are. The only reason I ever hung out with you is because I felt pity for you, and just like everyone said you would, you leap on me and try to force me just because I'm the first girl to give you the time of day!"

I ran off, leaving him stood there speechless, into my room.

God my head was pounding at this point, I want to cut the pressure out of my head, tear across my forehead and let it escape. I grabbed my hair, scratched my face and bashed my head repeatedly against the wall. I hated him, I hated myself, I hated my life.

I was just about to head into the bathroom, to cut myself to relieve the pain in my head as I always do, when I caught a glimpse of something at the corner of my eye. It was a letter, no written signature and typed, so I didn't know who it was from. It was merely signed 'X'.

I tore it open and screamed in rage when I read the contents.

Christian must've followed me, because shortly I heard a knocking at the door, and a voice yelling at me to open it.

I opened it and started throwing things at him, only to end up in another argument.

I ran to the bathroom, reaching for the razor,and sank on the bathroom floor. My emotions and rage clouded my rational thought, all I wanted was an escape, for the pressure to go away. I held out my arm, and started cutting myself. And then suddenly, everything went black.

2 Hours later_

I was sat in my room thinking about the events of today. Although I couldn't believe what Rose had done, I knew I overreacted in a way that wasn't like me at all. But then I thought about the letter. I closed my eyes, tears welling up as I thought about what it claimed. I took it out of my bedside drawer and read it again:

 _My dearest friend,_

It _saddens me to inform you of such devastating news, but it must be done._ _I have been watching for a while now, and I know you are being decieved by the person you love._

.

This _concerns two people you know:_

.

.

Rose _and Christian._ _For sometime now, they have been having a secret affair. You will notice how playfully hostile they are with each other. Well they more than make up for it in the bedroom. It is up to you to believe it , but I will have evidence for you very shortly._

.

.

Yours _sincerely,_

.

.

X

I shook my head and sighed to myself. I don't even know how I could ever take this seriously, just seeing Rose like that, and even the thought of her screwing the love of my life like that made me jealous and plain mean. I was ashamed of myself. Those were the two people I had left, my family, and I had been so rude to them.

I knew I needed to apologise to Rose, I said some things to her that I didn't mean, it was just to hurt her in the moment.

I wanted to find Christian to tell him about the ridiculous letter, so we could both laugh about it and move on.

But just then, as I reached the door, some pictures were shoved beneath it. I picked them up and gasped. There, in a secluded spot that would be hidden to anyone, was Rose and Christian. The picture showed her straddling him, pinning him down, with her head leaning towards him, like they were going to kiss.

I quickly turned around, threw myself on the bed and started to cry. It couldn't be true….they both loved me….but then what was with the letter, and even if that wasn't true ...pictures don't lie...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Out of the woods

.

.

.

I had been straddling Christian to keep him from running away from me as I told him to look after Lissa. After climbing off him and saying a quick goodbye, I started thinking about my options of escape.

As I was debating this in my head, I heard quiet footsteps edge close towards me. I quickly ran into the nearby wooded area to try and take cover. The movement didn't escape their notice, after all, we guardians were trained to have perfect observations skills.

As I ran I could see their eyes following the sound, just as I thought they were going to follow me, despite how quiet I was, I slipped on my arse. Biting my lips, enough to draw blood, I held in the stream of swear words desperate to escape my mouth.

Just as I thought they were going to search after me, a familiar looking guardian crossed their path. I peered over the bush I was hiding behind, only to see the bowl-cut guardian I had seduced, pacing up and down frantically, manically waving and flapping his arms in panic.

"How the hell did he get a job as a guardian?" I muttered under my breath. He started stuttering and speaking to the other guardians, in a panic stricken, high pitched voice.

Although I was too far a way to make out what he was saying, I pretty much gathered that he was telling them that I had escaped.

 _Shit_. I had hoped he'd have stayed out longer than that, guess I didn't hit him as hard as I'd hoped.

The guardians followed him, presumably to inform Kirova of the problem.

I let out a sigh of relief as I heard the light footsteps fade into the distance. However, that meant I had to act quickly. An idea struck me.

The academy had a rubbish collection service at the back entrance that worked during daylight hours, to avoid any Stigoi attacks.

I ran over as fast as I could and stopped for a couple of minutes, observing the men picking up the trash bins, and emptying them into the skip. The two trash collectors, dhampir of course (no Moroi would ever consider themselves 'low' enough to do such a job) had stopped for a quick break, talking to one of the guardians on duty.

I took this opportunity to approach the rubbish tip.

I quickly hooked my foot onto the ledge of the skip, and swung my other foot over. I now had one leg on the heaped rubbish, and the other suspended in mid-Air. I looked down at the trash below me and wrinkled my nose In disgust. God almighty, the smell was indescribable. Absolutely everything was in there, and I meant everything. Yesterday's fish scraps, hygiene products, half empty booze bottles….everything.

The guard's laugh brought me back to reality and I remembered what this was for, and why I was attempting to escape.

With a deep breath, not knowing when the next lung full of fresh air will be, I dived into the tip. I had just buried myself enough to remain hidden when the guards approached the vehicle and started discussing the plan.

A deep, gruff voice, barely audible under the layers of trash above me, said to his partner "So, the plan. It's a fair bit away to the dump, we're talking at least a day's journey, so I'm thinking we could stop at a few pit stops, get a drink, bite to eat. Boss doesn't need to know. We'll just say it was traffic."

The other voice, younger sounding and voice slightly breaking, replied in a whiny tone.

"I…. I dunno Frank, the boss always has a way of finding out. I mean, what if he checks in whilst we're at the stop having lunch?"

The older man, Frank, had clearly had enough of the younger man's petulance. He sighed and apparently muttered something uncomplimentary about his colleague because the younger man responded with "Hey, if you're gonna be like that, then I don't give a shit. But if the boss finds out, I'm not taking any of the blame!"

For God's sakes, any minute now, the gates could be closed off and I would have no chance of escaping. If we didn't leave in the next few minutes, I was bound to be discovered through an inspection.

Luckily, Frank had had enough and got in the car. He started the engine and the young man quickly jumped in. I made a mental note to kiss Frank when I escaped.

I let out a soft sigh of relief with the steady movement of the vehicle. I heard the clang of the metal as we continued, the closing of the academy gates.

We must have been an hour into the journey when the excitement and anticipation wore off, and the foul smell began to overwhelm me. Figuring I had a good while before a pit stop, I decided to slip into Lissa's head. I didn't plan on doing this too much, as I was bound to become homesick.

But now, worrying about whether they had any scent of my trail, I decided to press ahead this time.

\--xXx--

 _Lissa was stood in Kirova's office. It was at moments like this she hated the stupid one way bond. She wished she could slip into my head, it would be so easy that way, to find where I was._

 _She had only just been called in. Apparently the others, by that I mean the guardians and Kirova, hadn't known for much longer before that._

 _They had tried all sorts of means to find out where I was, they had pulled security camera footage, but seeing as I had been careful to stay out of sight, they had found nothing. They had asked guardians, and other people out at that time if they had seen anything to do with my whereabouts at all, and drawn blank. Lissa, Eddie and Christian didn't know anything. Well, Christian did, but he stayed true to our agreement and kept silent. I held so much gratitude for him in that moment. I know it took a lot to lie to Lissa. Although I guess the anti-establishment rebel within was thriving off this situation._

 _"For heaven's sakes! How difficult can it possibly be to find a bloody teenage girl! It cannot be possible that a girl like Rose could outsmart us, could outsmart me!" Kirova's face was bright red with anger. Her nostrils flared, and there was practically steam coming out of her ears._

 _Lissa, and some of the others present, were visibly taken aback by the outburst, and having seen their reaction, Kirova cleared her throat, smoothed out her skirt, and attempted to return to her professional self once more._

 _"We've checked everything Ma'am, the security, possibly witnesses, friends, guardians….no one has seen anything" this voice came from one of the guardians I'd seen earlier doing his rounds. Despite his best efforts, his guardian mask had slipped slightly, showing his annoyance at Kirova's implication that they were not doing their job properly._

 _"We are trained to notice any changes in our environment, yes. But you forget that Miss Hathaway is not an ordinary student. She has experienced more than some of us here, and as of such, we do not know how capable she really is"._

 _That part of the speech made me feel pretty damn smug. I had a badass reputation, not only amongst my peers, but with the guardians I aspired towards too._

 _Just then a familiar deep, sensual voice spoke. It held such confidence, such gravity, that it captured the attention of every person in the room._

 _"What about the delivery service, or the rubbish collection? Has anyone checked the vehicles that have left the campus within the past two hours?"_

 _Damn Dimitri. How did he always know my train of thought? The anger I had felt towards him for that scene I witness with Tasha only intensified with those words._

 _Of course he would know my thinking. He was a fucking God after all. Or at least, I used to think he was. Yes, looking at him now through Lissa's eyes, he was still incredibly handsome and gorgeous. But when I saw him with Tasha, something broke inside me. My image of him. He was no longer the perfect man I once thought he was._

 _His face remained passive. Usually, when I had gone missing before, his guardian mask slipped. But seeing him now, well….it was like he didn't care._

 _I guess he didn't give a shit, Tasha must've given it to him good. Not as good as I would've done, naturally._

 _A smirk stretched upon Kirova's bird like face. God how I wanted to smack that right off her. She started making orders, telling guardians to double check the camera footage, and check the sign in sheet for vehicles that have recently entered the premises. She then told the guardians to exit the campus, tracking the vehicles that had left._

 _Lissa felt a mixture of emotions run through her head at this new development. Yes, she wanted to know if I was safe, and she had been worrying over my whereabouts, but when she thought about the letter, a bitterness enveloped her._

 _She didn't want to believe the letter...but the photographs..._

\--xXx--

I was snapped back into my own head with a jolt of the truck over a pothole.

Huh?! What letter, what photographs? So she wasn't just mad at me for the way I lashed out against Jesse. I knew it. I knew there had to be more.

But then, what exactly had I done then?

I was racking my brains for some sort of explanation, when I noticed the truck had started to slow down, then came to a steady stop.

I heard the truck doors slam, and footsteps coming closer towards me.

"Right Frank, I'm not messing around here. Quick coffee and we're off. We've only been on the road for a couple of hours."

Frank merely scoffed, and told him to hurry up then. The younger man continued to nag at him as they, presumably, started towards the café. Shortly, their conversation dwindled away into the distance.

I had rather hoped to stay on this truck as long as possible, to get as far away from the academy as I possibly could.

But knowing they now had tabs on the vehicles, and could catch up to us within the next hour or so, I knew I now had to make my move, and fast.


	6. Chapter 6

_Please review_

 **Chapter 6: Panic**

I tried to get my bearings, looking for the best possible exit. I ran hurriedly when I heard a man's voice cry out at me to stop. They ran after me, in pursuit, as I headed for the nearby woods to hopefully lose them. I could hear their footsteps coming closer, but being young and recently trained, by a Russian God, nonetheless, I managed to keep a clear lead.

Sharp branches slashed into me as I ran, but I persevered until one particular protruding branch sliced into my forearm, making me yell out in pain. I stumbled slightly, gripping my forearm as the warm deep crimson liquid oozed out of it. This slight stumble was enough to make me lose my balance on the arduous and hazardous terrain, causing me to fall head first, barely bracing the impact on my arms just in time to avoid a collision between the ground and my face.

I was now covered in mud and debris, groaning from the impact and endeavouring to clumsily climb to my feet, when I felt a heavy weight slam into me, knocking me with a great force back to the ground. My assailant revealed himself when he shoved me onto my back, making me look at him face to face.

He was a rather odious looking man, with dirty teeth and a foul, stale breath. He still had remnants of his pitstop meal in his dirty, greasy ginger speckled beard, bits of which fell onto my face as he shook and heaved on top of me, trying to catch his breath.

"Come on Frank, give the girl some space, they want her back in one piece."

Sweet mother of Jesus, this meant the man currently leering and sweating on top of me was Frank, the man I had promised myself I would kiss.

I shuddered at the thought, and the movement did not escape his notice as my breasts jiggled slightly with the movement. I felt a wet patch hit my check and looked up at him to find him drooling as he stared at my chest. He removed one of his hands that had been pinning my non-injured arm down and lowered it down until it roughly grasped my breast. I gasped out in surprise, disgusted and skin crawling.

"Jesus Frank! That's enough mate, get the fuck off her man. You're going too far."

Frank smirked, a heinous grin stretching upon his face, bearing his discoloured, chipped teeth in a malevolent snarl.

"You seem to be forgetting boy, that I am in charge here, I am the lead. I've done this job a hell of a lot longer than you have, and I deserve to…" his eyes trailed over my body "...treat myself after years of this shitty job."

Unfortunately for him, luckily for me, the position of his his arm, still being on my breast, meant that I could pull off a right uppercut to his face. He cried out, probably in surprise that such a small girl could pack in such a forceful punch. His head snapped back, and he grabbed his nose as blood gushed out of it, covering his hands.

 _Fuck yeah, this bitch has still got it,_ I thought smugly.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, blocking off Frank's lunge at me. I roundhouse kicked him, and he launched backwards. He quickly got up, a man of his size clearly not affected by my blow.

Despite his stout and heavy build, his reflexes and attacks were sloppy and slow due to years of a sedentary job. I, on the other hand, was much faster, and this speed made up for my lack of heavy stature.

He ran towards me again, but I leapt to the side at the last second, causing him to go crashing into the tree, knocking him unconscious.

This was just too easy.

The younger man, who had cowered behind a neighbouring bush, flinched and then froze in fear as I approached him. _Cool_.

It was tempting to see if I could make him wet himself without touching him, but then I remembered he stuck up for me earlier.

I decided to strike a deal with him. He would tell me what happened, then follow my instructions, and I would let him go, pain free.

He was too scared to speak, he kept stammering and stuttering, until eventually, he got his words out.

"I….I...okay. Deal. J..just please, please don't hurt me".

God almighty, I barely touched the other man, I began to realise why this man was not following the dhampir tradition of becoming a guardian.

Eventually, with some difficulty, I managed to draw the previous events from him.

_xXX_

" _I'm heading to the truck. Frank, this is ridiculous. We've barely made any progress and any moment the boss will be checking up on us"._

 _The older man merely scoffed in response and rolled his eyes, before continuing to slowly sip his coffee. It wasn't even all that pleasant, he was just doing it to piss the kid off._

 _Simon reached the truck, just in time to hear the radio tune in._

 _"Calling the Trash Can litter pick up service, license plate B1N ME3. This is the academy calling. We have an emergency situation and require your assistance immediately. Please pick up. Calling the Tra…."_

 _"H..Hello? This is Simon Johnson responding from The Trash Can, how can I help?" The young man began to sweat profusely, the idea of an emergency terrified him. He had picked this job for a reason. Guardian life was far too intense for his liking._

 _"We have an emergency situation, one of the students, a Miss Hathaway, appears to have left the school premises via one of the delivery/pickup services exiting the campus. It is necessary that you inform us if you have any information on her whereabouts, and that you check your vehicle thoroughly._

 _The description of the girl is as follows:_

 _17 year old girl, long dark brown hair, medium height, slim build."_

 _"Yes Sir, I will let you know if anything strange occu…..wait, hold on one moment!"_

 _Simon caught a glimpse of a strikingly beautiful figure heading out towards the wooded area opposite the pit stop diner. Though she was a distance away, he noticed the dark hair and slim build from where he was stood._

 _He immediately ran to the diner, and briefly explained the situation, before the two men ran out towards the woods, Simon taking a Walkie talkie with him, and Frank speeding ahead_.

.

_xXx_

"Fuck….shit...hell…" I continued my stream of swear words, much to the surprise of Simon, and smacked myself on the forehead. Damn, they were further ahead than I thought.

I grabbed Simon roughly by the collar of his shirt, and practically growled at him "Listen to me, listen to me or your pretty little blue eyes will be replaced shortly by a pair of rather hairy testicles, that I will personally rip off myself."

His eyes widened in fear, and started to glaze over...he looked like he was about to pass out.

Maybe that was a bit too far...but it was necessary for this escape to work, that he took my threat seriously and listened to me.

I needed him to cooperate with me, however unwilling, to ensure that I could lead the guardians off this particular trail for a short while longer.

"I need you to call the academy headquarters and inform them that it was a false alarm, you had followed the wrong woman who was meeting her husband."

With his hands shaking, he grasped the walkie talkie and took a deep breath. I told him to calm down, if he was too nervous it would raise suspicion.

"Hello, this is Simon. I'm calling in regards to the last phone call made stating the missing girl and need for her return." He gulped and looked at me, I nodded silently in approval.

"This is Guardian Belikov" _fuck_ "you said you may have something earlier?"

I was aware I was breathing heavier at the sound of his voice, despite it being cold and harsh, it still made my heart beat faster and breathing hitch.

I tried to get my breathing under control and gestured for Simon, who looked rather confused at my reaction, to continue.

He cleared his throat, and carried on in his shaky voice.

"Yes, I did say that but it was a false alarm. I followed a woman but as it turns out she did not quite fit the description you gave, and was meeting her husband, who joined us shortly."

Good, not bad so far. All going according to plan.

"What about your partner? Can he also vouch for this? I would like for you to put him on now."

Damn Dimitri, so goddamn thorough.

We both glanced over at Frank's unconscious body heaped on the ground by the tree in perfect synchronization.

We both began to panic, waving our arms gesturing for the other to suggest something. Suddenly, Simon thought of an idea.

"Well sir?" Dimitri's voice sounded uncharacteristically impatient now. Wonder what climbed up his arse and died. Maybe he was eager to get back to his crazy, skinny ass girlfriend.

Simon glanced at me nervously before saying "He errr...he, yes! He ate a dodgy sandwich from the diner...tuna I believe, and he's in the toilets currently violently vomiting".

I fist pumped the air and kissed Simon on the cheek. Simon blushed profusely and Dimitri, never missing a thing, asked what that sound was.

Simon, evidently still fazed, started sputtering… "Frank, he's in a bad way, he err….well I kissed him, on the forehead...you know...to….make him feel better and all that."

I slapped my forehead in despair. Bloodyhell. Of all the excuses he could've come up with. I stood there speechless, faze no doubt contorted in puzzlement.

Dimitri didn't seem to know what to say at first either, and just ended the phone call with "Very well sir, we um, we should be in contact with your vehicle very shortly, approximately 40 minutes, so please remain put so we are able to assess the situation ourselves. Thank you." And with that he hung up abruptly.

Simon and I both stared at the phone then at each other, before I realised the estimate of 40 minutes meant I had to act quickly.

With that I hastily said goodbye to Simon, telling him to take an awaking Frank back to the truck and go along with our charade. I reminded about the testicle threat, and we parted ways.


	7. Chapter 7: Confusion

_**Author's note**_

 _Thank you for the reviews, as promised I will update with another part now._

 _To the guest reviewer: Thank you for your comment. I appreciate that I should write for enjoyment but I wasn't writing for reviews._

 _I was wondering whether or not people were still interested. I know I'm just starting out, so I can't expect it to be the best one out there, I just figured it wasn't worth continuing if there was no interest. And to be honest, since reading a couple more, I'm doubting my own abilities quite a bit!_

 _In regards to Lissa and Dimitri, I think it was the shock of the situation that caused them to react in such a way. From getting that shocking letter, to immediately seeing Rose act that way well I think it made them react in a way that wasn't necessarily normal for them. If you found out there was a chance that you had been cheated on, or your best friend cheated on you with your boyfriend, and had supposed evidence, and then was launched into a situation where the one who had betrayed you nearly killed a boy, then the initial reaction might be overheated and not necessarily rational._

 _And with Lissa's darkness, my point was that the feelings were so intense that she blacked out from them, the trauma it had caused made her forget what caused it._

 _This is a real condition. If the brain is overworked, then it just shuts down and blanks everything out, causing memory loss. Which is something I have personally gone through._

 _And Lissa has, to a certain extent, depression, which in itself does lead to changes in personality._

 _Anyway, here is my next chapter. Let me knoe what you think!_

Thanks again,

E xxx

_xXx_

 **Chapter 7: Confusion**

From the first time since running away, I felt truly alone and empty. The bitterness that had consumed me, was now being replaced by feelings of sadness and regret. Regret for the way I had left things, for letting myself get so out of control, for letting myself fall for Dimitri, and regret for the pain my disappearance would leave Lissa.

I shivered as I attempted to wrap my jacket around me even more. Confident I had shaken off any guardians, I had decided to take cover under a bridge. Despite the solid arch above me, the severity of the rain meant that I had very little shelter from the harsh weather, exposed to the elements in all their mighty.

I was drenched through and freezing to the core. This is not how I had imagined running away. Yes, I knew it would be hard, but being here, experiencing it for myself, it was so much worse than I had imagined.

I lay in the small bit of grass that pressed up against the wall of the bridge. Although it was better than nothing, it provided very little comfort and warmth.

I longed for the warm embrace of a certain Russian. I imagined his body pressed up against mine, his arms tight around me, his head resting on mine. The way he held me...it was like he didn't want to let me go, it was like he could protect me from anything.

I wondered what he was doing. It was hard to believe, in my now rational mind, that he didn't care for me at all. I knew, on some level, he loved me. He had said as much after the lust charm given by Victor.

But then why, why did he kiss Tasha? Why was he so upset? Yes,what I did to Jesse was something else. But if he loved me...surely he would know that I wouldn't do it as my normal self, that something was up.

And what was this letter? These photographs of Lissa's? Maybe this explained why she was so upset with me. I thought about slipping into her head, but I figured my feelings of loneliness would only intensify if I saw her surrounded by everyone I loved that I had left behind.

I had to settle for obsessing helplessly, until I was stronger to face it.

My depressing thoughts continued to inundate me for a quite some time, and an eternity seemed to pass until eventually, exhausted and weary, my body and mind gave up trying to reason things out, and I gave in to sleep.

At first I was welcomed with a pleasant darkness, one that relieved me from my emotion and thoughts. I didn't think, I didn't feel...it was bliss. I was away from the horrible cold, damp spot I took rest.

But then all of a sudden I was ripped away from the peace and tranquility of my slumber, into an incredibly lavish ballroom.

 _It was absolutely stunning, with a high ceiling, and opulent decor, it was the picture of wealth and royalty. Artistic paintings, no doubt priceless, laced the walls. An extravagant chandelier hung high on the ceiling, a ceiling which had carvings of ancient decor etched upon it. On the walls hung heavy, luscious red curtains, delicately placed in arches across the room._

 _Men and women, dressed in elegant formal wear, glided effortlessly and smoothly across the ballroom, whilst an orchestra played a waltz-like melody._

 _I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of one of the windows. I was dressed in a long, black dress, that had a sweetheart neckline and hung to my every curve. My hair was tied up, in an elegant updo, with a few strands curling down over my face. I had a pale, barely visible lipstick on, that accentuated the shape of my luscious, full lips. To finish the outfit, I had black tall Stilettos on._

 _…..I looked damn hot._

 _Interrupting me from my assessment of myself came a voice being me._

 _"Finished checking yourself out yet, little dhampir?" A velvety smooth voice let out a chuckle._

 _"Mind you, I can hardly blame you, if I was you, and had that body, I don't think I'd stop looking at myself….though I'd prefer to see the view naked"_

 _I turned around to find a man with dark blonde/brown hair, and a pair of sharp, piercing emerald green eyes._

 _He was extraordinarily well dressed, with a clear cut, well fitting suit, no doubt made to fit by an expensive tailor._

 _Adrian stood there, cigar in his hand, and shot of something strong smelling in the other._

 _I crossed my arms and glared at him._

 _"I sincerely doubt with the countless women you claim throw themselves at your feet every minute of the waking day, that you are short of knowledge on the female anatomy."_

 _A smirk graced his face, his emerald eyes shining with humour._

 _"My dear little dhampir, you underestimate the power that your body can have on a man, once a man sees you, all other women are dulled miserably in comparison._

 _You are the only one for me my dear, my heart beats for you. Don't give me that look, that scowl, it tears my heart in two to see it etched upon that strikingly beautiful face of yours."_

 _He clutched his hand to his chest, and dramatically started to stumble in apparent pain._

 _I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips, as much as I wanted to. The last thing I wanted to do was to feed Adrian Ivanskov's ego._

 _I looked at him, he was funny, cute, smart, and caring. Not to mention hot as hell._

 _And yet….yet I couldn't give my heart to him. He had made his desire for me quite clear in the past, ever since that meeting in the ski lodge, and I wish that I could reciprocate those feelings, but I just couldn't. My heart belonged to someone else._

 _He must've seen my face screwed up in thought, because his own became a lot more serious all of a sudden._

 _"Rose…" he took a step forward and took my hands in his. " Rose, you need to come home, tell us where you are, everyone is worried sick about you, Lissa, me…..even the cradle robber. Honestly, I've never seen him hold so much emotion before. He keeps snapping at everyone, pacing up and down, murmuring to himself in Russian. I think he's going crazy, soon he'll be competing with me."_

 _I furrowed my brow in confusion._

 _"I don't understand! How can you say that?! The last I saw he was snogging Tasha's face off! Maybe...I dunno….he had an argument with her? And Lissa doesn't miss me, she doesn't even care that I've gone!"_

 _That last part wasn't actually true. I knew Lissa missed me, I could tell through the bond. But if I kept telling Adrian and myself that she didn't care that I was gone, maybe I could believe it, and that would make staying away much easier._

 _Adrian sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Little dhampir, it pains me to say this, but the cradle robber is distressed because of you. He's been in charge of this whole thing, taken over completely. And every time Tasha goes near him, he flips out. Obviously you know him, he keeps it contained when it's just Lissa and I there. I don't think Lissa has noticed much with him, she's too upset herself, by he's definitely worried. Please come home, where are you anyway?_

 _I can tell by your aura you're not happy. I'm worried about you little dhampir._

 _And even if...even if you don't come home for me, do It for Lissa, do it for Dimitri. They need you, we all need you. We need to know you're safe and well."_

 _I closed my eyes, refusing to take in what he just said. I had to believe that they were better off without me._

 _Lissa wouldn't be associated with her crazy ass bondmate, and Dimitri. God it hurt to even think this...but he deserves to be with someone who could make him happy. He had always said I was reckless and naïve, and considering how serious he was, maybe he needed someone like that._

 _I opened my eyes, and looked at Adrian with resolve._

 _"I'm fine Adrian, I promise. I know what I'm doing. I've been on the run before, and I will be able to do it again. Trust me. This is for the best."_

 _He looked at me with concern._

 _"Rose, I can see your aura, you're lying. Where are you, please? Please just tell me where you are, we need to find you."_

 _The concern in his eyes made me feel incredibly guilty, I didn't deserve that, especially not from him. He loved me so much and I couldn't return it to him. The guilt was becoming unbearable, so I decided to end the spirit dream myself. I closed my eyes and focused all my energy on the blank darkness of my previous sleep to try and block Adrian out. He realised what I was doing and widened his eyes, about to open his mouth in protest, but it was too late. I had gone._

 _..._

I returned back to the empty blackness. Except it didn't seem half as peaceful and welcoming as before. It felt cold and lonely.

I opened my eyes, it was still the middle of the night, and I wanted to find out if Adrian was telling the truth, if they really did miss me, so I decided to slip into Lissa's mind.

.

...

" _What do you mean you don't know?! The whole point of us sitting here, waiting for you, wasting hours for you to come round, was for us to gain some information as to her whereabouts." Dimitri, though still holding his Guardian mask on, had raised his voice slightly and his breathing became heavier with anger._

 _Although it wasn't terribly obvious to the others, as Adrian said, Lissa's mind was far too preoccupied to take note of his reaction, I could tell that he was upset. Beneath his guardian mask, his eyes betrayed him. The emotion in them, a mixture of concern, guilt, anger and loss, was almost too much for me to take in. His fists were clenched, and his jaw tightened in an attempt to control his emotions and what came out of his mouth. He took a deep breath, and tried to calm down._

 _Adrian, unfazed by Dimitri's words, shrugged his shoulders and said "I did the best I could cradle robber. She didn't want to to tell me. What was I supposed to do? Force it out of her? And how do you propose I do that? You know I would never lay a finger on her._

 _Did you want me to seduce her, get me to take her to bed with me? So after making hot, passionate, wild monkey sex, she would feel obliged to open her heart to me? That can be arranged you know. Just say the world and I'll…."_

 _He was cut off by a powerful force that pinned him up by the collar against the wall. Dimitri looked pissed. And I was ashamed to say that it was turning me.on considerably._

 _Lissa snapped out of her bubble at Adrian's exclamation of surprise, and leapt up to his defense. However, her attempts to get rid off Dimitri's arms on Adrian were futile, being a rather weak Moroi._

 _Adrian recovered himself, and smirked again. God he had some balls. As hot as I found Dimitri at that moment in time, he was scary as hell._

 _"Pray tell why the thought of me with Rose bothers you? Last I heard you were getting it on, hot and sweaty, with Tasha Ozera. Rose said so herself. She saw you."_

 _Lissa gasped, but her surprise was nothing in comparison to Dimitri's._

 _He stood there, and to me, I could see in his eyes sadness and confusion. I bet he was wondering how I had found out about them, and I wondered if he felt guilty, thinking that was the reason I ran away. He dropped Adrian and walked out of the room quickly._

 _Lissa ran over to Adrian to check if he was okay. It was not like Guardian Belikov to act so wildly, although she knew first hand just how irritating Adrian could be, she just wished she had paid more attention to their conversation instead of getting wrapped up in her own thoughts._

 _Adrian slouched down to the floor and reached for his cigarettes. Lissa took them out of his hand gently and put her hands on his face, tilting his head and checking for any injuries that she could heal._

 _It appeared that he was okay, and she was just about to question what happened when Christian walked in. Catching them in a seemingly intense and cosy position._

 _"What the hell is going on here?!!!" He yelled, his pale face turning into a dangerous red colour._

 _Lissa dropped her hands immediately and started to explain, but before I could hear what unfolded, I was knocked out of my vision back to reality with a blow to my side._

.

I looked up to detect the source of the malevolent laughter that enveloped me, curling over my side in pain, only to be greeted by several pairs of red ringed eyes….

….Strigoi


	8. Chapter 8: Lost

_**Author's note**_

 _Thank you for the reviews._

 _My phone decided to delete half the chapter…. So I wanted to apologize in advance because the original was better, but I can't remember how I wrote it at all!_

 _Thanks,_

 _E xxx_

 **Chapter 8: Lost**

 **Dimitri's POV**

.

My chest hurt, my lungs felt like they were going to explode at any moment, my legs were heavy, and every muscle in my body burned with such intensity I was in physical pain. But I couldn't stop. Perhaps if the physical pain becomes overpowering, it will inundate the mental and emotional pain I was feeling.

I had run for three hours now, non-stop, with the hope of allowing myself to get lost in the rhythm of the pounding of my feet and steady sound of my breath. Usually that worked, but today….today nothing seemed to put an end to my constant internal struggles.

I felt so much anger inside of me. I worked so hard to keep my guardian mask on at all times, allowing myself to shield away from the rest of the world. I worked out all of my frustration, anger and emotion through exercise. But sometimes, like today, it was too much. I had always criticised Rose on her display of emotion; as a Guardian, it was important to detach oneself as much as possible, and to ensure that, no matter how pained you may feel on the inside, whether you have just found out your mother had just died; your lover has eloped with another man; whether you have been ridiculed and beaten within an inch of your life, you must not show it on the outside. A Guardian's job was to protect the Moroi race, to put their life above your own, to give up everything you love in order to make their life as comfortable as possible…..after all _-They come first._

But did they?

I recalled Rose once commenting to me…

" _You're just like me Dimitri! You pretend that you're all high and mighty, but despite your outward appearance of being a plain cold hearted jackass, you are just like me! You keep all of your emotions bottled up, buried under that serious persona you put on, but you know that, at some time, it will all just explode! And you can't control that Comrade, as much as you like to pretend you can- Just like I can't control my emotions. We're alive beings Comrade! Not just some robotic, generic fighting machine, whose sole purpose is to serve others._ _._ _._ _Yes they are important, God knows I would never let anything happen to Lissa, but we have to live too. "_

At this moment of time, I knew that she was right. I couldn't control my emotions and I could not help but, rather selfishly, think about how much I had sacrificed for other people.

I loved Rose, no, still love her. But I let that one chance of happiness, the feeling of completeness, disappear without a fight.

I had spent a lot of time thinking about that letter, and re-reading it over and over again. I would've thought it absolutely absurd, except for the photographs. But even then… I knew that Rose loved me. There had to be another explanation for the position her and Christian were in. It seemed like a childish prank, but I didn't know who it could be from.

I had thought that it may have been Tasha at first. The timing of her arriving at my apartment shortly after the incident with Rose and discovery of the letter and photographs seemed too coincidental. But Christian had been involved in the vicious accusation…and considering how much Tasha had lost, I thought she would have valued one of her last surviving family members above any such childish prank.

I shook my head at myself as I thought about Tasha. I had kissed her, much to my embarrassment, but nothing else happened after that.

I was so angry and hurt by Rose. To allow herself to beat up a boy so mercilessly (even if he did deserve some sort of punishment), well…. I was disappointed in her. I had wanted to start a relationship with her, I was so sick of fighting the love that I had for her. But then she did something like that and it reminded me of how childish she was… how naïve she was. Because that's what she is…childish and naïve.

I still love Rose, but in that moment, I chastised myself for the foolish way I had romanticised any possibility of us being together. I had to prove to myself that I was not going to give in to my emotions like that, that I would not allow myself to fall for a woman I could never have, to compromise my professionality. After all, I thought bitterly, that is how I had let Ivan die… I had let our friendship compromise my ability to be a Guardian. And I should have protected him.

The kiss with Tasha meant nothing to me. I thought back to that kiss with reluctance _._

 __xXx__

 _I punched the wall hard with my right fist, causing the plaster to shatter and leaving a huge dent in the wall. Why did she do it, my Roza? I had been so ready to accept that our love would never fade, and pour my heart out to her. I thought back to that picture with disgust…. Nausea rose in my stomach and I swore violently in Russian. I couldn't think, I couldn't reason, despite knowing deep down that there must be a reasonable explanation for all of this… for the letter, for the photograph, and for the way Rose acted out at Jesse, my mind was clouded by the constant voice in my head telling my how stupid I was for letting myself fall for a student._

 _I lay against the wall exhausted, I closed my eyes, and much to my embarrassment I felt tears stream down my cheeks. I felt in that moment like my heart broke in two, like any chance of Rose and I being together was ruined._

 _Just then, there was a knock at the door. I considered leaving it be, I just wanted to be alone, but the knocking persisted, and with great annoyance, I ripped open the door._

 _Tasha stood there, apparently shocked at my disheveled appearance and demeanour._

 _"Dimka! Oh gosh! You look terrible! How are you? I heard about what happened with Rose! I wanted to come over to cheer you up. That must've been so embarrassing and upsetting for you, after all it's your reputation on the line, you mentored her! "_

 _I sighed heavily, this is not what I needed at all right now._

 _"Thanks for 'cheering me up' Tasha, but I need to be by myself tonight." I practically growled at her, I was pissed off and tired, and was no mood for any company tonight._

 _"Playing hard to get I see, as always!" She chuckled "Come on, open the door, I'll open a bottle of wine and we can have a good chat."_

 _She attempted to make her way into my apartment, but I hastily blocked her entrance and stood there, looking down at her with a face that I hoped showed her I was not amused._

 _"Tasha, I'm really not in the mood tonight, I would much rather you left me alone. I need to think about things." I massaged the sides of my head to try and get rid of the painful migraine her shrill and petulant voice was inflicting on me._

 _She pretend scoffed and huffed, nowhere near as cutely as Rose when she did it._

 _"But Dimka! I want to help! Let me help you, like old times"_

 _"Goodnight Tasha". I began to close the door on her face, extremely rude and unlike me, but I had had enough, my head was pounding and I wanted nothing more than to just go to bed and sort things out tomorrow._

 _Just as the door was about to close, Tasha shoved her slender frame part way between the door and doorframe, stopping me from shutting it, and she wormed her way into my living room._

 _I took in her appearance then. There was no denying that Tasha was attractive, with piercing ice blue eyes and raven black hair, together with her tall and slender frame and petite features...she was quite striking._

 _But she wasn't Roza. Roza was breathtaking, with curves that would drive any man mad, and stunning exotic looks….she was beautiful._

 _I had tried before with Tasha, but I just couldn't make it works despite how much she clearly wanted it to. I think deep down, even before I met Rose, I knew that there had to be some sort of deeper connection involved. One like I had with Roza. I felt sorry for the woman in a way, but that was not enough to make me retain my patience with her._

 _"Enough Tasha, I have made it very clear to you, I do not want to talk to you, I don't want to see you, I want to be left alone. And with that I turned around and dragged my feet to the bedroom. I collapsed on the bed utterly exhausted. My mind was a mess, and I was not used to this._

 _I was so used to being organised and logical. These current waves of emotion….they were foreign to me, and I did not like them one bit._

 _I buried my head in my calloused hands. God what a mess I had made of my life._

 _I sat there, trying to gather I thoughts together, and calm down._

 _I felt the bed sink beside me with a smaller weight, and a comforting arm wrap around me._

 _Without even thinking I closed my eyes and leant in, touching my lips with the woman next to me. I kissed hem hungrily, pouring every ounce of emotion into it._

 _I kissed Roza in a way I had been desperate do for months. I longed for that kiss of hers, longed for the way it sent shocks across my body, stimulated every nerve, and made the hairs at the back of my neck stand up._

 _Except….the kiss didn't feel like that. It wasn't that it didn't make me feel anything...it made me feel sick._

 _I pulled back in confusion, the lips sought mine, but I moved away and opened my eyes, confused as to why I didn't feel the same pleasure I usually did when kissing Rose._

 _I opened my eyes and froze. Sitting next to me was not the woman I loved…._

 _….it was Tasha._

 _I leapt from the bed, nearly catapulting her off with the movement. I had no idea what to do. What had I just done?!_

 _Roza and I aren't even together, yet the feeling of guilt and shame that crept over me made me feel like I had betrayed her._

 _Yet...for some reason, although Tasha was obviously in my house, with my eyes close, and just feeling a presence next to me….I wanted it to be Roza, and genuinely thought, in that moment of insanity, that it was her._

 _I wanted to kiss her, make everything right between us. It drove me crazy, quite evidently, when we weren't okay._

 _The anger I had felt towards her diminished, and it was replaced by the feeling of loss. I wanted her, and no matter how hard I tried, there was nothing I could do to make my feelings towards her change._

 _I lay back on my bed once I kicked Tasha out, closing my eyes and just let myself enter a sort of meditated state- clearing my mind of all thought, and just focusing on the rise and fall of my chest as I breathed. Sometime later, I heard a knock on my door, and having had that little rest, I felt much better and stood up to answer it. My head was clearer, and I knew I had to speak to Roza to sort things out and get answers from her._

 _I hadn't wanted to give in to my feelings for Rose, but the kiss earlier made me realise how much I wanted and needed her, and no one else._

 _I had by no means excused the way she had been with Jesse. I had hoped I had taught her better than that. But perhaps an explanation from her would clear things up. I knew Rose, there must've been a reason as to why she lashed out._

 _I opened the door to find a Guardian standing there._

 _"Guardian Belikov" he formally greeted me with a nod."_

 _"Guardian Rustler" I replied._

 _"I have been asked to call all Guardians to the conference room. A pupil has been reported missing and we need the attention and cooperation from every Guardian possible to find her. We have reason to believe that they have attempted to escape the academy."_

 _Time seemed to stop. My heart started beating rapidly. My mouth went dry. Struggling to compose myself, my mouth started moving before I could tell it to stop. I had a feeling I already knew the answer to this question, and I also knew hearing it allowed would crush me._

 _"Who, may I ask, is the reported pupil?"_

 _I swallowed hard, attempting to compose myself in preparation for his words._

 _"Hathaway, Rose Hathaway_ "

_xXx_

I was still running, but my legs were beginning to slow down due to the fatigue.

I thought back to that moment I found out she had ran away. I felt devastated at first. Once again, I had it settled in my mind that I would talk to her and sort things out. Yes, she was a pupil, but I could not control the love I felt for her. I wanted to tell her that we could sort it all out.

But now she had ran away. Ran away from her problems. And in place of the devastation, anger took its place once more.

And I had been angry ever since, angry for not only her leaving but the way she left. Neither of us able to explain ourselves to each other.

I was calmer now though, the run had helped somewhat to clear my mind. I was still frustrated I couldn't do more to help and find Rose, but a small part of me felt like maybe the distance would be better for us….perhaps our love would fade for each other, I would have a chance to regain my professionalism and order back to my life.

I was coming to the end of my run, and my mind involuntarily wondered to something Ivanskov said to me, with that irksome smirk slapped on his face.

He knew that I had kissed Tasha. But how?! Yes I had been cold with Tasha since the kiss and hurt her quite a lot, but I didn't think she would retaliate by telling everyone about it just to spite me.

A thought developed in my head….maybe someone saw me.

And then, without any warning, a voice in the back of my head slammed into me, with such force it cause me to stumble and then stop dead in my tracks.

I knew who had seen me, I could feel that I was right, that there was no doubt it could be her that saw us kissing...

... _Roza_.


	9. Chapter 9: Powerless

_**Author's note.**_

 _So I finally brought myself to watch the trailer for the Vampire Academy film…._

 _And I wanted to ask you guys a few questions._

 _Firstly, was it just me or did they get Dimitri completely wrong? I mean, I know they're gonna struggle to get an exact replica of the character in the book, but he looked nothing like how I pictured him. I wasn't attracted to him in the slightest and was extremely disappointed. I wanted to know….is that just me?_

 _And I also noticed after looking at clips, that they didn't seem to follow the books. Which is a shame because they are amazing as they are. Am I being too critical, or does it suck as much as I reckon it does?_

 _Anyway, here's the next chapter._

 _Thank you for all of the reviews, especially the ones that encouraged me to write in my own way._

 _Please, please, please keep reviewing!_

 _Thanks,_

 _E xxx_

_xXx_

 **Chapter 9: Powerless**

I clutched my side, doubling over in pain with the blow the former dhampir strigoi had inflicted upon me.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, and positioned myself in an offensive stance.

That only caused the band of strigoi to laugh harder, I glanced down at myself. God only knows what they must've seen. I was filthy, soaking wet through, and shaking with the cold. I bet I looked pathetic.

Well, all the better for me to introduce the element of surprise, I chirped in my head, a wild laugh of my own escaping my lips, perhaps a little too deliriously.

I'm going bloody insane.

The biggest, and strongest looking of the men lunged for me first, he was fast and highly skilled, clearly the ex dhampir that had attacked me earlier. I leapt to the side and delivered a strong kick to his back, however, with the lack of sleep I'd had, and the fact that I'd not ate in...Jesus, over a day! I'd hardly ever gone that long without food before in my life! Well, my blow wasn't nearly as powerful as if hoped it had been. It was enough to make him stumble though, and I used that opening to punch him square in the jaw.

He launched himself at me again, the blow only momentarily stunning him, and knocked me to the ground. The air was knocked out of me, and I struggled to breathe.

I looked up at the strigoi who was fighting me. He leant over me, licking his lips in a severely heinous manner. I shuddered knowing what was going through his head. His eyes trailed the path of my body, and he ran his hand through his greasy black hair and licked his his lips.

He slowly started to lower himself over me, showing off his yellowing fangs. He was clearly enjoying this way too much, enjoying taunting me, knowing, or atleast thinking he knew, that I was powerless to resist him. Boy was he wrong. I was Rose Hathaway, and there's not a cat's chance in hell I was going down without a fight.

His red rimmed eyes bulged out of his head at that moment, because those few seconds he spent drooling over me gave me the perfect opportunity to deliver a swift kick to his manhood.

I reached in my pocket, fumbling for a stake….. _shit_.

I wasn't even a proper guardian yet. Of course I didn't have one. But still, this was stupid and reckless even for me. I guess Dimitri was right, I act impulsively without thinking, suffering the consequences later.

The other two guardians must've realised I was weaponless, and therefore, a much lesser threat than I posed earlier.

One of the strigoi, a former moroi, judging by his slight and lanky frame, commanded the bigger two to restrain me. I managed to deliver a blow to one of the strigoi, hitting him square in the gut. I focused my energy on him seeing as the other one was clearly checking to see if he had any balls left.

He quickly recovered and threw himself at me, once more making me fall flat in my back, I snaked my feet under his legs and with a swift motion, he too was on the ground. Deciding that I was useless against three strigoi with no weapons, I figured my best bet was to run for it.

I had only managed to get a few feet however, because, having found his balls, the first strigoi yanked my head backwards, gripping his hands in my hair.

I screamed out in pain as I felt a clump of it being yanked out.

He touched my hair. The bastard touched my fucking hair. He crossed a line with that one.

"You fucking BASTARD!!! I've fought moroi girls who fucking use their fists. What's the matter? Missed out on the 'How to kick ass like a man' class?"

I heard a deep, menacing snarl come from behind me, and I turned around only to receive a killer blow to my face. _Fuck_. Guess I kinda brought that one on myself.

*Mental note to Hathaway, learn to keep smartass comments to self when fighting huge raging strigoi.

The world was spinning now, and black stars danced across my vision. I closed my eyes, hoping to make it all go away. I staggered backwards, and was just about to hit the floor when a pair of strong arms caught me just in time. God how I wished they were Dimitri's. I opened my eyes and much to my dismay, a pair of sinister red ones bore into mine.

He held me upright, and the two strigoi I had been fighting with restrained me, holding my arms against my back. I attempted to maneuver my way out of the hold, but they merely gripped my arms harder, almost pulling them out of their sockets, and the strigoi on my right, ball-ache I called him, bent over me, and pressed his fangs against my exposed neck. He pressed then against my skin, not enough to draw blood, but enough for me to get the message: I move an inch and I'd have no chance.

I sighed as they then blindfolded and gagged me and dragged me into the back of a van.

Already a day and I had failed.

Two of the strigoi- both ex dhampir, sat in the front, as I identified the voice beside me being that if the ex Moroi.

I figured he was their leader. Which was extremely odd in itself.

Strigoi were such conceited and selfish creatures that they hardly ever cooperate together. After hearing a conversation of theirs, which referred to the others back at base, I figured that the group did not just restrict itself to these three strigoi. I moaned mentally, there must be loads more at this base. If I couldn't even fend off three, lord knows how I was gonna get my way out of where ever it was we were heading.

I could feel the icy breath of the creature I sat beside.

He had leaned into me, making the nausea I get with the presence of strigoi double in intensity. He nuzzled my neck, then licked along my jawline, trailing his tongue to my collarbone.

"Simply….delectable. We had high hopes when we saw a lone figure camping out under the bridge, but we never anticipated...such a delicious treat. Such beauty…" his hands wandered over my body, settling on the spot between my thighs. I tried to control it, but a small whimper escaped my lips, making him chuckle.

"Oh my, keep making noises like that and I won't be able to wait until we get back. Believe you me, I'm going to have my fun with you".

I willed myself to be anywhere but here, if he was going to do something to me, I was not gonna give him the satisfaction of getting another reaction out of me. With no idea where I was, and my sight and speech impaired, there was little point in sticking around giving the strigoi the reaction he needed to go ahead with whatever he wanted to do to me.

And with that, my mind forced me into Lissa's.

 _She was sitting having lunch in the cafeteria. She had picked a chicken salad and orange. Pfft. I may be envious of her freedom right now, but I did not envy her food choices. Now Christian, on the other hand, was a different matter. He was currently munching through a chocolate donut. My mouth involuntarily watered as he brought it to his mouth and took a small chunk out if it._

 _With an exhausted sigh, he gave up and threw the other half back on his tray and pushed it away. My heart literally broke in two seeing him waste something as precious as that._

 _"Damn, don't know how Rose puts them away. She can eat ten at a time and I'm struggling with one. I feel like a pig having ate that." The others began snickering, "Shhh one second, You hear that? I can literally hear the sound of my arteries clogging. I reckon I just shortened my life span by a year or so. I give her five, ten years left top."_

 _Eddie and Mia laughed, but Lissa whimpered. Talking about my death, even though he was clearly joking, was still too much of a touchy topic for her. Eddie noticed her sudden mood change, and attempted to ease her mind._

 _"Liss, listen, if anybody is gonna make it by themselves, it's gonna be Rose, I saw her in Spokane, she was incredible. Don't get me wrong, I'm worried for her too, after losing Mason, I don't want to lose another close friend. But there's nothing we can do. All the leads dried up, and we're stuck in here."_

 _Mia backed him up. "Lissa, we all want her back here and safe, but I'm sure she'll miss all of this too much, all of us too much. You know she'll come back soon, you two have barely spent any time separated from each other, and I doubt she could cope with the distance. Just give her time, like Eddie said, we are powerless to do anything. Don't stress yourself out when there's nothing you can do."_

 _Lissa stood up suddenly, I could feel the rage shoot through her body._

 _"That's just it! You've all given up, it's been a day and none of you give a damn! How can you all just sit here and not worry about her! She could be dead now and we wouldn't know! You" she pointed her finger at them all, hand trembling and eyes narrowing, "should all be ashamed of yourselves, if the roles were reversed, you know she wouldn't give up searching for us!"_

 _And with that, she ran off, leaving the three of them sitting there gobsmacked. How could such an outburst come from such a small person?_

 _She ran as far as she could, but being a Moroi, and a weak one at that, she didn't get very far, and collapsed on a bench at the side of the academy._

 _She looked around her._

 _It was a beautiful day, the moon cast a silver shimmer on everything. She loved nature, and she wished she was on the run with me at that point, so they could go wherever they wanted, and experience all the beauty that the world had to offer. But as of such, she had to make do with the little garden she sat in._

 _It was beautiful itself, in a simple sort of way. The trees stood tall, and with it being currently autumn, all of the colourful and vibrant leaves danced in the cool breeze. Flowers had been planted around the garden, and despite the cold weather settling in, they were still in full bloom from the summer. Next to her, there was a deep pink rose bush. She smiled at herself, remembering the time a male classmate thought the romantic gesture of giving me a bunch of roses was enough to get into my pants…..up until the point where I punched him._

 _That's what she loved about me. I did whatever I wanted. Where I saw myself as reckless, she saw courage, where I saw a lack of self control, she saw strength, where I saw anger, she saw love. She loved me, and it was tearing her apart that not only had I ran away, but I didn't take her with me._

 _Guilt began to eat away at me then. I had hoped she would see that I was doing this for her, so she could lead a normal royal life, and not be tied down to someone as wild as me. Reputation was everything in the royal world, and I didn't want to ruin hers._

 _But I should've known better than to think Lissa would care about that more than me._

 _She had closed her eyes and leant her head back against the bench, her long blonde hair blowing in the breeze._

 _"Hey" a voice sounded next to her. She opened her eyes and sighed._

 _"What do you want Christian?" She said impatiently._

 _"Liss, something's up with you, and more than just Rose running away._

 _I get you're worried about her, we all are. You're mistaken if you think that we all don't, it's just that she's not been gone that long. Give it another couple of days, and I'm sure people will begin to panic. They probably think she's ran away to get some space, some air. Like they said, we doubt she'll stay away from you for so long._

 _I think on some level, you know that. "_

 _Lissa sighed. She guess on some level, she didn't really think that I would leave without saying anything. But she had snapped at me, and was worried that I wouldn't think she cared._

 _"I can't help but worry about her. I know she's strong, but I hate the thought of her being alone, albeit for a short time."_

 _Christian wrapped his arms around he, resting his head on top of hers._

 _"You are such a good person Lissa, it's one of the reasons I love you._

 _But you're also stubborn, and I hate that there is something you're not telling me."_

 _She remained silent. She didn't want to get into an argument just now, she wanted to just stop thinking and let herself stay in his arms._

 _"God almighty, you can be just as stubborn as Rose."_

 _Lissa's head snapped up. She began yelling at him. "What's the deal with Rose at the moment, hardly a word is spoken without you mentioning her! You used to always get at each other's throats, and now all of a sudden it's like she's always on your mind!"_

 _He looked taken aback and is permanent cocky demeanour vanished completely._

 _"What the hell are you implying?!"_

 _"You think that Rose and I……"_

 _His eyes widened, and he burst out in a fit of laughter, he fell off the bench and began rolling on the floor. After a couple of minutes he recovered, and sat back next to her._

 _She didn't say anything, hearing his reaction, and saying it out loud...it really did seem ludicrous, and slowly, her own smile crept upon her face, before she couldn't hold it back any longer, and joined in his laughter._

 _After they both calmed down, he grabbed her hands, and without saying anything, leant in and kissed her. It was a slow kiss at first, but quickly became intense and passionate, showing the overpowering hunger and lust they felt for each other._

 _She loved the way his lips felt on hers, and the way he kissed her with such passion and intensity._

 _She knew she loved him, and that he loved her, but a part of her mind needed to ask him anyway._

 _She pulled away and without looking away, pulled the picture out of her jean's pocket, and showed it to him, asking "What is this?"_

 _His brow furrowed for a few moments, but then a look of recognition spread across his face. He lowered his gaze, and his pale cheeks flushed._

 _"Goddamnit Christian, don't tell me there is something going on!"_

 _His eyes widened and he began to stammer, "w..what?! Of course not. It's not like that at all! It's just…" he bit his lip. He promised me he wouldn't tell her he knew. But she had been so hysterical and upset. She had just lost her best friend, she couldn't lose her boyfriend too._

 _I knew that he knew I would understand that he had to tell her._

 _"Liss, I ...I didn't want to tell you this, she asked me not to. So please don't overreact and make this harder than it needs to be." I could feel her heart beat speed up considerably, she had no idea what was going on, but from the tone of his voice, she didn't like what ever it was._

 _"Rose bumped into me the night she left. She told me I had to listen to her, and when I tried to shove her off me, she pinned me down, forcing me to hear her out. Hence the photos. Gotta give whoever the bastard is that took the photos credit, some good timing on their part._

 _Anyway, she told me that she was leaving…." He was interrupted with a slap to his face, he looked up and saw Lissa's face flushed with anger._

 _"She did what?! You knew she wanted to leave and never told me! I could've stopped her! Why….why didn't she come to me?" She whispered that last part, and broke down in a fit of sobs._

 _He put his arm around her and brought her to his chest. "Because she knew you'd never let her go. She wanted me to look after you…. You've not been yourself Liss. She wanted me to look after you, and said it was for the best for her to go away. I promise I don't know where she's gone. But as much as Rose annoys the hell out of me, I trust her. She said if I loved you, I would do this for her, and Lissa, my angel, I love you with all my heart. That's why I didn't tell you. Please don't be mad at me, and please, more than anything, don't be mad at Rose."_

 _I was more than a little touched at Sparky's speech. He really did seem to trust me. I suppose we went through a lot in Spokane, and after that, an unspoken friendship grew, though neither of us would admit it._

 _Lissa sat there stunned. She couldn't figure out why it was better that I moved away. She wished, much to my dismay, that I still could've talked to her. She felt guilty that she was the reason I ran away. Christian seemed to realise this, and hugged her tightly._

 _"No, my love. You must never think that. She ran away because she needed to then. You're not the reason she ran away, and if anything, you're the reason she'll be coming back. And I know she will." He looked in her eyes then, but it felt like he was looking into mine. I got the message. He wanted me to know, if I was in Lissa's head, that I'd better hurry back soon._

 _Believe you me, I wish I was there instead of here right now._

 _They stayed there in the embrace for a few minutes, when they heard someone clearing their throat. They looked up, and much to their, and my surprise, there stood Dimitri._

 _"Princess, Mr Ozera" he said, nodding at both of them respectively._

 _"I appreciate that this is your private time, but I am enquiring to hear if you've heard anything from Miss Hathaway?" His face remained the picture of a perfect guardian mask, but I could see traces of worry in his eyes._

 _Lissa replied. "Please, call me Lissa. And no, we've not heard anything yet." Her voice was laced with sadness, and it was at that point I realised that my disappearance had caused greater pain than I expected or wanted._

 _"I see, please keep me updated if you hear anything."_

 _He looked defeated, like a crushed man. Despite him having kissed Tasha, and yeah, I was still kinda pissed about that, I knew he cares for me, I could see it on his face now._

 _I wanted so much to be able to comfort them all now. I would've given anything to be with them, hold them all again, and let them know how much I love them. I hated that Lissa felt guilty over me, that Christian had had to lie, and that Dimitri and I never had a chance to give in to each other._

 _The need and desire to be there with them was so strong, that it consumed me. I suddenly felt my whole being snap into Lissa's body._

 _I was there, in her. Not just my mind, every part of me._

 _"Well fuck me!" I exclaimed._

 _I looked up to see Dimitri staring at me with those gorgeous deep, brown eyes in awe and disbelief..._

 _"...Roza?"_


	10. Chapter 10: Mind Games

_**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!**_

 _ **And no one answered my questions! :(**_

 _ **Would love to know what you think about Dimitri in the film!**_

 _ **Anyway, here's the next chapter, let me know what you guys think.**_

 _ **and shout out to 'lovesmesomedanillalol'. Your reviewing has spurred me on loads!**_

 **Chapter 10: Mind games**

"...Roza?"

My head shot up, and I began starring wildly at him. How was this even possible?!

I still looked like Lissa, and yet...I had total control of her body.

I tried to lift her left arm as if it was my own….. check.

I ran a hand through my hair. It was blonde and silky smooth, unlike my unruly curls...but I still felt the sensation….check.

I lifted my right hand and bit it as hard as I could….. "fucking hell! Guess that's a check".

Christian looked at me like I was completely insane.

"Rose….what the fuck are you doing?! How are you even….where the hell is Lissa?! "

A voice sounded in my head "right here, doofus."

"Woah…." I exclaimed. Did I just hear her in my ...no her head? Man this was confusing.

"What?" Sparky asked me, huh, guess I was the only one who could hear Lissa.

I checked out my new body. Wow. So this is what it feels like to be tall and skinny. Weird. I grabbed my boobs and ass, except there was hardly anything there. " _Hey_! I can hear everything you're thinking you know?"

Lissa yelled in my head. Shit, better keep a better hold of my thoughts.

I Wonder how strong Lissa is.

With that thought, I drew back my wrist, and punched the closest thing to me... which just so happened to be Dimitri.

"Fucking hell Comrade, chest of bloody steel. And Lissa, seriously, you need to desperately start working out, you punch like a little girl."

I held my wrist to me, several curse words escaping my mouth. Dimitri hadn't even flinched. Man, Lissa was weak. I think I just broke her hand.

"What the hell Rose?!" Christian yelled.

I looked up from the contorted mess that was Lissa's hand into Dimitri's eyes, his face was expressionless. I started to panic thinking he had gone into a state of shock.

"Comrade?" I asked him. I didn't really know what to say, this was pretty weird for me too.

He just continued staring, and then, once he appeared to recover from the shock, replied with a gruff voice, "Miss Hathaway?"

I rolled my eyes. God, how the hell was he still such an upright dick?

"Rose! You can't think that! He's your mentor!" Lissa's voice chastised me.

Pfft, if only she knew the half of it.

"Half of what?" She replied.

"For god's sakes, stop doing that!" I mentally shouted back.

"What the hell is even going on anyway Liss?".

"How the hell am I supposed to know! This is weird for me too, it's just like I can see through your eyes. Is this what it's like for you?"

I thought about it and replied. "I guess it sort of is in a way. Like I can see through your eyes, but I can't move or do anything. But this….this is something completely knew."

Christian cleared his throat and interrupted our thoughts.

"Rose, what the hell happened. Where's Lissa?! What if she….what if she doesn't come back?! What if you're stuck in her?! What if….OUCH! For god's sakes! What is it with everyone slapping me recently?!" Christian reeled, rubbing the sore red patch on his cheek.

"Get a grip of yourself Christian. God, pair of soft little girls the pair of you."

" _Hey_!" Christian and Lissa yelled, in perfect synchronisation.

"Relax Chris, I can still hear Lissa. She can see through my eyes, kinda like I do when I slip into her head."

"How the fuck did this happen? She's not stuck in there is she?" He groaned overdramatically.

"What sort of sick torture Is this? Lissa's smoking hot body, disguising Roses annoying as hell personality. It's like the good Lord is smiting me personally."

"You never know Chris" I winked at him "I might add a bit of spice to the bedroom".

That gave the response of extreme gagging noises from the pair off them, and I laughed heartily.

" _ **Enough**_!"

All three of us stopped suddenly. I turned around to see Dimitri staring intensely at me. I guess he had recovered from his shock.

"Rose is missing, we have no time for this." His deep voice boomed. Not one of us dared to make a noise. Dimitri was scary as hell when he went all serious. Sexy, but scary as hell.

He took a step forward closer to me, and grabbed me by the shoulders. I could tell the fact that I looked like Lissa made him extremely uncomfortable, and as such, he treated me with hesitation and caution.

"We have no time for games. Yes this is new, and yes we don't know how or why it happened. Maybe we can figure that out later. But we must use this occurrence to our advantage, and found out where she is."

He looked into my eyes, and I, in turn, had no choice but to look at his. They were so beautiful, so dark and deep and soulful. Except now...now he had his guard up. And I had no idea what he feelings he was concealing behind his mask. Was he compunctious, for his kiss with Tasha? Or had he finally moved on, decided that I was too childish and hard work after all? Or, and my heart dared to hope at this last one, did he really care about me, and was truly concerned for my well-being and whereabouts?

My thoughts were interrupted by an unwelcome voice.

"...Rose...is there…..JESUS! I KNEW it!!! There's something going on between you and Belikov!!!! Eeeek! Oh my god! Wait…..why didn't you tell me this! I thought we told each other everything?!"

Ah shit. She was mad.

"Damn straight I'm mad Rose, I have every right to be!"

"Liss, we'll talk about this another time! This is too much to take in all at once!"

"But Rose, you're my best friend! Hell, you're my sister! How could you keep something as major as this from me?!"

"Lissa, I said not now!" I shouted mentally. God this was annoying.

Dimitri put his hands on either side of my face. Oblivious to the argument Lissa and I had just had.

"Roza, tell us where you are. I need you here" he must've noticed my reaction to hearing him say this, and I must confess, my heart did a little flutter at hearing him say he needed me, because he soon corrected himself, clearing his throat and adding " we need you here, to know that you're safe. It doesn't bode well for my reputation that my student has ran off". I rolled my eyes of course it was too good to be true. How stupid of me to think that just because I was missing, he'd come running to me, begging for my forgiveness.

"Don't pretend like you give a rat's ass Comrade. I'm sure you'll find another student you can mentor, after all, it's not like you've had any difficulty moving on so far". I gave a him a pointed look, and judging by the way he slightly flinched, I knew he got just what I meant.

He sighed, and I thought I could see a flicker off….regret...guilt? In his eyes.

He looked at me, seemingly piercing into my soul with those chocolate eyes, and I thought he was subtlety trying to convey his emotions to me without raising any suspicion on Christian's part.

"Rose, I… I do miss you. I need to know that you're safe. It's driving us all crazy that you just left us, not telling us your problems, so you felt the only option was to run away from them.

.Roza...I do care, and don't you dare try to tell me how I feel.

You have no idea how much I…."

"Eeek! Oh my God! He's gonna tell you he loves you! Oh my God, oh my God!!!!" Lissa squealed excitedly, much to my frustration.

"For god's sakes!!! You're kinda killing the moment here!" I shouted back. Only to realise, much to my embarrassment, that I said it aloud.

Dimitri looked shocked, and then slowly the look turned to one of confusion….

And with that, any smouldering tension we had had whilst our eyes locked and any words Dimitri found himself saying, lost in the moment, vanished.

He jumped back, and much to my disappointment, returned back to his stoic self.

"Godamnit Liss!" I yelled.

"Oops...sorry" she whispered sheepishly.

He took a moment to recover himself, and just like that, the caring, loving man that I adored disappeared.

He continued, but this time, his voice was much colder.

"Tell us where you are Miss Hathaway."

"God, how the hell can someone change just like that, it's like he's bipolar! What a cold bastard!" Lissa cried in my head.

"Tell me about it" I muttered.

"Rose, tell us now!" His voice sounded harsh and and frustrated, but it acted like a bucket of cold water splashed over me, because I quickly came out of my trance, and the memories of the kidnapping and the three strigoi came flooding back to me.

My eyes began to water, I didn't want to tell them, it was incredibly embarrassing that I had failed on the first day of being on the run. But it was either suck it up, or face bring Strigoi fodder.

"I...I...oh God! They've taken me! They've taken me! He's touching me, and I can't move, I can't escape. He's got his hands all over me. And there's more...they're taking me to more…" I began rambling incoherently. Desperately trying to relay everything at once, and as of such, my words came out in a mess.

"Rose, Roza! What do you mean?!" Dimitri shook my shoulders violently.

I could see the panic flash in his eyes, his voice thick with worry.

"Three strigoi….they kidnapped me….they fought me, and they shoved me in the back of a van. But they've blindfolded and gagged me, and I can't move. The leader…" I shuddered, a movement which did not escape Dimitri's observant eyes.

"What did he do Rose, did he touch you?! I swear to God!" He began shouting something in Russian, all trace of his guardian mask dissolved, and his concern, and love for me, took over.

"He's touching me, he's got his hands between my thighs, he said he was….he said he was going to have his fun with me….so that's how I ended up here...I wanted to escape it so badly...I wanted to be with you guys and feel safe. I didn't want to feel...didn't want to feel what he was going to do to me." I began choking up at that last part. And Dimitri actually wrapped his arms around me.

" _Oh Roza_...God help me when I get my hands on them…"

"Where are you going, do you know any information that could help us. Where did you end up when you ran away?"

His voice sounded strained, like he was struggling to keep his anger and emotion under control.

His arms shook as he held me. And I wished to god I could just stay there, enveloped in his strong arms, the smell of his cologne wrapping around me.

"Roza...it's important you tell us. I know it's hard for you, but we can't find you unless you give us some information to go off".

I swallowed hard, and reluctantly brought myself out of the comforting bubble I had allowed myself to pretend I was in for just a few seconds.

"I don't know where I was… I was at a Diner...something about red….. oh yes! "Red checkers" it was called, or something like that. And I just ran, and I ended up under a huge bridge. I don't know much more than that, because that's where they took me.

They said they were taking me to more. There's a huge group of them, all working together and they… " I was cut off, I could feel myself pulling away, back into my own body. My eyes widened, and I started screaming….

"NOOOOO!!!! Don't let them take me…..don't let them take me……. PLEASE….. PLEASE HELP ME!!!! DIMITRI!!! DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME!!"

But it was too late, I was ripped from them violently. The last image replaying in my mind….

...Dimitri's eyes watering with unshed tears, his beautiful face contorted in pure panic and pain, as he screamed for me to stay with him, begging over and over again.

I savoured that image, even though his face was one of misery and heartbreak, because I knew it was probably the last time I would ever see it again.

 **_xXx_**

I was still blindfolded and gagged, but I noticed the voice next to me was that of a different strigoi…

"... So much difficulty keeping your hands to yourself."

The ex Moroi replied in a querulous voice:

"It was just a bit of fun, and besides, how was anyone going to know? You're both pathetic, following him so readily. A pair of fucking little dogs, trailing behind him everywhere.Surprising your leashes have aloud you to travel out so far. We should've had our fun with her whilst we could."

Huh, so I guess he didn't get that far with me, much to my relief. My body didn't feel any different, so I knew the other strigoi must've intercepted pretty early on.

The first strigoi, who was becoming more and more impatient growled at him, "The boss wants you to keep her in good condition. How else are we supposed to get a good price for her?"

Get a good price for her? Oh shit this wasn't looking good. It sounded like some sort of prostitution/ trafficking scheme.

And 'the boss'? That meant...he wasn't even the leader, there was another strigoi orchestrating all of this.

This was sounding worse and worse by the minute.

The other one scoffed, "Sure she's hot, but I doubt she's a virgin, she was practically gagging for it when I was on her earlier, the little slut won't be worth half as much as you think."

I felt anger rising up, replacing the fear I had. There was no way I was gonna go down without a fight in this place. I didn't even care if the only thing I managed was killing him.

Their conversation was interrupted by the strigoi driving. He came to a stop, and told us we'd arrived.

The van doors were yanked open.

Time to face the music.


	11. Chapter 11: Trapped

Author's note:

 _Thank_ _you so, so, so, so much for all of your reviews! I loved writing that chapter, my favourite by far! And it's awesome that you guys take the time to let me know what you think._

 _I have been overwhelmed by the amount of reviews I've had recently, and now I've got 50! I know it's not a lot in comparison to other stories, but it is for me! So thank you!_

 _As a thankyou, I wanted to make this chapter a bit longer, and have included Lissa's perspective as requested by one of the reviewers._

 _If you have requests, I will make sure to consider them!_

 _And thank you for the comments about film Dimitri. I have to agree with Rozabelikov though, he doesn't do it for me!_

 _PLEEEEAAASSEEE REVIEWWWW!!! This chapter took me ages and I would really appreciate them!_

 _Thanks,_

 _E XXX_

 **_xXx_**

 **LPOV**

…."Guardian Belikov?" I whispered awkwardly.

He still had his arms around me, begging for her to come back to us. A part of me didn't want to pull him off me. The feeling of his hard, well-sculpted muscles against my body, and his strong scented cologne was rather intoxicating. And if I was gonna have a man draping himself all over me, it might as well be a Russian God.

Christian cleared his throat, and I jumped away from Dimitri, perhaps a little too harshly.

I sheepishly glanced at Christian, feeling myself flush a hideous scarlet colour. Of course I still loved him, and found him the most attractive man I'd ever met, but a woman can appreciate a good looking man when she saw one, right?

It took me a while to adjust to my body again, realising my lust over Dimitri was in part due to the emotions belonging to Rose steadily leaving my body. My mind still felt a little foggy, like it was struggling to connect with my body.

It took a few minutes, but I soon settled back into myself, when I suddenly remembered what Rose had told us.

"Rose!" I gasped.

Dimitri looked like he was about to collapse when he realised I was back in my body.

"She's gone"

It wasn't so much of a question, but more of a statement, and I could tell he didn't just mean she was gone at present…. He thought he had lost her forever.

"No, she's not gone. We have to believe she's still alive." Christian said, much to my surprise. Christian was hardly the optimist.

Neither Dimitri nor I said anything. We both daren't get our hopes up. We all sat there in silence for what felt like hours.

We had so little to go off, and once again, I cursed the stupid one way bond.

To think what Rose was going through, and there was so little I could do to help her. I hated this, this feeling of being so useless. Rose always knew how to protect me, and I couldn't do the same for her.

I started to cry, and I hated myself even more. I was so weak, so pathetic. I wanted so badly to be strong like Rose. But sometimes, I gave in to the overbearing dark thoughts that lurk at the back of my mind. The thoughts that tell me I don't deserve to live, that people would be better off without me, that I am useless and worthless.

And right now... those thoughts were consuming me… and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, the words "useless" and "worthless" kept replaying in my mind.

I had these waves come over me, like it built up over time. And nothing I could do could stop them from consuming me…..except sometimes….sometimes it just disappears suddenly.

And just now….it did just that. The depression drained from me, and I felt myself return back to my former self. I had no idea how it disappeared.

As much as I wanted to know how or what I did to make it go away, I needed to put my now clear and sharp mind to use. I would not be that little helpless girl that voice tells me I am.

We had wasted so much time already just sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves, that I decided to take charge.

I took Christian's hand and looked at him with what I hoped was a fierce, brave look that disguised the fear I felt inside.

"Christian is right. She's not gone. I would feel it. I've known Rose all my life, and she is a fighter. We just have to get to her before her strength to keep on fighting dwindles." I tried to keep my voice strong, not only trying to convince myself, but Dimitri also, that she would be okay.

I looked over at him now, and the broken, lost and helpless man I had witnessed ealier was gone. He too had a look of resolve on his face, and his Guardian mask was slipped back in place.

I could see though, after looking at him through Rose's eyes, that he could not disguise his love for her, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. I was still shocked, and somewhat hurt that she hadn't trusted me enough to tell me, but right now, my priorities lay elsewhere.

"First things first, we get Adrian. We need to attempt to make contact with her again, and at least know the details of her well being and whereabouts" I could've sworn I saw Dimitri grimace at the mention of his name.

"I'll go ahead and look for him" Christian responded, and made off to find him, no doubt in his room with one of his many vices to keep him company.

I looked after him, in awe. Despite everything he had gone through, the incidence with his parents and Spokane to name a couple, he came out of it all stronger. It's what I loved and admired about him, he was my strength.

My drooling over him was interrupted, and the little light moment I had allowed myself to feel was enough to raise my spirits. Dimitri's deep voice sounded out.

"I will go and gather a team of guardians, but I must warn you Princess, that no matter how hard I try, I cannot convince them to join this mission." he kept his face blank, and voice monotonous and emotionless, and started off in the direction of the Guardians' main office.

I trailed behind him, struggling to keep up with the strides of his long athletic legs.

I caught up to him panting, and felt a very Rose-esque devilish grin etch upon my face.

"Perhaps….you need a little assistance in convincing them to participate?" I smirked.

He merely raised his eyebrows, and hesitated for a couple of seconds. He was a man of principle, anyone knew that, and it made me question how two people so unlike each other in that way, could have ever have fallen in love. He clearly took his job so seriously, and no doubt followed the rule book to a tee, the complete opposite to wild and unpredictable Rose.

Although they do say opposites attract

After these few short seconds of debate with himself, he nodded at me and replied "Very well Princess Dragomir, I wouldn't usually condone using compulsion, but the situation is of such that I deem it the necessary and appropriate course of action to take."

My God, the constant formality was beginning to irk even me, and I couldn't help but question why Rose would fall for such a serious and straight laced guy. I always pictured her with someone fun and easy going like her.

Had it not been for the short few moments I spent in her mind, and the way that I felt her emotions and love for him, and then seeing the hurt and love in his eyes as she was ripped away, then I would've found it seriously hard to believe.

I touched his arm, and tried to squeeze it reassuringly. I stopped us in the middle of the path, the night sky beginning to brighten as dawn began to creep in.

"I know about the two of you, I was in her mind after all. She loves you, she loves you with all of her heart. And I know by the way that you looked at her, you reciprocate those feelings." He opened his mouth, no doubt attempting to tell me he had no idea what I was on about, "Princess, I'm afraid that my feelings for Rose run on a purely professional lev…."

"Dimitri. Stop!" He looked at me, momentarily stunned by my outburst. I couldn't believe that with everything going on, he still had the audacity to lie to me. "There's no use in lying, I told you, I was in her mind.

And if you're worried I will tell anyone, then you have severely misjudged me. I am not the type to go gossiping about such trivial matters, especially when I have so much more to worry about right now."

He composed himself once more. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I could see the defeat at trying to pretend to me in his eyes.

"You're right Princess. Please understand that I did not mean to offend or question your character, you have been a wonderful friend to Rose, and I don't doubt that you are a good person. Please forgive me. You must understand that with me being her mentor it puts everything in a …… less than ideal position. And it is thus easier to pretend not only to myself, but to others that my feelings for her are nothing more than professional concern. And you are also right...we do have so much more to worry about right now."

We continued onwards to the building, and just before I entered the room, I stopped at the doorway as he held the door open for me. I'll give Rose credit, he was not only hot, but also quite the gentleman.

I looked at him, and hoped that he acknowledged the sincerity in my eyes.

"We'll get her back. The equilibrium in the world would be unbalanced without her level of crazy to level it out."

A trace of a smile graced his lips, but it did not reach his eyes. They held too much sorrow and loss in them at this moment.

"Thank you Princess." He said.

I started to walk into the room, and called out to him, "Oh and Dimitri?" He looked at me, and nodded for me to continue.

I glanced back over my shoulder and smiled at him,

"Call me Lissa."

 **_xXx_**

 **RPOV**

I tried to not to scream. I didn't want to show them any sign of weakness.

I knew they got off on it, and although I didn't have high hopes for escaping anytime soon, I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of hearing me give in to my pain.

He continued dragging me by the hair. The pain was immense, having been bound up my arms and legs, and still being blindfolded, there was nothing I could do to stop it. They had removed my gag, with the intention of listening to me scream.

They dragged me for what felt like an eternity, and finally dropped me on the hard, stone floor.

My blindfold was removed, and I was greeted to the sight of strigoi. And lots of them. I quickly scanned the room, there must've been over fifty here.

But then I looked closely, and noticed that at least half of them were not what they had first appeared to be.

With a gasp, I came to a realisation that there were not only strigoi present, but humans and Moroi too.

I could understand why humans would cooperate with the undead….the lure of super strength and immortality was a powerful one indeed, and it was not unheard of for humans to work for Strigoi with the hope of being turned.

But Moroi…. That was a different matter.

Any Moroi and dhampir had been brought up in a world that loathed everything the Strigoi stood for.

We lived our lives in fear of them, and would avoid them at all costs.

I continued to assess my surroundings, I appeared to be in grand, opulent room. It was clearly a rundown building, and hadn't been occupied or maintained for years, but it still held its grandeur and impressive build well.

It looked quite like an old palace room actually, with its high ceilings and intricate, though dusty paintings adorning the walls.

I looked for possible exits, but every single inch of the place was crawling with the Strigoi and their associates.

My attention was brought elsewhere though, as a menacing voice called out from above me.

"My oh my. What have we here?"

I shot my head up to the direction where the voice was coming from.

The creature in front of me sat lazily slumped on his throne, one leg draped over the arm of the chair.

God almighty, he actually gave himself a throne.

He had grey-black hair, that was slicked back against his ageing face. He looked to be a former dhampir, and I could see he must've been quite handsome in his former life, with his square jaw, deep blue eyes and strong build.

He sat up when he saw my face, and began chucking to himself.

"Well done my boys! It appears you have excelled yourselves! What a pretty thing we have here! Wherever did you find such a devastatingly enchanting creature?"

His eyes trailed over my body, and I failed to conceal the shiver that rippled through my body in disgust.

A voice I recognised, belonging to ball ache, replied compliantly,

"We found her under a bridge sir, by the forest area. She was by herself."

This caused the Strigoi to laugh harder.

"By herself?! She was by her own?! My god this was too easy! It's like she wanted to be found by us!"

The strigoi who had captured me replied,

"Actually sir, it appears this one thinks she can take care of herself. She put up one hell of a fight, I've never seen a girl, dhampir or not, show such bravado and strength.

Naturally though, she was no match for the three of us. As I said earlier, she thinks she is stronger than she actually is. It was quite pathetic how easy it was for us to overpower her." I chanced a look at ballache then, who had an amused and incredibly smug expression on his face.

That did it, I could no longer keep my mouth shut and hold back the snarky comments.

"Didn't seem to think it was that easy when I had your ass on the floor within seconds. Tell me, have you regained the sensation in your balls yet? I'd say give up any hopes of having sex in the future, but let's face it, with a face like that, it's not as if that's likely to happen any time soon, is it?"

His pale face turned a violent purple colour, and he leapt out about to pounce on me. Once more, I couldn't restrain the comment that escaped my lips.

"Oops, hit a sore spot did we? Take it you've not been getting any regardless? " that seemed to spur him on, and he would've been on me in seconds had he not been restrained by a couple of other Strigoi.

The boss laughed out loud wildly, clapping his hands, clearly delighted with the scene before him.

"My word, what a brilliant catch you have made today! Such beauty and fierceness. That fiery nature in a woman is so sexy and attractive you know?

It seems a shame to let go of her, I'm very tempted to keep her to myself."

He called out to two strigoi.

"Kyle, Ben, take off those chains. It's time we saw her in the flesh."

My eyes widened as I realised what he meant. I started yelling and screaming at them when the two strigoi took off my chains, and quickly began ripping off my clothing.

I struggled against them, thrashed as their hands roamed my body, grabbing parts of me roughly, but it was no use.

They were too strong for me.

And so there I was, stripped in the centre of the room, what felt like a thousand eyes leering on my vulnerable, exposed body.

I felt so cheap and disgusting, the feeling intensifying with every second those eyes bore into me.

Every single nerve in my body screamed at me to run, but my body wouldn't cooperate, I was paralysed in fear and embarrassment.

"Breathtaking. Truly breathtaking." The boss sighed, and I wish to God I had the strength to move.

"Time to test the merchandise, I don't know if we can sell her just yet, I can see quite a few of your Moroi contacts being interested in this one, but I am not sure I am ready to part with her yet.

Take her down to the dungeon, with the other girls, I have some matters to attend to, but I expect my bed chambers to be prepared for me when I am ready."

I was hauled to my feet, and with a strigoi on either side of me, forced down a spiraling stone stair case.

When we entered the room, there were several cells each holding different women. It appeared they had been sectioned off according to Moroi, human and dhampir types. There was also a fourth cell that appeared to have a mixture of all three. And the girls there….they looked like zombies.

There were hundreds of girls down here, all inhumanely squashed within their small confines, and I was forced into the least crowded one: dhampir.

I guessed human and Moroi were easier targets, so the reaction of the strigoi when they had captured me made sense….there were half as many of us in here…. We must be a rare find.

I looked around in my cell, there must've been about twenty other dhampirs, all young and, despite their emancipated and sick appearances, still rather pretty.

None of them so much as glanced up at me when I was thrown in there, they all seemed to be spaced out and generally out of it.

Almost as if they were all…..

 **High**. _Shit._

I looked at them more closely, and noticed they all had one thing in common….bite marks.

Seth's words came back to me…

"Test the merchandise." _Holy crap,_ that's what he meant. When he commanded the others to prepare the bed chambers, it meant he was going to see what I had to offer. There was no way I was going to let the filthy bastard go near me. I needed to find a way out of here; _fast_.

Just then the cell door opened, and a Moroi, ostentatiously dressed in a black, shiny suit, was shown in with two strigoi guards.

The Moroi looked around at us, surveying what was on offer.

His eyes stopped when they settled on me.

"That one." His hand, covered in jewels, stretched out and he pointed directly at me. It took every ounce of self control to stop me from running up to him and tearing off his finger, and other bodily parts, off with my bare teeth.

A guard shook his head at him. "I'm afraid the boss needs to test her first. He then must assess what he does with her, but please, all of the others are available, and of course we have humans and Moroi on offer too."

The Moroi wrinkled his nose in disgust, "you mean to say that every one of these girls here have already been tainted by Seth? Don't tell me the rest of you disgusting creatures have your hands all over them too." Seth? Must be the boss's name.

The strigoi, who was clearly getting pissed off more and more by the second hissed at him and gestured to the cell with the mixed girls in.

"That one, to your right. That is the one we have access too, and Seth likes to try all the girls here. After all, he doesn't want to sell dodgy products does he?"

The Moroi sighed and gestured to me again. "How long must I wait for that one? She is by far the best looking here, and doesn't look like she's missed a meal in the past week. I want that figure, I like a woman with curves, I want her."

Huh. If I wasn't mistaken, the dirty arse was calling me fat now. My anger flared up once more, and I swear to God I would've broken his neck right there and then if the guard hadn't lost his temper as well.

He slammed the Moroi up against the wall, causing not only the man to scream, but several of the girls too.

"Listen to me you little scumbag. That. One. Is. Not. For. Sale.

I suggest you hurry up and pick one before I decide I want to try some different cuisine tonight, and shut your whining flytrap myself."

All signs of the smug demeanour drained from the Moroi's face, as he remembered who he was dealing with.

"Y..y..yes, fine! Just get your hands off me! I'm sure Seth wouldn't be pleased to know how you treat your customers!" His words sounded odd coming out of his mouth, because whilst the meaning held so much bravado, his voice was weak and trembling with fear. The Strigoi growled at him and reluctantly dropped him to the floor. The Moroi collected himself and looked around the room, stopping only to scowl at me, then finally picked a tall, dark haired girl on the opposite side of the room.

The girl screamed as the Strigoi dragged her out of the room, the Moroi smugly and excitedly trailing behind them.

The cell door closed, and when I heard the footsteps and the girl's screams fade into the distance, I couldn't help but exclaim loudly.

"What the FUCK was that?! Why didn't anyone stop them?! Why haven't you all tried to escape?! There's hundreds of girls here, surely enough to at least put up a decent fight?!"

All of the girls remained silent and I began shouting once more, "Seriously?! Come on, you must have…"

My words were cut off by a very pretty blonde dhampir to my left. She spoke with a detached, emotionless voice that sounded defeated and exhausted.

"There's nothing we can do. You think we're all stuck in here by choice? If we could've helped it, we'd all be far away from here now.

And why didn't we help her? See those girls there?" She pointed to the cell with mixed girls in and I nodded, "There where you end up. Either if you disobey or if no one takes interest in you after a while. That cell there is not for sale. It's for the Strigoi and Moroi working here to entertain themselves with and do as they please with them."

I stared at the girls in there. The majority of the girls didn't have the strength to stand up, bruises and bite marks covered every inch of their bodies, and the look in their eyes….it was haunting.

I began to think there was no way out of this. Every single girl in here was crushed and lifeless. I felt an overwhelming sense of despair wash over me. I felt so hopeless and useless.

I realised it was not just my own emotions taking over me, it was Lissa's too.

I felt her darkness through the bond, her sense of helplessness and self loathing.

The darkness was consuming her, and I hated myself for leaving her and not being able to protect her like I should. I did the only thing I could to protect her in this moment, and I slowly and steadily allowed her darkness to drain from her, and seep it's way into me.

I suddenly felt very drained of energy, the darkness taking its toll on my already fragile state, and the days events and the realisation of the fact I may never escape out of here came crashing down on me.

I found myself collapsing to the floor, exhausted, and felt my eyes ever so slowly begin to close, despite my efforts to stay awake and alert.

Within seconds of falling asleep, I was pulled into a different world altogether.

I _found myself in a jacuzzi, in a back garden that overlooked a view of snowy mountains in the distance, scantily clad in a very revealing black string bikini._

 _I instantly groaned and yelled out "Adrian!!!"_

 _He suddenly appeared next to me, a glass of champagne in either hand. He gave me a very good view of the size of his manhood in his tight fitting dark blue shorts from this angle as he stood over me._

 _He chuckled at me as he caught me looking._

 _"I can take a picture if you like? It would last longer. Although, if you wish to see the real thing in all its glory, all you have to do is ask, little dhampir. I suppose I can make those sort of arrangements just for you." He winked at me and I laughed at him._

 _"On the contrary, Adrian, I was looking at it because it seems a rather odd shape. Should it be contorted like that? May I suggest you go to see your doctor about it?"_

 _A look of sheer panic crossed his face, and he looked down and inspected it to see if it was alright._

 _He let out a sigh of relief when he knew I was teasing him, and I couldn't help but laugh at how easy he was._

 _He shot me a scolding look and began tutting and shaking his head at me._

 _"Naughty naughty girl. Trying to trick me like that. You know perfectly well that it's in working order. And if you have your doubts, I'm more than happy to show you."_

 _I continued laughing as he climbed in next to me handing me a glass of champagne._

 _The warmth of the bubbling water lapped over me, and I felt a wave of peace come over me._

 _I sighed in contentment and snuggled up closer to him, resting my head in his shoulder._

 _"You know, a girl could get used to this sort of luxury."_

 _He looked down at me and kissed the top of my forehead affectionately._

 _"And you know, little dhampir, that this is always an option for you. I would give you anything your heart desires."_

 _I usually felt uncomfortable when Adrian began getting all serious and deep with me. I liked the flirty banter we had, and it pained me when he was like this because, although I cared for him deeply, I knew I could never be in love with him._

 _However, sitting here in these surroundings with someone I knew and trusted, felt so comforting that I didn't move. I cherished this moment, because it was such a far cry from where the real me truly was._

 _My body stiffened when I recalled my situation, and Adrian moved back immediately, putting his hands on either side of my face._

 _His usual care free face was replaced by a solemn one, as he remembered why he contacted me in the first place._

 _"My God, the darkness Rose, I've never seen anything like it. Your aura is so black." He studied me, concern gracing his handsome features._

 _I grimaced as the darkness swept over me again. I tried my best to keep it at bay for the time being, but it was only a matter of time before it became too much._

 _" I need you to tell me where you are. You told Lissa and the Russian that some Strigoi had taken you to a base. What's happened, do you know where you are?"_

 _I tried to recall everything I knew about where I was. But I had so little to go on, I doubted any of it would be of use._

 _I sighed and told him what little I knew._

 _"I already told them I was sleeping by a bridge when they captured me, I'm not sure how long we were travelling for, and I did not get a look of my surroundings or the outward appearance of the building I'm being held in as they blindfolded me._

 _However, I was able to get a look once inside, and it appeared that I was in a main room… it was huge with tall ceilings and old paintings, and it looked kinda like an old, rundown castle. There were Strigoi, humans and Moroi there, working together."_

 _I caught the look of surprise on his face and I nodded grimly._

 _"Yes Moroi, I'll go into that in a bit._

 _Anyway, they stripped me naked, and their leader, Seth I think his name was, told me he was going to "test me out later", but first I was dragged into a dungeon down a spiraling staircase. There were four different cells, split off into : Moroi, human, dhampir and a mix of all three."_

 _I had began crying, and took a deep breath to steady my nerves, Adrian took my hand in his, and when I looked up, I could see that his eyes held tears of their own._

 _He squeezed my hand to continue, and I took another breath and exemplified._

 _"I think it's some sort of trafficking scheme. Moroi clients visit and select a girl they want and take them."_

 _"What's in it for the Moroi? And why are the Strigoi working for another?" Adrian asked incredulously._

 _"You remember that last cell I mentioned, the mix? Well, the Strigoi and Moroi have free dibs on that, and can use the girls for anything they like._

 _I guess it's an easy target, and they have everything they could possibly want: A selection of girls, that they can use as bloodwhores and for sex without any hassle."_

 _He looked at me completely shocked and disgusted. And without a moment of hesitation, he had his arms wrapped around me and began apologising profusely._

 _"God Rose, I'm so sorry, so so sorry. What you are going through….it's just so….I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I would give anything now for this dream to be real, to have you here safe and protected in my arms. I am so sorry I let you down."_

 _We both broke down, crying in each others' arms, I didn't want to leave. I did feel so safe right there, and I feared what would be waiting for me when this dream ended._

 _"It's me who should be sorry Adrian. I let you all down. I failed. And what's worse is that I can't even help you find me. I know barely anything about where I am."_

 _Adrian looked at me again, and kissed my forehead._

 _" We will find you Rose. We have a team of Guardians prepared at the academy. We will work based on what you've given us. I'm sure that we'll manage it. Just hold on, Little dhampir, just hold on."_

 _The dream began to fizzle out, and I held onto Adrian with everything thing I had in me, desperate not to be pulled back. However hard I clung into him though, it was not enough, and the dream slipped away from me and I woke up._

I awoke to find myself on the cold, hard stone floor.

Just then, the cell door opened, and two strigoi entered and took me by the arms, dragging me out.

I could feel the darkness try to consume me now, and this time, I let it take over me.

The shadows and ghosts swirled around me, and I felt the darkness and the rage begin to build up inside of me. My blood boiled and my knuckles turned white as I clenched my fists furiously.

One coherent thought reached out to me amongst the darkness….

" _ **Use it to your advantage**_."


	12. Chapter 12: All that remains (DIMI POV)

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS!

PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING!!

I could barely contain myself. Adrian had been in a trance for what seemed like an eternity. He kept chuckling and licking his lips, and it took all of my willpower to keep from ripping off that permanent smug little smirk of his.

I glanced at Lissa to my left, and she gave a small smile at me and nodded. It was as if she could sense my level of distress. The look in her eyes was so soft and gentle, and it helped to calm me considerably.

In that moment, I held so much respect for her. Not that I hadn't respected her before, but after today, the way she was willing to sacrifice her morals for Roza by using her compulsion, I saw her in a different light.

She was a wonderful woman, and I knew that we were compatible. Not in a romantic sort of way, naturally, but in a friendship sense.

She always held herself with her head held high, she not only respected herself, but those around her, regardless of social standing. She was very unlike the majority of royals, Adrian to name one, she was humble and kind. Although I don't suppose having a friend like Rose by your side all those years does that to you.

I sighed and closed my eyes. Rose. I felt my jaw clench impatiently. What the hell was Adrian doing?

I was a patient man usually, in fact, in my home town at school, there was a competition amongst a few of my friends to see who could push me to breaking point, and when I remained calm, and lectured them with the art of Zen lessons, much to my greatest amusement and their annoyance, the competition grew. It started with just a handful of people, then slowly spread across the year, until my fame grew amongst the entire school.

It's why I had such an incredible resistance to Roza's attempts to fluster and irk me.

That's why I was surprising myself with my severe lack of control right now. I tried to control my rage, especially after seeing the way my father was with his family. He was a violent and brutal man, especially with my dear, sweet mama. And I swore to myself after I beat him up at thirteen and kicked him out for good that I would never become the piece of scum that he was.

I did struggle a lot to Keep my temper at bay, and I tried to ensure that I only took it out at the gym or in battle.

But Adrian was seriously testing my patience. I was just about to call this thing off, after all, we had waited over an hour with apparently no news, when suddenly his face changed.

The smug smirk was savagely ripped off his face, and he became panic stricken and extremely distressed. He started moaning quietly, moans that slowly turned into silent sobs.

He looked like a little child at that point, so vulnerable and scared, and my heart nearly jumped out of chest in worry.

Why did he suddenly change like that? What was happening to my Roza?

After hearing her describe the Strigoi and the way they couldn't keep their hands off her, I feared the worst. I tried not to, but the images persisted and flooded in my mind against my will. Roza's small body crushed under the weight of one of those creatures, or Roza bound up, unable to escape the clawing hands groping her delicate body, or them stripping her, tearing her clothes off, tears streaming her face as she silently screamed inside.

I heard Lissa whimper beside me, and I looked down and realised I had been crushing her small hand with my own gigantic one.

My eyes widened and I began apologising profusely, and she smiled at me and put her other, non-crushed hand on my arm to settle me down.

She closed her eyes and a warmth flowed through my entire body, I instantly felt my muscles relax, and my breath steadied. I looked at her, concerned as she began to pale considerably, a feat one would have thought impossible due to her naturally pale complextion, she smiled weakly, and closed her eyes again.

Her crushed hand healed before my eyes, and though she physically recovered, she looked mentally exhausted and began to sway slightly. I caught her in my arms and settled her down on one of the couches behind us.

We were currently in the Guardians' lounge. It was extremely basic, with a handful of plain black leather couches, and a coffee table in the centre.

There were several guardians with us at present, including Stan and Alberta. Not all of the guardians were able to attend because they had their duties to attend to.

Adrian lay in one of the other couches, and began violently twitching and crying.

He suddenly shot up, beads of sweat pouring off his forehead and shouted with a strangled voice:

"Rose!"

He then turned a bright shade of white and collapsed on the couch, completely drained from using so much spirit.

I mentally scolded myself, he had put himself through a lot to help us find Rose. I should give the guy a bit more credit as a person, and give him a break. Not that he particularly seemed bothered my by cold and harsh demeanour with him, in fact, he seemed to rather enjoy it.

I knew that I should let Rose be with another man, but something about Ivanskov didn't sit right.

Naturally, I was jealous. He could touch Rose in public, profess his feelings towards her unlike I.

But it was more than that. He was a player, and had a notorious reputation for being so. He would only end up hurting her after he used her. Though it pained me, tore my heart in two to think of her with another man, I knew that anyone was better than him.

 _But none of them would do, Dimitri_ , a voice whispered at the back of my mind, _because they're not you_.

Adrian moaning loudly brought me back into focus. I strode across the room in a few steps.

I poured him a shot of brandy from the little alcohol cupboard, and pressed it into his hand.

He eagerly snatched it off me, and downed it in one, holding his glass out for another.

I complied and quickly shoved another in his hand, afraid he would bite it off if I didn't pull away fast enough.

He threw his head back and downed it again, he held his glass out again and I shook my head at him.

"What good is it Lord Ivanskov if your memory escapes you, and you're not sober enough to recall everything you just learnt in the past hour?"

His eyes narrowed into tiny slits at me and he sighed. He took a packet of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket, and drew one out. The filthy habit disgusted me and he knew it. He lit it, keeping eye contact with me the entire time, just to piss me off. And it was working.

I had to physically hold my hands together to keep from shaking him, and through gritted teeth, told him to tell us what he knew.

He sat up fully now, and held the attention of the entire room.

Lissa stirred and I helped her sit up, I kept a hand on her back to steady her.

Adrian cleared his throat and drew another drag on his cigar with trembling hands.

He proceeded to tell us everything that had happened to Rose. I felt my stomach tighten with the mention of them stripping her, nausea building in my throat. I took a sip of water to try and keep it under control.

He then told us, with a shaky voice, breaking with emotion, that she was involved in a trafficking scheme. That there were cells of different women locked up, waiting to be sold to the highest bidder. He then told us about the cell with the mixed women in, and upon hearing this, I could no longer hold back my nausea. I walked over to the small bathrooms to the other side of the room calmly, so as to not raise much suspicion. But upon entering the room, I ran to the cubicle, and hurled up the contents of my stomach and eventually bile.

I lay back against the door. My sweet, warm Roza. Oh how I longed for her body pressed up against mine. If only I could hold her close in my arms, protect her against those beasts. I don't think I could control myself if….no, _when_ we rescued her. To hell with my job. I needed her, and I knew as sure as hell that she needed me.

That's all I could focus on now, getting her back to me. And so, with a deep breath, I pulled myself up off the floor, my body seemingly weighing far more that it had done before, and after washing my hands and rinsing my mouth out, I stepped back into the main room.

 **2 hours later**

We were in one of the SUVs traveling along the same road Rose had hitched a hike with those Trash men.

After discussing an action plan, it was decided that following her footsteps, or at least as far as we know, was the best course of action.

There were 42 guardians in total. I and a few others had managed to pull a few strings and pull in a few contacts to aid us.

We barely had to use Lissa's compulsion, as this was such a huge deal- not only because there were Strigoi, humans and Moroi working together and the sheer number of them, but of what they were doing as well- many were willing to join us to destroy this trafficking scheme.

There may have been only 42 of us, but Adrian said that Rose had said about half were not Strigoi. We could only hope that her estimations were correct.

We past the diner, and navigated our way to the bridge Rose had mentioned.

That was the last place we knew Rose had travelled to.

The SUV continued along the road for another hour or so.

We needed to hurry up, the sky was threatening to go dark once more, and our hunt for Rose was a desperate one.

My mind wandered to the last time I saw her, or rather, heard her.

It was a completely strange experience, having the woman you love trapped in the body of another.

I wish now that I had overcome my inhibitions and uncertainty and told her how I truly feel.

She was so scared, so lost.

Considering Rose was such a strong woman, the fact she had been reduced to that because of what she had gone through, terrified me. What terrified me even more was the fact that by the time we got to wherever they were keeping her, it could be too late.

And I swore to God that when I got my hands on those bastards that took her, Strigoi or not, I would tear them apart, limb from limb.

A voice on the radio interupted my tortuous thoughts.

" _We've finished researching the local area, we were correct in our original assumptions, there are only two buildings within a 50 mile radius that matches the description given."_

That in itself was a small miracle. Naturally it would've been better for us if it had only been the one, but considering that we could have had it a lot worse was something to appreciate.

However, it would mean that we'd have to split our resources in two, at least to scout. The two buildings, the voice had told us, were on opposite ends of the radius.

Although this compromised the numbers we could take into each building, we lacked the time to investigate each building after each other. The Guardians did not necessarily see Rose's safety as the utmost priority, and thus were content with scouting the buildings first and then acting.

I, however, wanted to act as quickly as possible, fearing each second meant our chances of finding my Roza were slipping away.

I wanted to protest, my other fear was that I would end up in the rescue team that arrived at the wrong place, and thus I would not be able to save Rose, and see for myself that she was safe and unharmed.

However, the plan had already been discussed and decided, and there was very little I could do to change their minds. Although I was part of the team, I had not orchestrated the rescue attempt.

Lissa had been adamant she wanted to come along, but with her being a Moroi royal, and the fact that she could barely stand, meant that we had to leave her behind us with Christian. I myself wanted her to stay behind to ensure her safety was not unnecessarily compromised and she could provide Rose with some much needed comfort when she returned. God only knows the psychological traumas she had endured.

Our team, heading in the west direction, was within a couple minutes of our destination.

My stomach churned as we rounded the corner, terrified that what ever hope had been keeping me together would shatter, along with my sanity.

The SUV jerked as it scrambled on the rough, rocky terrain underneath, the dense trees began to clear, exposing us to the ruin of an abandoned castle.

The other team radioed again, having kept us updated throughout the journey. They had apparently arrived, and I steadied myself to prepare for their news.

"... _all clear, no threat in this area. We have scouted the entire building, besides the odd homeless person, we did not encounter any strigoi or evidence of the trafficking scheme."_

I felt my body deflate in relief as I let go of the breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. That surely meant that we were on track to find them.

The SUV stopped then, rather abruptly, jolting us all with the sudden movement.

None of us wasted a moment of time, and one by one we filed out of the vehicles and onto the rough terrain.

My breath caught as I gasped in sheer shock.

The building in front of us was tall and formidable, with its leaning towering grey stone blocks that seemed to defy the laws of nature, it was a wonder it held itself upright.

However, it was not that that had caused myself, and the rest of the team to stop wide-eyed in shock.

In front of us were hundreds of naked, bloody and beaten women, screaming and crying.

It was a truly haunting sight to see. So many victims, not only physically scarred, but emotionally and psychologically too.

We waded through the crowds, some guardians staying behind to try and bring order to the chaos and reassure the hysterical crowd.

I was in a separate, independent mission though, and I desperately searched for one person in particular: _Roza_. I circled the crowd and ran around, pushing myself past the faceless bodies, my breathing becoming more erratic with each passing second.

My worst fears came true, as I realised she was nowhere to be seen.

I decided to join the group of guardians that entered the building to put down any resistance and threat we faced.

I stepped inside the long hallway, my feet sinking silently into the disintegrating blood- red carpet, scanning the surroundings constantly until I came to a large room, not unlike that of a palace throne room, and stopped dead in my tracks.

The ground was covered with dead bodies, that looked as if they had been burnt to a crisp.

I'm fact, the rest of the room, and on further inspection, the other rooms of this building, appeared to have been caught up in a massive fire, a fire that had consumed all of the building, and the lives of those still in it.

My heart lurched in my chest, praying to God that Roza was not amongst the fallen.

We spent the next couple of hours sorting out medical care for the women outside, and checking the remains of those inside.

However, although many of the bodies looked to belong to males, some of the victims, though indistinguishable, appeared to be that of females.

We had been checking to see if any of the bodies belonged to that of Rose, however the damage the fire had done to them made it impossible to tell if any of them was her.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I closed my eyes knowing what was coming. I knew in our line of work that death in battle was almost a certainty; the life expectancy for dhampirs was short for a reason. But no matter how hard I had tried to prepare myself for the day I found Rose dead, to detach myself and my feelings towards her, nothing could truly prepare me for this moment.

A lump formed in my throat as I turned around slowly, delaying the moment in the hope that if I put it off any longer, someone would wake me up from my slumber and tell me this was all part of some terrible dream.

I had turned to face the wisened, hard, yet sympathetic face of Alberta.

She too, had tears in her eyes at the news she had to tell me.

I looked at her, not able to conceal the heartbreak.

She simply shook her head at me and sighed.

"There's no sign of her Dimitri...

 _…..she's gone_."


	13. Chapter 13: Burning passion RPOV

_**Author's note**_

 _ **Thank you so much…. I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of love and support I have received. I have been genuinely moved to tears by the comments you guys left.**_

 _ **I wasn't in a good place last week, and I was deeply embarrassed by what I'd written.**_

 _ **But then I received such wonderful and inspiring comments, and I felt truly relieved and happy that so many of you understood.**_

 _ **Because of the amount of support I received, I knew there was not a cat in hell's chance I was gonna give up on this story.**_

 _ **I'm sorry this chapter took so long, I hit my head on Tuesday night and it turns out I've got a pretty bad concussion. It's still pretty bad, but the depression has subdued the past few days, and I feel in a much better place.**_

 _ **And that wouldn't be possible without you guys, so thank you, thank you, thankyou again! You are all amazing and I send my love and gratitude out to you all.**_

 _ **Yours with love,**_

 _ **E xxx**_

_xXx_

I could feel darkness within me. Growing with every passing second, desperately trying to break free.

It clawed at me from the inside, burning as it coursed through my veins, and It took every ounce of my being to keep it from ripping its way out of me.

No…..it had to wait.

The guards dragged me back up the stairs, and along the long hallway. A crimson red carpet lay rolled out across the floor, and I shuddered to think it was ideal for covering up the blood of the victims here.

The walls were bare and a dull grey stone colour, decorated with only dust and cobwebs, smeared with a little blood here and there to really brighten up the place. The occasional torch lit up the room, but only just enough to allow us to see, and as of such left an eerie darkness to the hall. The whole place screamed creepy.

I was taken into a room at the far end of the corridor, a huge dark oak door between me and whatever awaited inside.

I could feel the guards' hands digging into me as I violently spasmed in their arms, the darkness within me ready to let loose at any moment.

"Not….yet" I murmured painfully between clenched teeth, and I saw the guards briefly look down at me in confusion.

Their grip was so tight on me, after all they were two strigoi guards with supernatural strength, that I knew it would be pointless acting yet.

The guards knocked on the door, and it opened to reveal the dark haired Strigoi 'king'... Seth.

He wore a dark blood red silk robe….only right that it matched the decor I suppose, his hair was gelled back, and he had a sherry glass of something red, I had an idea of what it was, in his left hand….. classy.

I was ushered into the room, and the door was shut behind me.. leaving the two of us alone.

The room was dull with an orange hue to it- candles were lit everywhere, and in the middle of it stood a tall bed with red silk layered upon it.

It was like a scene straight out of a 70s porno.

I scoffed at the try hard romantic setting when it was anything but.

I half expected 'Just the Two of us' to start playing from some stereo somewhere, or for him to pull out a microphone and give a rendition of "unchained melody" by the righteous brothers. I rather hoped he didn't, it was a guilty pleasure of mine.

His eyes leered up and down my body and he cleared his throat.

My eyes widened, and I felt the greatest fear that I had felt since I'd been kidnapped here.

' _Holy shit, he's gonna do it Rose! He's gonna break out into song!'_

He sauntered up to me, tilted my head up so we locked eyes and kissed my hand.

Okay….before it was weird...this was just plain psychotic.

It was as if we were lovers… I wondered if he'd done this with the hundred of women below us?

My question was soon answered when he leant over to me and began whispering in my ear 'seductively'.

Seriously….what did this guy think he was?

He ran his finger along my jaw line and rested his hand against my cheek.

"No doubt you are surprised my dear.

I can see the confusion in those big, stunningly beautiful eyes." He chuckled to himself, finding me amusing for some reason.

"You're right, this isn't my usual way of ...doing things.

But the moment I lay eyes on you, I knew that you were an exquisite, rare sort of creature, and that uniqueness deserves a reward. I told you earlier, I want you for myself."

"You think this is a reward for me? Jesus Christ you're both a conceited asshole and deluded."

I rolled my eyes at him, and once again he chuckled in his deep voice.

"My sweet dear, why of course it is. This night we shall share together shall be one that you'll never forget, and will leave you begging for so much more."

I scoffed at him and gave a dark laugh of my own.

"I would much rather have pins shoved through my eyes, rip them out and barbeque them for supper than be here with you."

Okay….a little gruesome I know, but the darkness was beginning to consume me to breaking point… and this guy was seriously beginning to piss me off now.

The hand that held my cheek suddenly grabbed the side of my head and yanked it towards him, forcing me to look directly into his red rimmed eyes.

I felt a wave of confusion and lightheadedness sweep over me, and my mind cleared and became numb.

Those sinister, malevolent dark eyes bore into mine, and it felt like he was staring into my soul….

"You will hush now child" he stroked his finger over my lips and pressed it against them to silent me.

"You find me the most attractive and alluring creature that you have ever seen. You want me. You _need_ me."

He then trailed his hand across my cheekbones, along my jawline,and down my neck, settling on my pulse.

He continued to stare into me, and I could feel myself slipping as he morphed into a familiar person.

His crimson eyes were suddenly the most hypnotic and beautiful things I had laid eyes upon; a deep chocolate brown that held such lust and passion, mirroring my own desire for him. My hands itched to let me run wild in his hair, running my fingers through the thick, luscious strands. Such a beautiful dark brown, and I knew it would be silky and smooth to the touch. My body ached and I leant forward into him, pressing our hips together.

I let out a giggle as something hard prodded into my lower stomach, and I felt a growl rumble through his stomach and up through his chest.

"Is that a stake Comrade, or are you just pleased to see me?"

He looked at news if I was insane, but quickly recovered himself laughing. God he had the sexiest laugh.

"I've heard many things being called out in this room, but never Comrade! Such a peculiar pet name for me...but hey… if it gets you in the mood for fucking me, then I'm all for it. Who doesn't love a bit of role play?" he winked at me, and all of a sudden I felt an uneasy nauseating sensation wash over me.

Dimitri knew what 'Comrade' meant to us… he would never question it. I took a step back from him, and scanned him warily.

He had shrunk considerably… no where near the tall beast of a man I knew….and his muscles, they were non existent.

As I continued to study him, the parts of the Dimitri I knew and loved fell away, like the mirage in front of me was dissolving bit by bit in front of my eyes.

His hair became shorter, and turned a dark salt and pepper black.

His nose became wider, and his cheekbones lost their definitive cutting edge.

But it was his eyes …..

To my horror, the soft, warm eyes that I had fallen in love with slowly mutated in the most grotesque manner, into a dark, cold pair of red glowing orbs.

The illusion shattered and I snapped out of the trance he had put me under, and saw the real heinous creature in front of me still attempting to take possession over my body.

The realisation hit me…

He was fucking using compulsion on me!

Any self control I'd had on the darkness diminished, and I felt it explode out of me with a fierceness that knocked me backwards, and I hit the wall with a hard thud and my head started aching like hell.

Where I would have usually started to feel the effects of a concussion, instead of stars swimming around me, black and dark purple shadows swirled around and consumed my vision, and I began screaming.

I clawed at my face, trying frantically to fight the gaping mouths and burning coal like eyes away from me.

But the ghosts wouldn't move away. I started screaming at them to go away, but the ghosts merely grew in number, making the the excruciating pain all the more unbearable. I could feel their force, trying to drag me with them into the shadows.

Somewhere in the Pandemonium, I heard a voice shouting at me to

"Shut the fuck up!"

This was enough to bring me back to reality before I lost myself to the shadow dimension.

My sight began to clear slightly, leaving the Strigoi in my line of vision.

I focused my energy on him.

All of the anger, the darkness, the disgust, the hatred that I possessed suddenly exploded on him, and the shadows and ghosts left me and started taunting and smothering him.

A blood curdling scream escaped his lips, his eyes wide and frantic in fear and confusion.

"GET OFF ME, YOU FUCKING BASTARDS, GET THE FUCK OFF ME! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO ME YOU WHORE?!"

He carried on screaming profanities at me, waving his hands in the air like a mad man.

Hearing his screams, two of the guards came in to see what the problem was, and I immediately launched more shadows at them, and they too began screaming and clawing at the air surrounding them.

The room was filled by the terrifying shrieks of the Strigoi, and pretty soon a new wave of strigoi entered the room, and they too became victim to the darkness.

I used the opportunity of distraction to slip out of the room, trying to find the dungeon below. I stumbled as I ran, the hit on the head making me lose my balance. Despite the plan to be stealthy and bring the element of surprise in my attack, I tripped over my feet halfway down the stairs and fell down loudly, landing with an ungraceful and unladylike

" _Oomph...bloodyhell_!".

Two guards were immediately on me, there were about fifteen in total down here and no doubt in their minds they could take me down easy.

….how wrong they were.

I felt a forceful blow to my jaw, and turned to face the Strigoi who delivered it, his face smug as my lip burst from the impact, blood going everywhere.

However, the the blow did little to faze me, the anger from the darkness numbed me, and as of such, I barely flinched with the punch.

I slowly turned my head towards him, cracked my neck, and smirked smugly giving him the message that he just messed with the wrong bitch.

I glared at him, and focused all of my energy on him. All of a sudden he started screaming and flailing his arms around, as if his body had been consumed by invisible flames.

I turned to rest of the guards facing me frozen, with a mixture of fear and awe slapped on their faces.

There I stood in the middle of the room, fourteen guards stood in a line in front of me. I figured I may as well use what God gave me to my advantage whilst I held their attention.

I smiled my best man eating smile at them, and slowly trailed my finger along my lips, until it reached the blood.

I smeared it all over my finger, and brought it between my lips, sucking it slowly and seductively, licking off the drops of blood, moaning loudly.

I saw their eyes feasting upon me, hungry and lustful, and now that I had their attention, I let all hell break loose.

I summoned the ghosts and shadows to me, and they swarmed around me in a hurricane. I saw the Strigoi cry out in terror, and I laughed maniacally before unleashing the darkness upon them.

Ghosts of their victims haunted them, mouths gaping an ungodly size, I could feel the darkness continue to build in me, and I embraced it.

The room filled with swirls of black shadows and mist, the women screamed out in fear, bringing some of the sanity back to me, as I remembered why I had gone back down here instead of escaping like I could have done.

I leapt forward and took the keys from one of the guards.

I ran over to the mixed race cell first. Lord knows those girls had suffered the most, and deserved their freedom.

I was fumbling with the keys, there were at least a dozen on the ring, and in my already foggy and unclear mind, I struggled to make sense of what I was doing, when I heard a Strigoi growle in rage behind me. I turned around and ducked just in time to avoid a blow to my nose, I punched him in the stomach, but him being a crazy ass Strigoi, and a fucking angry one at that, he acted as if if merely annoyed him, and grabbed my arm and twisted it. I would have cried out in pain, and had no doubt I'd be feeling that later, but once again the darkness was so overwhelming that I couldn't feel it like I should have done.

Using all of my weight, I twisted the side of my body that was free, and slammed it into him, knocking him backwards. I then continued to fire rapid punches at him in quick succession, before delivering a final powerful roundhouse kick to his head, that would have surely killed any mortal creature.

But him being Strigoi, it wasn't enough, but the kick gave me the chance I needed to summon more darkness and unleash it upon him.

He once again began screaming, and I knew that I had gained a few short minutes of distraction.

I ran back to the cell, and eventually found the right key.

I put it in the lock and turned it, and it opened with a satisfying clunk.

The women stood there frozen, many of them just shadows of their former selves, and it took quite a few attempts of me pushing them and yelling at them to get the fuck out of here for them to start moving.

I quickly moved onto the next cells, and one by one, the girls sprang up the stairs and made their way out of the building, crying with tears of joy and shouting exclamations of thanks as they passed me.

I was left alone with the Strigoi, and I could slowly feel the energy drain out of me, controlling the darkness was nearly impossible, and it took every ounce of me to keep my reign over it. I had to act fast if I had any hope of allowing these girls the sufficient time needed for them to escape.

One of the torches that hung on the wall caught my eye.

With no weapon, magic or any sort of back up, I had to resort to one of the only means of destroying the undead…. _fire_.

I jumped up and grabbed it off the wall,

Curtains hung around the room, and I made my way towards them, lighting them with the flame. They soon caught it quickly, and before long the room was filled it smoke and flames. I bounded up the stairs, taking my torch with me, and created a wall of shadows at the entrance which repelled the Strigoi desperately attempting to flee from the fire.

I ran up the stairs, the rest of the guards were either in the bedroom or throne room, I passed a couple of girls on the hallway, and screamed at them to get their butts moving.

They stayed rooted to the ground, and as much as it went against every moral fibre of my being, I could not waste my time on them and compromise the lives of the hundreds of girls escaping.

With a heavy heart, I continued to the bedroom.

In a similar way to the dungeon, I started the fire in the room, and blocked the exit with the wall of shadows, not before kneeing Seth hard in the balls for earlier, naturally.

I made my way into the throne room, and using the last of my energy, I expelled more darkness from me. This room was filled with a greater proportion of Moroi and humans, and thus it was easier to use as little darkness on them as possible.

I quickly made my way around the room, and pretty soon, the fire consumed everything in it.

The room went up in flames, and I bolted out of the door, coughing and spluttering from the smoke I'd inhaled.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the hundreds of girls huddled in front of the castle, and I let out a breath of relief that the majority had managed to get out in time.

And as much as I yearned to join them, the darkness corrupted my mind.

It was angry with me for trying to show my dominance, and as of such, no matter how hard I fought it, it battled to take its control back over me.

The shadows from the building now began to follow and hunt me, and I started screaming and running, desperately trying to escape them.

But it was no use, I was bound to them, and they were not going to let me escape a second time.

Before I knew it, I was running deep into a forest, and the shadows began to surround me.

My body and mind was too weak, and I lacked the energy to carry on.

They circled and swirled around me, and I felt an immense pressure drill into my head.

Despite my screams, they continued to harass and taunt me, until the pain became too much for me to handle and I collapsed to the floor.

Everything went black.


	14. Chapter 14: News

_**Author's note.**_

Oh my goodness! I have once again been blown away by your support! That last chapter got so many reviews, and you have no idea how much that cheered me up!

I just wanted to ask you guys a quick question.

After this story, I have a plot in mind for another one (not a sequel) and I wondered what you guys thought.

Would you be interested if I put another story out there?

Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favourites.

PLEASE keep the reviews coming! I love hearing what you guys think! After my concussion last week, the last ones really cheered me up!

Thanks,

E xxx

 _ **Chapter 14: News**_

 **Adrian POV**

"What the hell is your problem man?" I exclaimed amusedly.

"What the hell is my problem? WHAT THE HELL IS MY PROBLEM?!

Gee, let's see… one of our closest friends might be being fucking raped as we speak, we've heard nothing from the rescue team, and lastly, oh! What's this? It would appear an arrogant little drunk, with a reputation for being a man whore, has got his hands all over my godamn woman!"

Christian spat angrily, fists clench, and fire in his eyes, quite literally.

I rolled my eyes and drawled lazily ignoring the 'man whore' comment.

"Relax mannnn, all this stress will give wrinkles and make you age before your time. And no one finds an older man attractive, ain't that right cousin?"

I playfully patted her bottom- not the first time I had touched her this evening, earning me another glare from Christian.

Lissa muttered under her breath "Rose does." And I guffawed outloud, and had to high five her for that.

We both started giggling uncontrollably, and Christian, having missed the joke, stared at us incredulously and with great annoyance.

"What's so funny? Tell me now! For God's sakes!

Rose is missing and you two find this hilarious?! You're sick!"

Holy crap, Christian Ozera of all people accusing me of being sick. That was not something to take lightly.

"Woah Ozera, calm down man. Listen, the rescue team are on their way, they've already told us they've found the place and are looking for her right now." I purposefully drawled out my words slowly, with my usual smug grin slapped on my face, I Adrian Ivashkov, was the master of annoying the hell out of people.

And sure enough, he reeled and practically hissed at me, shaking violently with rage.

Man alive, this was just too easy.

The truth was, with Lissa and I being Spirit users, and recently having used our powers, we both had been completely drained. But we had also both wanted to be awake for when Rose returned.

We had every confidence that she would come back to us, as much as I loathed the Cradle Robber, I sure as hell knew he could kick ass. And with the team he had, I hoped the bastards that took Rose didn't have a chance.

But it was more than that hope we were high off…. We'd been given 'Pick me up' drugs, only temporarily naturally, just to keep us from going stir crazy. With Spirit being such an unknown and rare element, that no one knew anything about, they just decided to give us the drugs.

Lissa and I had desperately wanted to tag along with the rescue team, and were told they could not compromise and risk our safety.

So, we were left here, and quite naturally, the insanity decided to make an appearance.

Both Lissa and I, though still learning and mastering Spirit, had both managed to get it relatively under control.

Hers through Rose, mine through…..drink. Perhaps not ideal, no. But it sure as hell beats someone intruding in my mind and reading all my thoughts. I'm quite positive they'd feel the constant need to bathe and wash themselves if they lived inside my head.

Anyway, whilst the majority of the time, we could control Spirit, we had used a lot today, and that combined with the extremely stressful situation had been enough to send us overboard. We had both began muttering to ourselves, before starting to violently shake and shout incoherent ramblings, the volume and extent of such, caused them to try to shut us up.

"God, I'm soooo bored. I hope they hurry up already, I'm starving- now I know how Rose feels all the time." Lissa moaned, and it set us off giggling like crazy again.

Christian grabbed Lissa's hand,and stared worryingly into her eyes.

"After the Spokane incident... Things changed. Don't get me wrong, Rose still annoys the hell out of me, but after… after...Mason….we all decided, Mia, Eddie, Rose and I to make a pact.

We would look out for each other, as much as we could, before graduation at least.

We were not going to let another one of us die before we were eighteen."

He desperately searched in Lissa's eyes for an inch of understanding and compassion, hoping the drugs hadn't taken away two of her most endearing qualities when he needed them most.

When Lissa just stared blankly at him and cocked her head to one side confusedly, he sighed and closed his eyes in quiet frustration.

"Lissa, Adrian, I need you to contact Rose, see if they found her, and if not, at least see...at least ….

"See if she's alive?"

A feminine voice softly spoke behind me, and I turned around to see the striking face of Tasha Ozera.

I say striking...for more than one reason.

There was no denying Tasha Ozera was hot, and I mean smokin' hot.

She was tall and slim, and although I preferred women with a bit more curvature, her body was still pretty goddamn impressive, for a Moroi at least.

She wore her dark silk curtain of hair down today, covering the markings on her face, and the striking Ozera ice blue eyes.

She walked into the room, and flipped her long hair over her delicate shoulders, and no matter how many times I'd seen them, I gasped softly at the extent of her scars. A long purple gash sliced along her cheek, and whilst one could tell of her natural beauty, there was no denying the scars ruined what would have been a stunning woman.

Like I said…. She was striking for several reasons.

Christian ran up to her, and in the most un-Christian like way, he wrapped his arms around her, momentarily stunning her.

She returned the hug and whispered in her ear, "You know they've been given some sort of drugs, right? They won't get the full extent of the situation, and the gravity of your words."

Christian nodded solemnly and was about to reply, when we heard the sound of footsteps.

I glanced at the clock, stunned by the time I saw. It had been nearly seven hours since we last heard anything from them, no wonder Christian was going crazy.

Guardians filled the room, the room being that of the Guardian Lounge, and with them being Guardians, we had no idea if the news from their mission was good or bad… their faces gave nothing away.

Not until we saw Dimitri.

His eyes gave him away. So full of raw emotion and pain.

I knew this was bad, but the cursed drugs could not make me appreciate and realise what had happened.

Dimitri avoided eye contact with everyone, and his head lowered to the floor when that middle aged, rather masculine woman….Alberta I think her name was, broke the news to us…

"We sent two teams out, and the first one reached their location first, and conducted a search before notifying us that there was no sign of the organised crime Novice Hathaway had alluded to.

Our team were not far behind, and as soon as we got there we saw over a hundred girls, stripped naked and beaten, huddled together outside of the building.

Half of the group ensured that the girls had somewhere to go, where they could be protected and have cover overnight with suitable medical care.

The other half scouted the building, and upon entering the building, immediately found the dead bodies of the criminals involved, burnt to a crisp. Amongst the dead were several female bodies belonging to the victims of the organised crime.

As of such, we were unable to distinguish Hathaway amongst those found, and after searching the surrounding perimeter with no sign of her, we concluded…." She briefly hesitated and closed her eyes. And if I hadn't been paying such close attention to her, I would have surely missed the emotional (for a guardian anyway) response. "... that Hathaway must be amongst the remains of those that had fallen."

Another Guardian I didn't know spoke up. "After speaking to several of the girls, we found out that Hathaway managed to single handedly release the girls and kill the Strigoi, Moroi and humans involved. We're not sure how she did it, but we do know that she will be honoured in death as a heroin and true Guardian."

A moment of silence fell across the room, the silence owing to shock for some of us, and respect and sorrow by others. The silence was terrifying, and it was as if the universe knew the loss the World would suffer without Rose.

The Guardians were then thanked for their time and effort, and quickly dismissed to their posts. No rest for the wicked.

It's strange, being a royal and all, how I never noticed how tough Guardians had it, and it had only been since my time with Rose, that I had begun to see them as more than just permanent shadows, trailing close behind you, barely noticeable.

God….Rose.

My heart swelled thinking about her. I loathed the fact that my prior reputation as a womaniser meant that she didn't believe the extent of my feeling for her. She was more than just a cheap, quick thrill, like so many of the others had been…..no, she was different.

I had never met a girl who didn't throw themselves at my feet for my status, money or good looks.

But Rose… she saw beyond the superficial crap. She made me want to reveal my true self to her in a way that I had been unable to do because of my privileged, but restrictive lifestyle. She was humble, yet confident, beautiful and brave, and no woman had ever captured my heart the way she had.

The drugs were beginning to wear off now, and judging by the scream Lissa had let out, before collapsing from shock, I guessed hers had too.

Either that or the news had sobered us both right up.

And as I was repossessing some control over my hazy mind, my vision tinted with red.

 _ **Belikov**_.

I had never liked that man.

He didn't realise how lucky he was that a goddess like Rose had chosen him.

 _Chosen him over you, you mean_ , a voice at the back of my head muttered bitterly.

He had a shot at perfection and was stupid enough to reject it. Rose did not deserve that, he did not deserve her.

And yet, despite his rejection of her, he continued to warn Rose off other suitors, in particular me. The bastard was selfish enough to let her go, but keeping her from seeing other people was on a whole other level.

And now… now she was gone. None of us had had the chance to show her the love she deserved. Suddenly, my world felt very empty… and the pain my heart felt was like no other I had experienced before. I felt a darkness rise in me.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and as the last Guardian left the room, he allowed himself to collapse on the couch behind him.

He put his heads in his hands before clasping them together in a prayer. He closed his eyes and bent his head down, and muttered so softly, that without my Moroi hearing, I wouldn't have been able to make it out.

"Moya milaya Roza ... moy angel. Vy ne mozhete ostavit' menya takim, dumaya, chto ya ne lyublyu vas, kogda eto ne budet dal'she ot istiny

Я никогда не любил ни того, ни другого, как я любил тебя, и все же, как я был глуп, чтобы все это выбросить. Пожалуйста, вернись ко мне, моя сладкая, позволь мне показать тебе, как сильно я тебя люблю"

Suddenly, all of those tortuous hours of Russian at school seemed to be finally paying off, as I scrambled about my brain, trying to translate it to the best of my ability….

" _My sweet Roza... my angel. You cannot leave me like this, thinking that I don't love you, when that couldn't be further from the truth. I have never loved anything or anyone like I have loved you, and yet how foolish I have been to throw it all away. Please come back to me my sweet, let me show you how much I love you_."

My heart softened slightly, perhaps he was hurting as much as I was, perhaps under the cold, stoic exterior, he did truly care and love Rose, and desire to be with her, but felt powerless to do so.

I was about to walk over to the man, and invite him on alcohol fuelled night or drowning in our sorrows, when Tasha took my place next to her, wrapped her arms around him and turned his head towards her.

When he didn't push her away, and actually reciprocated the embrace by leaning his head on her shoulder, my blood boiled.

I stalked over to him, eyes burning with rage, as I pointed a trembling finger at him accusedly.

"You… you _fucking bastard_." His head shot up as he pulled away from Tasha, he stood over me, a puzzled expression on his face.

Without a second's thought, a threw out my fist, and punched him square in the jaw.

" _Fuck_!" I shouted, clutching my wrist to my body and cradling it. What the hell was this man made out off… he didn't even flinch.

His jaw clenched, but he did not show any other response to my pathetic attempt to harm him.

"Ivashkov…. May I suggest that you retire to your room. I am in no mood to tolerate your drunken behaviour tonight."

My face burned as I blushed furiously from anger… the nerve of the man… thinking I punched him because I was drunk.

Tasha latched onto his arm, looking up pleadingly at him.

"Come on Dimka, before either one of you gets into a situation you might regret. We can talk in my room if you like, you shouldn't be alone tonight."

He looked reluctant to follow her request "Tasha I would much prefer some solitude and time to myself right no—"

He was cut off by her, "Dimka, you've got no choice about it. You need to be with someone tonight. Let's go." She began dragging him by the arm, and to my horror his feet slowly began to follow her.

I couldn't contain myself anymore.

"You're an asshole Belikov, you know that right? Rose is barely cold in the ground and you're already off screwing the nearest woman you can see. You act all high and mighty, when it's clear you never gave a shit about her.

I always knew Rose didn't deserve you".

Any self control the man had attempted to cling onto vanished immediately. His eyes flashed black with anger, and and before I knew it, a fist lunged out at me, and my vision went black.


	15. Chapter 15: Freedom and Capture

_**Author's note.**_

 _ **We've got 100 reviews!!!!!! OMG!!!**_ _ **That is so amazing! You have no idea how touched I am that you've taken the time to tell me what you think.**_ _ **It's been a bad week this week, so I apologise it's a bit later than I would have liked.**_ _ **But I've merged two short chapters together to celebrate hitting 100!**_ _ **Absolutely blown away by all of you support.**_ _ **Please, please please keep the reviews coming! I love knowing what you guys think, makes my day!**_ _ **Thanks,**_ _ **E xxxx**_

 _ **RPOV**_

"Hey, hot stuff, you dead or what?"

I felt a gentle kick to my side, but couldn't open my mouth to talk.

"Hey… I'm giving you another minute before I leave you here".

Silence followed, but the person doing the proding seemed to be losing their patience, despite only 30 seconds having passed. I half wanted to open my eyes, and half didn't. I was curious to see who was assaulting me...so I could later kick their ass, but I also feared it could be a gang of people, and I was better of playing dead.

Regardless of what I wanted, my eyelids appeared to be glued shut, and I could not open them willingly even if I wanted to.

They gave a frustrated sigh, and kicked again, this time with considerable more force.

"Come on girl! I'm so not in the mood for this today. My life is shit enough as it is without coming across a dead body….

Oh shit! What if someone sees me and thinks I've… thinks I've done this to you, oh FUCK!"

The last profanity was accompanied by yet another sharp and painful kick, and the force of which caused me to open my eyes in shock and hunch over, wheezing in pain.

The girl who had been assaulting me immediately knelt down and came into my narrow field of vision. It was blurry, and I was disoriented, but I could just about make out a hazy pair of kind, green eyes, a darker shade to Lissa's, but the familiarity provided a little comfort all the same.

They stared back at me wildly.

"Holy crap! I'm so sorry, you… you were just lying there and I thought you were dead or something!"

As my blurry vision cleared, more of her form became apparent to me.

It was difficult at first to make out her features because she was covered in dirt. But the more I focused on her, the more her appearance became clearer to me.

She was a rather masculine looking woman, with worn, weathered tanned skin, and underneath all of the dirt, I could make out a light brown coloured mane that flowed just past her shoulders in a straggly tangle.

She appeared to be rather plain looking, but her plain looks were merely compensated by her outspoken and frank manner.

"Where….where the hell am I?" I mumbled sleepily. I couldn't remember what had happened, and why the hell I was lying in a heap in a muddy ditch somewhere.

"Ah! The little Princess speaks!" she exclaimed amusedly.

Little Princess? Oh hell no.

"Little Princess?" I asked curiously.

"Well look at you, with your long flowing dark hair, big dark eyes and pouty lips. Clearly you've led a privileged life with how prim and proper you are. Question is, why did daddy leave you out here in the big bad world all alone?" She smirked. She clearly knew nothing about me, yet the daddy comment hit a sore spot, and I couldn't help lashing out.

"You know nothing about me, or my family. I have not had it easy and I certainly haven't had it privileged!" And I tried to maneuver my way to my feet, and only managed to bring my torso up to my knees before I felt the wind being knocked out of me, and began seeing two of the mystery woman.

Severely disorientated, I collapsed back to the floor gasping, and her chuckling at my expense.

"Awww what's the matter? Little Princess need her servants to help her up?"

I glared furiously at her…. Or what I thought was her. I was still seeing double, so for all I knew, I was fiercely staring down a tree.

Laughing again at me she sighed before helping me up to my feet (wow this girl was stronger than she looks) and hooked her arm around my back, and my own over her shoulders, supporting me as I stumbled clumsily.

I decided I liked this girl. She was feisty, and strong. She reminded me of myself in a way. And because of that, I decided to let her lead me.

We continued hobbling along, no doubt a pathetic sight to any onlooker, and she took me along what I thought was an imaginary path, for I couldn't see anything guiding us… I had been totally lost in the middle of the overgrowth, yet she seemed to know exactly where we were going.

I looked up at her, her strong jaw and defined cheekbones made her look quite intimidating, plus the fact she was just below 6 foot in height… easily dwarfing me. I wondered where the hell she was leading me, and more importantly, whether I could take her in a fight.

She glanced back at me, and just as I'd been studying her, she paused and took me in.

Her eyes scanned my body, head to toe, then back up again.

Was she checking me out?!

My eyes must have portrayed my fear, because she looked at me and began smiling and shaking her head.

"No…. You may be used to everyone else throwing themselves at your feet, but not me Princess." I flinched at the nickname, and felt my blood boil again.

"Relax, woah. Quite the temper you got there. No…. I wasn't checking you out….

You're a dhampir, no?"

I gasped. She… she was a human! How the hell did she know?!

She looked at me sideways and began walking again.

"You're wondering how me, a mere human, knows about the secret vampire race, aren't you?"

I nodded my head enthusiastically, like an idiot, with me being speechless and all.

She continued, "Well, there's something they don't teach in your precious little schools. And there's a place where humans live alongside Moroi and Dhampirs."

I paused, completely stunned.

"So…. Where is it you're taking me?"

I was met with silence, and it annoyed the hell out of me.

"Err…. Hellloooo! I said where the hell are you taking me?"

She brought me to a clearing, it looked like we had only just reached the entrance, but when from this distance, I could see how truly awesome this place was.

I looked around me. It was a truly magnificent and breathtaking scene.

Like something out of a movie.

Flowers bloomed, displaying a variety of bold and beautiful colours, huge leaves sprang up all around us from bushes, and hundreds of trees, tall and formidable lined the path, branches snaking and twisting, creating a beautiful canopy above us. Small creatures crawled around us, and the sound of birds singing laced the air.

It was stunning. It felt so… alive and free.

It was the freedom I had so desperately craved, yet I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I hesitated slightly, causing me to sway and her catching me in her arms.

I stared at her worriedly. I had no idea where she was taking me, and with me being in such a vulnerable and weak state, I was hardly in the position to fight against any potential danger she was leading me to.

She seemed to read this in my panic stricken gaze, and rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on. I'm trying to do you a favour and you stare at me like I'm about to lure you to my hole in the ground and stuff you to hang on the wall."

"You live in a hole?" I wrinkled my nose in disgust and she laughed at me again.

"You really are a little Princess aren't you! God almighty wait till the guys see you."

My body seemed to automatically react to that, even when my mind had no idea why.

I tensed up and flailed my arms in the air, desperately trying to get away from her, and failing miserably when I fell flat on my arse, an occuring theme in my life.

Her light hearted and joking demeanour disappeared, and she looked at me for the first time that night with sympathy.

"What the hell happened to you? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you? Did something happen? Is that why you're...naked?"

I was about to scoff and point out that I still had by jeans and bra on, when I glanced down at my body and gasped. I WAS naked. I had no idea why I was naked, and why I reacted the way I did when she mentioned the "guys" seeing me.

In fact…. I couldn't remember how I ended up here. The last thing I could remember was running away, and taking shelter under a bridge.

I surveyed my surroundings…

Yup. No fucking bridge in sight.

Great. Absolutely great.

I had no idea where I was, why the hell I was naked, and why I was being dragged along by a total stranger.

 _Nice one Rose. Really. Well done._

My mind sarcastically snarled.

"Piss off!" I yelled at the snarky voice in my head, and the girl in front of me immediately reeled back and took offense, I slapped my forehead, knowing I must have accidentally voiced my thoughts.

"Well Sorreeeeee Princess. God you try to do a good deed for once.

And I didn't think Little Princess knew such words, never mind shouted them at sweet innocent people like my good self. Although, I guess it's common for you Royals to speak down to the commoners like me." She folded her arms, huffed, and started storming off in the opposite direction, further into the thick forest area.

I moaned inwardly. It looked like I had

met my match in stubbornness.

I tried to get to my feet, and after serveral clumsy attempts, I hesitantly started hobbling towards her.

"Hey, what the hell crawled up your ass and died!"

I yelled out at her, but she continued

Stalking off.

It was then that I noticed she walked with a limp and I decided to make up a nickname for her of my own.

"Heeyyyyyy!! Hop-a-long!!"

She turned her head sharply around at me.

Gotcha, bitch.

Smirking with smugness at my success, I continued with my taunts, knowing it would keep her attention.

"How'd you do that to your legs? Did they get sprained from being kept open all the time?" I quipped.

….okay. Maybe a bit far. But if this girl was anything like me, then she would not be able to rise above the cheap insult.

And sure enough, she stormed furiously towards me. Bingo.

"Say that again to me. I fucking DARE you."

So I repeated myself. Purposefully drawing out the words painfully slowly.

"I said, did you get sprain the muscles in your legs from keeping open all the time?" I made it quite clear what I was implying.

She leapt at me quickly, nothing compared to the Guardians of course, but still faster considering she was a human and a homeless one at that.

"You know NOTHING about my life!" She growled at me, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me violently.

It took me a while to adjust to spinning world in front of me, before I replied to her.

"Exactly, and you know NOTHING about mine. Don't just leave me here to rot. You know as well as I do it will play on your conscience."

She scoffed at me "You forget Princess, this life has been all I've known for the past seven years. You can't survive here and keep a clean conscience."

Damn. Maybe I'd have to appeal to another thing that would work for me.

Bribery.

"Okay, listen up hop-a-long" she scowled at the name, "I will do anything you want me to do. Just name it. At the moment I have no fucking clue where I am, why I'm naked, and why I appear to have a concussion. So yes, I am willing to do whatever you want for a safe place to stay. Call it returning the favour. "

She seemed to ponder this proposition for a short while, before an evil smirk stretched upon her face.

"Fine, Princess. Let's do this." she grabbed my arm and hauled me further into the clearing.

My feet stopped, stunned and I gasped as I struggled to take in my surroundings.

 _ **DPOV**_

I couldn't stand there any longer, pretending that everything was okay.

I glanced at the clock in the conference room, ten agonising minutes left.

Usually, I could tolerate standing on my feet for hours. I was often chastised and ridiculed for my over zealous work ethic that had turned me into a stone cold workaholic.

But right now…. I felt as impatient as Rose might be, and I couldn't stand the thought of the fact that I was just standing there, doing nothing.

My hands became uncharacteristically clammy, as I balled up my fists and clenched my teeth.

My muscles ached to do do something. Anything.

My body cried out for me to let it run wild, to let it escape these labourous duties, and this time, my mind didn't disagree.

It had been two days since we raided the trafficking ring, and two days since I found out my Roza was missing.

And it was driving me crazy.

I knew I couldn't stay here in court, guarding over one of the many boring and uneventful Moroi council meetings, any longer.

The clock hit five, and I let out a sigh of relief, not waiting a second longer to get the hell out of the stuffy room.

I started walking out of the building, only to find my pace subconsciously quickening, until I was full on running to my apartment, catching the attention of passerby's

The air seemed to be suffocating me, the eyes on me felt smothering, I felt trapped.

What would've usually been a twenty minute walk, took me no longer than five minutes to run.

I fumbled for the keys, my hands trembling with the feeling of asphyxiation, the general court surroundings making me feel like a trapped animal.

I made it into my apartment, practically shoving the door down, almost knocking it off its hinges, and ran into the living room, I laid back on the couch, and took a sigh of relief, inhaling a huge amount of air as of I had just been allowed to breath again.

I felt like a free man in the comfort of my private retreat.

I opened my eyes and looked at my apartment. It was extremely basic, lacking in any sort of luxuries one might desire.

It had a very basic layout: one small lounging area, a kitchen with a small table suitable for meals for one, a bathroom with just the bare minimum necessities (shower, toilet and sink) and a plain, cream and brown themed bedroom.

I haven't changed much since moving in, I didn't see any point in getting cosy and settled here, as I hoped to be moving away on a different task altogether; guarding and protecting the last of the Dragomir line.

The walls were a plain cream colour, the furniture a boring brown. Besides a large bookshelf, full of my one little pleasure I allowed myself (an indulgence in my Western fascination) there was nothing here that would make it homely.

My mind began to torture itself once more, as it so frequently did recently, as it thought bitterly

" _No where will be home without your Roza_ "

I buried my head in my hands

"Roza" I groaned softly.

My dearest Roza. They kept telling us she was gone but…. I felt like I'd feel it, like I'd know if she was dead.

I didn't believe in soulmates, the notion was rather ridiculous to me, that there is only one person out in the world for each one of us. What if they lived in the Congo, when you lived in Germany?

But there was no denying that Roza and I… we had a connection. One that we had tried to deny, tried to ignore and even tried to destroy… but alas it was still there.

And that's what made me think that she was still alive… it was almost as if I could feel her.

I thought… no I knew that if she was dead I would know it.

And if she was alive, which I truly believed she was, then I knew that I had to find her. I was sick of sitting here, everyone telling me that she was gone, and doing nothing. Even if she was gone, then I owed it to her to not give up a search until I knew for certain.

I feared anything could have happened to her, she could be lying somewhere, bloody and on the brink of death, she could have been killed, either consumed by the flames, or at the mercy of the strigoi.

And that itself led to the most terrifying conclusion… maybe she had been turned.

I shuddered involuntarily. The thought broke my heart completely, but I knew that it would break even more if I knew Rose was living a life she had always feared; one of cold blooded murder and sin.

We had made a silent pact to each time there not long ago, deciding that if something had happened to either of us, the other would hunt them down and kill them, rather being dead than one of the undead.

With that thought, I launched myself off the couch, rushing to my bedroom to grab the bare essentials one would need: a passport, cash, warm clothing, water, food, and my stake, naturally.

I was running away.

As I ran across the room finding the necessary items, my mind wandered through fight between Ivashkov and I.

I shook my head, extremely annoyed and disappointed with myself for the way I behaved.

Yes Adrian had a point, on the outside, in the heat of emotions, I could understand how his drunken and intoxicated mind could leap to the conclusion that by Tasha inviting me up to her room, I intended on seeking comfort and companionship in a less than innocent sort of way.

But then again, the man had annoyed me in assuming that my feelings for Rose were futile and so fleeting to the point of me moving on with the nearest woman I could see on the day I found out she was gone.

Surely the man knew that I was not that sort of man at all.

That most certainly had not been my intention in the slightest.

Tasha, before all of the chaos of the proposition to guard and court her broke out, had been a close and dear friend of mine, whom I trusted very much.

Sure, there had been some sort of attraction long ago, and we had a brief relationship, but it was brief for a reason…. I didn't love her, and knew I never will.

Things had been awkward ever since I turned her down, but in that moment, I was too tired with her constant protests at my desire for solitude, and just wanted her to stop. That's why I followed her. That… and I felt like I needed to, though I'm not sure why.

I never did follow her, after punching Adrian.

He soon came round, and to my surprise, never reported me.

He simply asked Lissa to heal him and told me that this wasn't over before storming out.

I had wanted to hand myself in, it was the proper and professional thing to do, but the other part of me, the stronger part told me what good would I be to Rose if I was was being investigated and detained.

But I should never have reacted to him. I should have shown better restaint than that. Yes, he pissed me off but he was intoxicated, emotionally exhausted and mourning Rose.

I should never have hit him.

I hadn't spoken to any of them since then, making a conscious effort to avoid Tasha in particular.

She had told me that she was drunk when she threw herself at me and forced her way into my apartment that night, but it was still incredibly inappropriate for her to have ever gone that far.

Maybe it was unfair of me to blame her for her foolish actions, when she commited them whilst under the influence of drink, but the fact Rose had seen us devastated me.

I worried that the last impression Rose had of me would be that I didn't care about her, when nothing could be further from the truth.

I needed her, my life felt like it was falling apart, like it had no meaning, already in just the two days since I found out she was gone.

I would give anything to hold her in my arms. Being around her, just feeling her presence even if we couldn't be together, wasn't enough any more.

I wanted more.

I finished packing the rest of my belongings, folding them neatly and putting them in the large pockets of my duster.

I quickly walked to the front door of my apartment, I didn't have any plans to let anyone know I was leaving until I was gone. Nothing was going to stop me from my mission to find her and bring her home, bring her back to me.

For the first time for the past three days, I felt the first bit of hope.

My heart leapt and pounded at the excitement and anticipation of seeing her again, but fear and apprehension mixed in too. I needed to know she was safe, I needed to know she was alive.

I reached the door and was just about to turn the handle, when someone beat me to it.

On the outside of the door, stood someone I really did not have the time or patience to see: _Tasha_.

 _Shit. Not again_.

This time, however, I tried to be a bit more civil.

"I have an errand to run and need to leave immediately, please excuse me."

I made to walk past her, but as I reached her side, she suddenly turned around and pinned me against the door frame.

My eyes widened, and I tensed my muscles ready to push her off.

"Tasha I…."

I was cut off.

Her eyes…. Those stunning Ozera eyes… they were hypnotizing.

For some reason, I was captivated by them, and I couldn't look away.

My whole body felt strange…. As if it wasn't my own anymore and I didn't have the same control over it.

"Dimka, you're not leaving are you? Stay. Stay for me Dimka."

I nodded, yet at the back of my foggy mind, something screamed for me to run.

"Tasha, I'm not sure that is a good ide—"

Again I was cut off, this time with one of her manicured fingers pressed against my lips.

I shuddered, but for some reason could not pull away like I wanted to.

I felt my body begin to lose control of itself, and my mind began to cloud over with haziness.

She pushed me back inside of the apartment, and led me to the couch.

She curled up next to me stroking my chest.

I wanted to desperately to move, and my whole body screamed at me to escape, but I couldn't make any of my muscles do as I commanded.

My body tensed and she looked up at me again, putting her small hand under my rough chin, and moving it towards her face.

It was like I was a doll, _**her**_ doll.

"Dimka, relax, you're okay now, you're with me, and believe me, I won't EVER let you go. Not again."

I desperately scrambled to regain control, but it was too late, and the wave washed over me, consuming my entire being.

The last thought I remember having resounded in my mind…

" _I'm so sorry Roza…."_

 _ **What did you guys think?**_ _ **Can anyone guess where Rose has ended up?**_ _ **And do you feel sorry for Dimitri?**_ _ **Please let me know what you guys think!!!!**_ _ **REVIEW!!**_


	16. Chapter 16: Welcoming

**RPOV**

What the hell was this place?

In the middle of nowhere, it seemed, was a little town. And a shabby one at that.

Weird little huts made out of wood and stone lined the makeshift path, and looking above, I could see more houses in the trees, connected by a sort of wooden bridge that did NOT look like it could hold a mouse, never mind the fully grown man currently climbing his way across it.

The place was abuzz with activity, and more people started coming out hearing the argument going on with my present company.

Hop-a-long had led me deep within the forest, and we stood there at the entrance as she explained to two men, apparently guards of some sort, what the situation was.

"Come on! I'm the leader's daughter! Surely I have some authority around here!" She whined querulously.

The guard, a stocky 6 foot 4 dhampir scoffed in her face.

"Oh yeah, and does the leader know about your little 'trip' outside the communes? I'm sure you'll have all the authority in the world from the confines of your room when you're grounded little girl." He laughed, voice dripping with sarcasm.

I was surprised, if she had as much authority as she thought she did, then surely she commanded more respect?

And surely Guardians couldn't speak to her like that?

She stamped her foot on the muddy ground, "I am NOT a little girl!" She said, which was rather ironic considering she was acting just like a spoilt four year old.

We were more similar than I first thought.

The man merely rolled his his eyes in response and said "Listen, you know the rules. You can't just bring random people here, it defeats the objective of staying hidden from the rest of the population."

Hidden? Oh shit…. What the hell have I got myself into?

The man glanced at me, and in very in a very unguardian like manner, started checking me out.

"Although, and I'm sure the rest of the men back at camp would be inclined to agree with me, I'm sure we can make an exception for this little sweet piece of ass"

He winked at me and I flushed a bright hideous red colour, remembering my current naked state.

"Hey!" I yelled at him, quickly getting defensive, trying the cover as much of my body as I possibly could. "What happened to your guardian training? Hardly professional is it?"

Most guardians prided themselves on their professionalism, and would have been embarassed to be called out on it, or lack of it in this case, but this guy merely laughed at me shaking his head.

"Bloodyhell Kaitlin, where the hell did you find this one? She has no clue who the hell we are!"

Kaitlin flushed violently, and was just about to finally give me some answers

"So then we'll tell her!" She turned to me defiant, against the guards protests.

I was confused as hell- the dhampirs weren't guardians?

"Okay Princess, I'm gonna let you in on this, because I like you and I'm bored as hell."

I gestured for her to continue, eager to find out what the hell was going on.

"Alright Princess, we're a secret society, mixed of dhampirs, Moroi and humans, were called the Ke—"

"ENOUGH!"

A voice roared furiously, making bothered Kaitlin and I flinched and jump back several paces.

Whilst I remained scared and confused, Kaitlin quickly regained her cocky composure and crossed her arms.

"Jesus dad, creepy much? It worries me how good you are at sneaking up on people, almost like you've had a lot of practice perving on young girls".

I was liking this girl more and more.

Her dad barely glanced at me, too consumed in his fight with his daughter.

"Don't you dare talk back to me Kaitlin, show some respect.

And I will not tolerate this any longer, the girl knows too much already. Gareth," he addressed the other, shorter guard, "go and get Heidi."

As he ascended the rope ladder, his gracefulness, and the ease in which he did it amazed me.

A small grey haired woman, who looked like a witch from the distance, opened the door, looked at me after exchanging a few words,and made her way down to meet us.

Kaitlin's eyes widened, "No, she's just got here! Please, I don't have anyone here I can talk to! I just want… I just want a friend."

Her voice became uncharacteristically vulnerable with the last sentence, but her dad gave her a cold, scolding look, and greeted Hilda.

Without any more words, Hilda strolled over to me, and up close, I realised just how witch like she was, with a pointed nose, and warts covering her face, she was in good need of a dose of makeup.

What struck me more though, was that she was a Moroi, it was weird enough humans and dhampirs living together. As soon as I met her grey eyes, I felt her beginning to use compulsion, now I understood why Kaitlyn had panicked.

Before I could get pulled in, I snapped myself out of the mini trance, and whirled around to face the leader.

"You were going to make me forget by using compulsion?!" Though I had seen Lissa do it plenty of times, it was still forbidden in Moroi society, and was shocked they had they nerve to try and use it.

He practically spat his next words at me.

"We do not follow your silly little rules girl, our society is not inhibited by such laws.

Hilda, please continue."

However, I was not willing to join in their little game, and refused to look at her in the eyes.

After several minutes, the leader got impatient and ordered the dhampirs to restrain me, and forced me to turn my head towards the witch.

They roughly grabbed my face, enough to leave bruises I'm sure, and as much as I tried to look away, I could feel her pulling me into a state of numbness.

"You will forget everything that has happened today, and everything you have learnt about our society.

You will go to sleep now and wake up far away with no idea where you are or what happened in the past twenty four ho–"

She was cut off by a gentle female voice.

"Hilda! Stop! Jeremy, what have I told you about using her for this!"

Jeremy's hardened face softened as he turned around to face the woman behind us.

She was absolutely stunning. Tall, slim, and incredible copper hair, tied up in an elegant updo. She wore a simple brown dress, that on anyone else, would have looked scruffy, but on her, looked like it was designer. As you could guess, she was Moroi.

The leader- Jeremy was a sharp contrast to her. To begin with, he was human, and had a large rotund belly on him, that poked out prominently over the belt of his pants, he had rounded cheeks, and a small tuft of blonde hair on his head, that he had tried to comb over, and failed miserably in tricking people into thinking he had a head of hair.

More shocking to the contrast between them, was the fact that she sauntered up to him, and gave him a very un PG-rated kiss in front of us all, including their daughter, who looked away disgusted and the guards, who looked a little too entertained.

She broke the embrace, and he gave a dopey, doey eyed look at her, and she smiled, knowing she had him wrapped around her little finger.

"Come on Jeremy, Kaitlin doesn't have any friends, any girls her own age, and Lord knows she's been trying for so long to bring someone back."

Huh, so I wasn't the first one.

I felt a little offended.

Jeremy made some feeble protest, but the woman continued in a seductively deep voice.

"Look at her Jeremy" she turned his face towards me, and his eyes widened and he licked his lips, paying far more attention to my chest than I appreciated.

"Hey! My face is up here, you dirty old bastard!"

He ignored me, and continued leering at me disgustingly.

"You see Jeremy? How stunning she is? I think we could all do with some fresh blood in here. And if Kaitlin's going to keep trying anyway, then why not just let her have her way and we can keep this one? She's far better looking than the other girls we've seen."

He continued to 'study' me, and my skin crawled.

All of a sudden my instinct to trust Kaitlin was being questioned….

What if this was some weird sex cult?

My face must have given away how horrified I was,because Kaitlin quickly rushed to my defense.

"Eeeew dad! Stop staring at her like that. We could quench the thirst of the whole village with the amount of drool coming out of your mouth!"

He came out of his trance, and offered his arms out to embrace me in apology and welcome, hands dangerously close to my ass as he rubbed my back and pressed himself against me, and I mean ALL of him.

 _Gross_.

I hope the greeting isn't part of their whole cult thing they've got going on.

I was just about to headbutt the creep, when Kaitlin came to my rescue.

"I take that as a "Yes, she can stay judging by the hard on. Real classy dad. Wow."

He glared at her, and begrudgingly let go of me as Kaitlin hurriedly began leading us deeper into the commune before he (or I) could change his mind, or molest me further.

It was quite spectacular really, there were so many colours, and the whole little town had a light green glow, due to the few strands of sunlight escaping the leafy canopy above. The houses all looked so feeble and shabbily put together, yet seemed to be built on a strong foundation, looking as if they could withstand anything thrown at them.

And I soon realized it appeared that the people who inhabited the houses paralleled them.

They came pouring out of the houses, a sight not that disimilar to a clown car sketch, where an impossible amount come out of such as small space.

They were all dressed scruffily, and were filthy head to toe.

Yet each person stared at me hard and fiercely.

They looked so fragile, yet somehow seemed to radiate strength.

Kaitlin led me along the path, stopping at what appeared to be the biggest house.

I say biggest…. It still looked as though it could hold two people reasonably comfortable, not the twelve that ran out to greet us.

Vines wrapped around the house, binding the strong pieces of wood together, though it hadn't looked study enough to carry all of the weight.

The guests all either eyed me cautiously or with lust, and sensing how uneasy this made me, Kaitlin ushered me inside, led me up an old set of creaky wooden stairs, and into her bedroom.

It was relatively small, but not too bad considering how big the overall house was. I guessed it was a luxury to have so much 'space' to yourself here.

She walked over to one of the drawers, rummaged through it, and yanked out a long, rather hideous, dark green dress-thing.

She saw my reaction, and immediately started on the defensive.

"Jesus, come on, I've just save your ass again, stop being such a pretentious little Princess and put the damn thing on. Not all of us have access to designer shops or whatever.

And I'd let you have a look at Grace's clothes, but she'd go mad if she knew I'd even so much as looked at it."

She gestured to another small drawer, and my eyes widened in shock.

"You...mean to say that you share this room with your sister?! How the hell do you fit in it?!"

She rolled her eyes at me.

"I share this room with all the women of the house, besides my dad's wife and mistress."

Despite having believed it impossible, my jaw seemed to open even more, nearly hitting the ground.

I didn't know what shocked me more… The fact that all the girls, and I had counted seven, squeezed into this small space and one bed, or the fact that her dad openly lived, and apparently shared a room with his mistress.

This was just way too much to take in.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, what the hell had I got myself into?

I made my way over to the bed and lay down on it, exhausted.

My head was banging from the concussion, and I wanted nothing more than to just close my eyes, and wake up in my own bed at the academy. Preferably on top of a hot Russian God.

I felt the bed dip next to me and opened my eyes to see Kaitlin also lying down, looking extremely fed up.

"I know what you're thinking, how weird we are." she looked at me sadly, and I felt a stab of guilt at my harsh judgement of them. I began to protest, she continued.

"And I don't blame you.

I used to think this life was normal, but then, one time, I accompanied the alchemists back into town, after convincing one of the males to let me accompany them and sneak in the back, and it was fucking amazing.

I saw what life was like outside of the confines, and it suddenly felt like I'd been living a lie for the past sixteen years."

I felt a mixture of confusion, sympathy and curiosity for her.

And though I knew this was a touchy subject for her, my curiosity won out.

"What are the 'alchemists'?" I asked.

She looked at me, shock in those dark green eyes of hers.

"Woah, you really have led a sheltered life. I knew they would never tell you about us in the schools, but I didn't know they hid the alchemists too. They are humans who know about the vampire world, and pretty much just supply us with basic necessities every couple of months to keep us going and to make sure we don't expose ourselves to their world by looking for resources ourselves.. We're due a visit soon in fact, we're running out of food."

I guess that made sense, if I was weirded out by these guys, God only knows how humans would react to them.

But I didn't really know who these guys were, and maybe I had been too judgemental in my initial impression of them.

"What exactly…. Are you?"

She smiled at me, though it never met her eyes.

"We're the Keepers. A hidden society that rejects your mainstream values and rules.

We reject the hierarchy, hence why you've seen humans, dhampirs and Moroi all living together. We are not bound by age old traditions like guardianship, and royalty. We treat everyone equally here, having free and open relationship with everyone."

I couldn't help the short of disgust that left my mouth. Humans…. With Dhampirs, with Moroi?!

And the notion of Dhampirs being equal to Moroi, though ideal, was a completely foreign concept to me.

"We live very basically, as you can tell by our clothing and accommodation. And we're not allowed to leave the commune unless accompanied by one of the elders."

It sounded like a load of narrow-minded cult mumbo jumbo to me. They seemed trapped, restricted and foolish for believing and following all of this.

She gave me a questioning look, some hurt in her eyes by my reaction, and I hurried to explain myself.

"I… don't get the interbreeding thing. That's weird to me.

But the lack of social hierarchy? That's just plain crazy.

It's been drilled in to us ever since I can remember that 'They come first'. And I can't imagine a life where I'm not guarding a Moroi and risking my life for theirs."

She gave a dark laugh and began mocking me

"This is ridiculous to you? THIS?!

You've just described being brainwashed Princess, by the same people who want you to risk your lives for theirs? And you don't think that's ridiculous?"

She continued laughing and mocking me, and much to my greatest annoyance, I half realised she might have a point.

We were told never to question our duty, and never to question our place in society.

But…. What if we did live equally like they did here. Okay, so not exactly like they did, I liked electricity and donuts too much for that, but… what if dhampir and dhampir relationships weren't frowned upon, if our duty wasn't put before our own wants?

What if… if Dimitri and I could truly be together without the judgement, or fact that that we have to protect the lives of our charges, as opposed to each other?

My head was pounding at this point, with the concussion and all the new information being thrown at me.

I turned to Kaitlin, realising that I had never thanked her for her hospitality, and probably came off as an ungrateful bitch. She had been kind to me, and it felt good to have a friend here in such a weird environment.

"Hey… listen." I touched her elbow lightly and her head jerked up at me. We had been lying in silence for the last few minutes, both of us wrapped up in our own thoughts.

I continued. " I wanted to thank you for… well everything. I had no idea where I was and how I ended up there. And if it weren't for you… Lord knows what might have happened to me."

She smiled mockingly at me, "Awwww, princess getting all soft on me now? Last thing I need is another admirer." She winked at me and I laughed at her, muttering "you wish" under my breath.

"Listen…. I'll let you get some rest, a break from all the craziness. I have no doubt this must seem pretty weird for you, but I wanna say thank you too. I've not… well. It's lonely and boring as hell, and I'm looking forward to having you around."

She smiled brightly, and almost sweetly at me, and I gave a small smile back, knowing at the back of my mind that I could never stay here.

"Anyway, I had better go down and warn them all to leave you alone for a bit. You'll need your rest before you meet them."

I gulped and she giggled, before leaving the room and closing the battered door behind her.

I sighed, peace at last. This whole experience had been both physically and mentally exhausting, and I was still freaked out as to why I was here in the first place.

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath to steady my nerves. I missed Lissa, I missed Adrian, I missed Eddie.

Hell, I even missed Christian.

But most of all, I missed him. But I had to keep reminding myself that it was better that I ran away.

He could move on with Tasha, and they would be happy.

My mind replayed the kiss, and I knew that I had made the right decision to leave.

I would check in on Lissa tomorrow,

But for now, my mind couldn't cope with anymore.

Tiredness eventually took over, and I prayed to God that this little sleep gave me the strength to deal with whatever was thrown at me tomorrow.


	17. Chapter 17: Surprise (RPOV)

"Aaaaarggghhhh!"

I woke up gasping for air, I felt like I was being drowned.

I rubbed my eyes to clear the water from my face, and saw several faces surrounding me.

Before I could inspect any further, my head was dunked back under again.

The shock caused me to inhale the water, and I rose to the surface spluttering and struggling to catch my breath. Just as I was about to recover, I was forced back under again.

This continued for several minutes, until I was eventually hauled out of what appeared to be a barrel, by two strong hands on either side of me.

I was then dragged further along the path….

...wait a minute! How the hell did I end up outside? Last thing I knew I was lying flat out on the grubby bed in that small room. Fast asleep.

Is this what Kaitlin meant by 'I'd need the rest?'

I'll fucking kill her!

It was pitch black, and the path was only dimly lit by torches lined along either side of it, placed every couple of feet.

I was presented in front of what appeared to be a hot bed of coals…. Oh hell no.

I was poked and proded, and I tried to do everything within my power to stay on the nice cool ground, but one of the men restraining me slapped my arse, and I gave a yelp, and accidentally stood on the burning hot coals.

"Owwwwwww! Ahhhh! FUCK ME!"

I screamed, the pain was unbelievable against my bare feet.

I hopped around, alternating feet, looking no doubt like a raving lunatic, trying to stop the coals from searing and burning my skin.

I flailed about, swearing and condemning them all to hell, before I made it to the other end of the path, collapsing to the floor with the pain from my feet.

I was picked up and thrown in waist deep water, and despite my feet instantly feeling the benefits of the satisfying "tsssszzz" sound from the contact of the heat of my feet and ice cool water, my body suddenly froze in a state of shock, the ice cold water almost seemed to burn more than the coals. I felt my muscles seize up, and a numbness creep up my body.

The bucket was then tipped over, and I clumsily slid to the the ground, not before being hauled up again and pushed onto the next form of torture.

I groaned loudly when I saw what awaited me next.

And groaned even more when I noticed the whole fucking village had turned up to see me and my humiliation.

Just wonderful.

I was now recovering from my shock, and drew the line at the next 'stage' in whatever the hell this was.

A creepy little old man gave me a toothless grin as he licked his lips and made a step towards me.

I looked around and noticed another girl, stark bollock naked, greased up in oil glaring at me, in what appeared to be a makeshift wrestling ring.

Oh hell no.

I started backing up waving my arms in front of me showing them I was not interested.

"Woah woah woah guys. I don't even want to know what the fuck this stage is" the creepy old man wiggled his eyes suggestively at me, and gestured to the contents of the barrell he was holding, and I realised he damn well wanted to grease me up too. Bloody pervert!

"Shows over folks. I've had enough. Glad I've been able to provide some light entertainment for you all, but I've got a couple of dress rehearsals tomorrow and autographs to sign, so If you'll excuse me, I think I'll be heading off to my quarters now." I gave a dramatic bow, before attempting to make off in any direction away from this madness.

I only made it three steps before being yanked back and restrained by two strong burly men beside me.

"Newcomer" a booming voice sounded out ahead of me, and I looked up and saw Jeremy standing in front of me, anger glistening in his eyes.

"You wish to be a part of this commune, and as of such, you must complete the series of trials set by our predecessors, in the event that we must welcome a new, outsider addition to our society. These are age old traditions, and one must abide by them."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes in true Rose Hathaway fashion.

"Thought your kind shunned 'old traditions'? I retorted, rendering him temporarily speechless.

Point one for Hathaway.

He scrambled to find his words, knowing if caught him.

"You… you know nothing of our society.

Stand her up" he addressed the two men restraing me, "it's time for her to fight our strongest female member, to see if she is worthy enough to join us."

My eyes widened, me, and another woman, naked, all oiled up, fighting each other….

This is what middle aged porn must've looked like.

I had wondered with their lack of electricity, how they got their fix.

Well there was no fucking way I was gonna be that.

I kicked out in front of me, and Jeremy fell to his knees in pain, clutching his stomach as he rubbed over the spot I had hit him.

Point two for Hathaway.

Gasps enveloped me, and I could feel people tensing, and edging towards me.

I too tensed, and prepared for battle.

The two guards came on me first, and as one of them launched a punch at me, I dropped to the ground and, using my arms as leverage, snaked my foot behind his ankle, and swiped him over. The other one was fast upon me, and he landed a swift kick to my side. It hurt like hell, but I knew that he thought he knew my weakness, and would go for the other side, but I dodged him just in time, spinning around so that I was behind him. I jumped on his back and put him in a strangling headlock.

He soon lost his breath, and fell to the ground unconscious.

I didn't have time to feel guilty over my actions, because several more people were on me.

Both men and women attempted to subdue me, but I had far superior training, by a God no less, so my reflexes and speed were much more refined.

They were good fighters, don't get me wrong, but they were sloppy.

Their fighting style was scrappy rather than controlled, and thus, they had the strength, but did not have the skill to effectively put it into good use.

I dodged the sloppy punches with ease,

However, they had strength in numbers, and although by this point, I must've taken out half of the commune, fatigue from lack of rest and food, and let's not forget the concussion, was beginning to show, and I found myself unable to hold off their attempts to restrain me any longer. A moroi woman came at me, and pulled my hair, and I cried out in pain, I attempted to struggle free, but with every attempt, the pull on my hair intensified, and the pain became all the more excruciating. A man then grabbed my legs and pulled me up into the air, and the carried me over to Jeremy.

They plonked me down roughly, and I knew I didn't have the energy or fight in me to try and get away again.

Jeremy looked at me disdainfully.

"So dhampir girl, we greet you with hospitality, we let you enter our home, use our rooms, let you know our world, and this is how you repay us?

And where did that get you?"

He spoke, voice attempting to give off an amused expression in front of the crowd, but in reality I could tell he was still megaly pissed off about the fact I had managed to land him one.

I remained quiet, and I was ashamed at how weak I was.

I bet Dimitri would never fall like this.

If he saw me now…. God, it didn't bear thinking about what the look on his face would do to me.

Jeremy's voice turned serious now, and his next words were met with cheers from the crowd. Or those that were still conscious anyway.

"Take her away. I will not stand for this nonsense any more.

I will not have such ungratefulness and brattish behaviour on my land. Be gone girl!" he gestures at the guards to drag me away with a flick of his wrist and began turning his back on me.

"Jeremy!"

The voice sounded breathless, but I recognised it instantly.

And sure enough the stunning Moroi woman, his mistress (God knows how he pulled her) ran hurriedly towards him.

He turned away from her sulking.

"No Sarah! I have had enough! I shall not let you interfere in the matter any more. You suggested she stays and look what she's done."

He spread his arm out, gesturing to the many people sprawled out in the ground I had rendered unconscious.

She looked at him excitedly, eyes glistening with joy.

"Yes, look what she's done! She managed to do that after the condition we found her in.

And if she can do that now… imagine what she can do at her best!"

His anger rose, nostrils flaring unattractively as he whirled around to face her.

"No, I know where your mind is heading with this, and I won't have it!"

She looked at him, pleadingly this time, and If I wasn't mistaken, she was quite possibly using a small amount of compulsion too.

"I know you think we are invincible, and yes, we are generally left alone. But there were so many of those… undead monsters last time. And we were unable to protect ourselves, or more importantly, those poor girls that were taken. Only two of the girls came back. Two out of the nineteen taken.

They had been abused, physically and sexually, and kept prisoner by them and humans and moroi."

Tears brimmed her eyes, and for some strange reason, I felt something tug in my heart, as if this struck a chord with me, but… nothing came to mind.

I guess I was just a bit more sensitive than I thought, deaths always came as a shock to me, no matter how often it was drilled into our heads that we would encounter it often on our journey as guardians.

Yet this… this felt like it meant more than just sympathy for those girls and families, like it ran deeper within me. But I couldn't place my finger in it.

Jeremy shook his head, sadness consuming his features too.

"That is something that we… That I shall never recover from. The fact that Janey will never come back to me will haunt me every day for the rest if my life." I realised the extent of his words, he too must have lost his daughter the day the Strigoi, or 'undead monsters', took them. He straightened himself, resolve set in his eyes once more

"But we will be stronger, we have already started strength training. We do not need this girl to protect us."

She made to turn away again, but this time she cupped his cheeks, and I knew for sure that she was using compulsion.

"Let her stay, we can continue our training, maybe even let this girl teach us." He began to protest weakly ,something about not wanting to turn into guardians, but she hushed him again.

"We will never be like them. We will make sure everyone learns to fight.

And so long as we treat everyone equally here, we will never end up like them."

Just then a second woman made her way across the crowd, carrying a small bundle.

On closer inspection, I saw she was carrying a small child, and was human.

She was incredibly plain looking, with weathered skin and blonde hair, yet she seemed to capture the same amount of awe and attention from Jeremy.

She must be his wife.

God, this place was like a bloody episode of Jeremy Kyle.

"Please Jeremy, we can not cast another girl out on her own. What if she gets taken too, how can we have that on our conscious?"

She gently placed her hand on his arm, and the contact seemed to make something inside of him shift.

And suddenly, the barrier he had kept up, seemed to dissolve at her words as he looked at her lovingly.

I guess I knew now why he hadn't ditched the wife for the mistress, he seemed to completely adore her.

The Moroi woman looked more than a little pissed, her compulsion being rendered useless against the other woman's power over then man.

Jeremy reluctantly looked at me and simply nodded, walking away without a further word. The two women traipsing after him.

The crowd quickly disbanded, attending to the medical needs of those I'd injured.

People looked at me distrustfully, glaring at me as I tried to find my way back to Kaitlin's home, to desperately get away from all of this chaos.

Just as I thought I'd made it to the front door safely, I was sucked into Lissa's head, pulled by a strong emotion.

She was stood in the small chapel at the academy.

It was a dismal place usually, dark and dusty, with the odd person dotted about.

Dimitri was one of those people, he had told me he wasn't particularly religious, but had attended services because it reminded him of the time he spent with his family, in Baia, where they would attend church weekly.

I wanted to search for him, but Lissa's eyes had focused on a small vase of flowers in front of her.

They were roses. Beautiful, bright red ones. I didn't care for them myself,being a means of acquiring my attention by over eager pusuitors, they had become associated with leering perving boys.

Lissa scoffed at them. A burning hatred coursing through her.

Rose would never have wanted these, she thought, but the stupid fucking school decided they knew her better than she did, her best friend since she can remember.

Woah, Lissa was really pissed, she hardly ever swore, and only did so when consumed by strong emotions.

Both happy and sad, as I had the displeasure of finding out when being sucked into her head in the throes of passion with fireboy.

But this emotion…. It was unlike anything I'd seen from her before.

She was extremely sad, despondent.

She was crushed, heartbroken.

And yet… and yet I felt no darkness, and come to think of it, I hadn't heard Lissa try to contact me.

Like, at all.

Oh shit.

Was…. Was the bond broken?

No… Or else I wouldn't be here, inside her head.

So what happened?

Just then Christian gently placed his thumb under her chin and lifted her head up to meet his eyes.

"Did you…." he didn't seem to want to continue the sentence, and she didn't look happy with whatever it was he was also going her about.

"Yes,I took them" she snapped harshly.

Took them? Took what exactly?

Wait a minute. She doesn't mean…

We had discussed taking drugs before, but she has always been reluctant, taking them would take away her darkness sure, but it would take away her spirit, quite literally. She didn't want to take it because she felt that it would take away a part of her, the part that was most alive.

Sure, the darkness overwhelmed her sometimes, but the feeling of euphoria she got when she used her spirit….

It was unlike anything else she'd ever experienced, and she didn't ever want to part with it.

That's why I was confused now, what could have happened that meant she would change her mind? Did… did Christian tell her about the darkness, about me taking it away?

Is that why she stopped?

My thoughts were interrupted when the priest cleared his throat. He was an elderly man, dressed in white with those weird pieces of material hanging over his shoulders.

They were black.

That meant this was a funeral, but who died?

His deep, frail voice sounded out across the church.

"We are gathered here today, to celebrate the life of a dear beloved soul…"

 _Come on, come on, spit it out already_ ….

"Someone who was cherished by so many….

 _Jesus Christ, this was like a fucking game show_.

 _I half expected him to whip out a microphone, step in the spotlight and cry out in an overly dramatic voice,_

 _"AND THE WINNER IIIIISSSSSS…"_

"Someone who will be missed by all of us here."

 _Oh come on! The tension is fucking killing me here!_

"Someone who touched all of our lives, in ways we shall never forget…."

 _GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT!_ I mentally screamed at him.

This was no doubt likely to put me in the bad books of the big guy upstairs, swearing at a priest and all.

"A beautiful and lively spirit, one that God decided to welcome into his kingdom earlier than any of us expected,

Miss Rosemarie Hathaway"

 _Wait_.

 _What_.

Lissa's eyes welled up, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to comfort her, to tell her this was someone's sick joke.

I had only disappeared for God's sakes.

Why would everyone assume I'm dead?

Luckily, Christian already had his arms around her, and she drew strength from him, without the support of his arm, no matter how scrawny might I add, it seemed to be enough to hold her upright.

The priest droned on for ages, and Lissa couldn't bring herself to listen to a man, who knew nothing about me, tell a half assed rendition of my life story.

She had felt the same way when her parents and brother died.

And that's why, when the priest called her name to say a few words about me, she wanted to be sure that everyone knew how incredible I was, like she wished she could've done with her family.

She tried to be brave. Brave and strong like I would be.

She held her head up high, and met the gazes of everyone else in the room.

I was shocked to see it was full, full of students, teachers, close friends.

But there two people missing here.

Two people I needed to see more than anyone.

My mum was one of them, and I couldn't help but scold myself for ever thinking that she cared enough to turn up today, after all, she never made the effort the rest of the time. Why would she come here to celebrate my life, when she knew nothing about it?

And no matter how much I knew my mum was a cold hearted bitch, with all the maternal instincts and love of a brick wall, this still hurt far more than I ever expected or wanted it to.

How sad was that?

My own mum didn't love me enough to attend my funeral.

As much as it hurt me, knowing my mum had not attended, it was the absence of a certain other person that upset me the most.

 _Dimitri_.

As Lissa's scanned her audience, preparing for her speech, I used the opportunity to scout for Dimitri- his 6 foot 6 stature was hardly missable.

And yet, he wasn't there

Was he too upset?

I knew that if he died, my whole world would be broken…. But I also knew that I would attend his funeral, out of respect….

And I knew he felt the same way.

I was so hurt and confused by this.

Did it mean that he didn't feel the same way about me? That he didn't love me?

But I knew…. I thought I was so sure of how he felt.

 _ **Flashback**_ *

 _They lowered his body into the ground._

 _His marred, contorted body._

 _I recalled seeing it on the alter, in the open casket. His red hair visible from the back of the church._

 _It made him look… so alive. And it only made it all the more sick and twisted that he should die so young._

 _I walked up to his coffin, I wanted to cry for him, he deserved to know how much he touched me, how much I loved him, but not one single tear would fall._

 _I felt strangely numb, like it was too painful to think of him like this._

 _He was one of my best friends, like a brother to me. Yes, we had tried a relationship, and it made it all the worse looking at him here, knowing that the last few moments of his life, he felt rejected. I could have at least tried harder for him right? Or pretended?_

 _The funeral procession went in a slow blur, they had asked me to speak, but I hadn't spoken to anybody about what had happened in Spokane, and I was told it would bring up too much trauma if I spoke about him in the service._

 _So here I was, standing by Mason's coffin. People spoke about how funny he was, how light-hearted and underused he was. How 'fun' he was to be around._

 _But I knew him deeper than that._

 _He was no joke, he had ambitions and aims in life. For instance, I remember after sparring one day, after he had his ass handed to him by me in practice, I told him he'd have to start with the extra practice to get his ass into gear._

 _And he told me, with such fierceness in his eyes, that he would do anything it took to better himself, that he took pride in the fact that he would be the one responsible for saving the lives of people._

 _So no… he was more than just a laugh. His life was no joke._

 _Eventually I got sick of hearing people ramble on like this, and walked over to a secluded park area in the campus._

 _I had only just sat down when I felt a warm, strong hand place itself on my shoulder._

 _I looked up to meet a pair of soft, chocolate brown eyes, and all my numbness, all the feelings I had kept inside escaped me._

 _I sobbed for what felt like hours, I, the student who single handedly killed two strigoi, cried like a little girl in front of her mentor._

 _How embarrassing._

 _I tore myself away from him, wiping my eyes and offering some form of feeble apology when he wrapped his arms around me and lightly scolded me._

 _"Don't you dare apologise Roza, what you have gone through, it is so much more than anyone should have to go through in their life, never mind a person so young, with so much of their life ahead of them."_

 _But I refused to take comfort in my arms, and seeing the hurt in his eyes as I pulled away, I began shouting at him._

 _"NO! Don't you dare look at me like that. With sympathy and pity and love!_

 _I don't deserve it! I don't deserve any of it!"_

 _Dimitri stood up and made his way towards me, "Roza…."_

 _"STAY BACK, STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed in his face and he stood still._

 _"Don't you see?! I don't deserve you, I don't deserve to feel. I don't deserve to live! It should be me in that coffin, not him!"_

 _My voice became quieter as I continued rambling to myself._

 _"It should have been me. It should have been me..it should ha–"_

 _"Roza!" His voice was fierce and cold now, but it was what I needed to get out of my trance. He placed his hands on either side of my face, and I leaned into the warmth of his touch._

 _"You do deserve this life. And like it or not, you have it!_

 _So what are you going to do? Stand here complaining your life away? Is that what Mason would have wanted?_

 _No. It is not. Nor is it what I want."_

 _I stood, shocked at his outburst. It was so uncharacteristically passionate from him, that the best I could do was pathetically mumble in response._

 _"But I'm so weak Comrade. I…I don't know how."_

 _His face, so handsome and perfect, looked so sad and pained, and his eyes looked so warm and loving. And it was his next words that finally got through to me._

 _"Oh Roza, but you are strong. So very strong._

 _You are one of the strongest people I know._

 _Don't ever underestimate yourself. Have faith in what you can do, like I do in you."_

 _And as he took me into his arms again, I collapsed to the floor, taking him with me, him silently holding me, as I continued crying for the second time that night._

 _Over the deafening sound of my wailing I could only just make out his words, spoken so softly and tenderly._

 _"I love you, my Roza, and I promise I will do everything in my power to never let you hurt again."_

 _ **End of flashback**_ *

The sincerity and love in his voice… no. He couldn't have faked that.

So where the hell was he?

I was interrupted once more by Lissa clearing her throat delicately.

Her hands shook as she glanced down at the notes she had made, in her beautiful cursive writing.

Except, to her, they looked like meaningless drabble.

And with a sigh, she took the paper into her hands and scrunched it up, throwing it behind her, stating "Fuck it."

There were a couple of murmurs amongst the crowd, shocked at her unladylike and unroyallike behaviour.

But the sound of her voice next, so sure of herself, so confident and so elegant, quickly shot down the murmurs and whispers, as they all looked at her in awe.

There was no doubt she had royal blood in her.

"We're all here today to celebrate the life of Rose. Well. Let me tell you. The Rose you've heard about today isn't the real Rose.

Yes she was brave, and sweet and passionate.

But she was also a goddamn bitch most of the time too."

This earnt her more gasps from the crowd, and I had to admit, if ever I pictured my funeral, this was not how I thought it would go.

"In fact, most of the time she drove everybody mad. With her childish tantrums, short temper, and the way she knew just how to get under your skin."

She continued on her insults of me, and I swear to God if ever I saw her again, I would punch that pretty little face of hers.

"I remember this one time." _Oh God_.

"She was in her room going mental, because she'd lost her favourite bra.

She started screaming at me, interrogating me. And soon her interrogation stretched out to the whole school.

Anyone who even so much as glanced at her, she pinned up against a wall, claiming that they were a thief and a pervert.

This went on all day, and most of the male population ended up with black eyes or soiled pants.

Eventually the school day ended, and she retired back to her room. Locking herself inside, but I could hear her throwing things about in temper."

Oh crap. I just remembered what happened. Surely she wouldn't tell them at my funeral….

"I begged her to let me inside, and after several minutes of arguing, she reluctantly unlocked the door.

She continued ranting and raving. Getting undressed, ready for bed as she did so.

And as she took off her top, I buried my head in my hands.

She put her hands on her hips and gave me that famous Hathaway sass of hers: "What's the matter? Never seen tits before? Oh. I forgot you're Moroi."

I rolled my eyes at her, and merely turned her around, facing the mirror. I'm sure you all know where this is heading "she smirked, shaking her head at the fond memory.

She paused for dramatic effect,

"Yes! She had it on the entire time!"

The room erupted into laughter.

Great. What a fantastic way to be remembered.

Rose Hathaway: Gigantic ass.

I was just about to pull out of her head, deciding that I was so not in the mood for this, when she spoke again, serious this time.

"Yes, Rose was all of those I wouldn't change a thing about her. She was so passionate, she was so alive. And that's what made her Rose.

She didn't give a damn what anyone thought about her. She was fearless, powerful, wild. And I wouldn't have wanted her any other way.

She was so beautiful, and could turn the head of any man in any room."

Christian scoffed at that point, and Lissa shot him a deadly stare, shutting him up immediately.

"And she was dedicated to her life protecting me, and she always put others first.

She was selfless, she was courageous, and there is not a goddamn thing that I would have changed about her.

She was my best friend, my sister.

People often ask if if I regret choosing to bring her back from the dead that night my family died."

Her voice began to waver here, but she tried her best to remain strong.

"And my answer is: no.

I could not have imagined my life without her. She has helped me in more ways that I deserve, she has been the best companion one could hope for in life. She is just as much a part of my family as everyone else in that car.

I hope that wherever she is now, she is at peace. That she is up there in heaven, surrounded by hot topless guys feeding her chocolate donuts."

This earnt her a few more laughs.

"But mostly, I hope that she is living her life up there the way she wants, because it seems so cruel that she should have it ripped away from her so young.

I have no doubt she will never be forgotten amongst our society.

She sacrificed herself for the lives of hundreds of women, and will go down in history as a warrior.

I could not be prouder of her, and though I'll be forever pissed that she was taken away from me so soon, I know that she would have wanted to die in such a badass way.

If you can hear me now Rose, know that you will never ever be forgotten, that you have a place in everyone's hearts, and that I will always love you."

She stepped away from the altar and looked around the room. She was unsure of how her speech would be received, it was far from the way people would expect a young royal woman to act, yet she was pleasantly surprised at the response.

Everyone had tears in their eyes, even good old Stan, and he hated me.

She felt the first little piece of happiness she'd felt all day. Knowing that she'd conveyed not only her love for me, but the way she wanted me to be remembered.

I was so unbelievably touched by her words.

My own flesh and blood may not have given a damn about me. But suddenly none of that mattered.

Lissa, my best friend and sister, gave me all the love a girl could ask for, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world knowing that you had someone like that in your life.

The service went by, several other people spoke, Eddie, Mia, Adrian and even Fireboy. All of them sweet and emotional.

It was incredibly weird seeing my funeral play out like that. Especially seeing as…. Well I wasn't dead. Obviously.

And as much as I was touched by it all, I was desperate to get back to them, to reassure them that I am 100% alive and well.

But then Christian spoke to Lissa.

This was at the 'afterparty' type thing. Lissa felt incredibly uncomfortable, and wanted to just retired back to her room and cry.

Christian seemed to sense this, and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist, taking her outside the building where they were alone.

Lissa leant against the wall, closing her eyes, focusing on the cool feeling of the brick against her skin.

Christian leant beside her, where they both stood in silence for several moments.

"I'll never get used to the idea that she's just gone. Just like that."

Lissa's voice broke the silence.

She felt his warm hand slide into hers and leant into him.

"Neither will I" came his short reply.

And they both continued to just stand there, not feeling the need to say anything else.

Their first peaceful moment of the day was interrupted by the sound of heavy, uneven footsteps making their way towards them.

Lissa opened her eyes and saw Adrian, off his head on alcohol, staggering towards them.

My heart broke when I saw him. He looked crushed.

Heavy bags lay under his eyes, and his hair, usually styled within an inch of its life, was unintentionally messy. His collar was undone, and stains from the alcohol he'd been drinking laced his crisp white shirt.

"You know, you really shouldn't be drinking on the antidepressants." She said to him.

He threw his arms up dramatically and shrugged at her, "You should try it Cousin, really gives you a sensational buzzing feeling. Lord knows we could both use it right now."

He took out a bottle of whiskey out of his jacket (God knows how he fit it in there) and took a long swig of it, coughing, spluttering after he swallowed.

"Lameass party in there man. Shame Rose couldn't make it. She would've really livened up the place." He took another swig and hiccuped, swaying as he drank.

Lissa flinched at his words, and Christian stepped in.

"Adrian, you should really go home, and preferably with someone. I don't care if it's with some cheap chick, just don't be alone tonight."

Adrian roughly pushed him off, but the force mostly affected him, as he stumbled backwards.

"I'm fine man. It's all fine. And besides, I'm not like her precious cradle robber."

 _Dimitri_? My ears pricked up.

"Jumping into bed with your dear aunt I hear. Fancy that! Finding out the supposed love of your life has died one minute, and skipping the country with another woman the next!"

He chuckled darkly to himself, and Christian lost his temper.

"What the hell are you saying Adrian?!"

Adrian looked at him stunned momentarily.

"You mean you don't know?!"

Christian merely growled in response and Adrian quickly explained.

"Dimitri…. He's taken up Tasha's offer of being her guardian, and lover no doubt. I've not seen either of them for ages now, but rumour has it, they've already left. I heard they plan to get married and all that shit.

Never knew what Rose saw in that big russian ape."

"If only… she tried it with me…"

He continued drinking from the whiskey bottle, rubbing away the tears that were streaming down his face at this point.

Lissa and Christian were both shocked, well. Christian was more pissed that his aunt had left when he needed her, more than anything.

But nothing compared to the shock and hurt that hit me then.

So that's why he wasn't there? He was too busy shacking up with that bitch! I wanted to feel angry at him, scream and shout.

But I just couldn't.

I felt completely empty.

It all suddenly became too much for me, and I quickly pulled out of Lissa's head.

My eyes adjusted to my own vision. And I noticed that my eyes were red raw and stinging like crazy, and my cheeks were wet from crying.

Kaitlin and her whole family stood around me, worried expressions lined their faces.

"Rose…" Kaitlin's voice sounded out laced with concern and fear.

"...are you okay?"

I suddenly felt completely drained, and the only thing that I could muster the strength to say was a very strangled "no", before I wrapped my arms around her, and sobbed uncontrollably like I did that day of Mason's funeral.


	18. Chapter 18: Forget-me-not

**_Author's note:_**

 ** _Thank you all so much for your support again! It's been a bad week really, I've hurt myself again... so I'm sorry I've not updated this one_** **_as soon as I had hoped to._**

 ** _Your supportive reviews... they make such a difference. Thank you all so much again. I feel truly humbled and honored to have such wonderful followers._**

 ** _Also, I have another story out, set in Victorian times, called "Riches and Rags" and I would love it if you took the time to check it out!_**

 ** _PLEASE keep the reviews coming; any ideas or suggestions welcome :)_**

 ** _Thank you,_**

 ** _E xxx_**

 ***6 Months Later***

RPOV

"WHAT. THE. HELL. IS THAT?!" I exclaimed.

Kaitlin proded it with a stick and grunted in response.

"Stop doing that, please!" I shouted at her, this was beyond gross.

"I'm just checking it's dead though."

"Gee, the fact that it's not budged an inch, has flies swarming around it, and half its neck is bitten off might be a clue!"

We had stumbled across the poor creature whilst on our nightly scavenge for food. It usually just involved berry picking, but the Alchemists still hadn't arrived to deliver the food and other supplies.

"Think we can eat it?" She pondered to me.

"EEEEeeeewwwwww! God knows how long it's been there! You're vile"

She glanced up at me, amused. "Hey! No one said you had to stay here!"

That part was true- I hadn't been forced into staying here, and in fact, I was extremely grateful that they had all welcomed me and accommodated me with such eagerness, after the initial dislike they had taken to me, of course.

The truth was, after hearing what that bastard had done, straight after my supposed funeral too, I couldn't handle thinking about them any more. I stopped slipping into Lissa's head, though I could still feel her emotions coming through the bond, and I fully immersed myself in life here at the commune.

I helped out as much as I could. I scavenged for food with Kaitlin, I helped collect wood for the fire, and every morning, at sunrise, I took parts of the commune out and we practised combat skills.

They were coming along nicely too, everyone here was eager to fight. It surprised me how willing even the Moroi were, and how much improved they were.

And I felt a sense of true accomplishment, knowing that I had made a difference to these people's lives.

I felt proud of myself, for not letting it beat me, for trying to move on from that horrible night.

 ** _*Flashback*_**

"What is it?! What's happened Rose?!"

Her panic stricken eyes bore into mine, but I couldn't shake myself out of my state of hysteria and shock. I began mumbling incoherently. "H...h..how could be? I... thought h-he loved me" I wailed even louder, throwing my arms around her. Yes, I was being pathetic, but I thought that I kinda had a right to lose the tough girl exterior I worked so hard to perfect, just for now.

"Sssshhhhh, there there, we'll sort it out, it will all be okay." She stroked my hair soothingly, but it did little to calm me down.

I was crushed and heartbroken. I had loved him so much and given him everything I had. I was prepared to give my life for him, to trust him wholeheartedly like I had no other.

But most of all, I felt embarrassed. Mortified that I had allowed myself to fall for him, when all he ever did was break my heart.

It was HIM who refused us a relationship.

It was HIM that messed me about, telling me he adored me utterly one moment, then condemning me the next.

And it was HIM that lied to me. Told me he loved me, deceived me into loving him, before leaving me as soon as I was out of the picture.

I chastised myself for ever allowing myself to fall in love with him like that.

But how could I not? He was the definition of perfect. With that gorgeous long brown hair of his, those dark soulful eyes, his powerful and perfectly sculpted body. And if it was just his looks that captivated me, then there was a chance this wouldn't hurt so much. But it was more than that, my love for him ran deep within me, and thus did the pain. I loved his whole being. He was kind, patient, funny and smart. He was brave and humble, sweet and strong. And he always knew just what to say to me, how to make everything better. Or at least, up until now he did. Because apparently that was a lie. Everything was a lie. Every lustful glance, every stolen kiss, every precious and sweet moment we shared. Lies.

And yet, the thing that hurt the most was that I still loved him. I knew I probably always would.

He could move on with his life, without a second thought about me, and I would spend the rest of my life trailing after something that would never be.

"Okay, let's get you inside, it's beginning to rain."

She tried to help me up, but I felt too weak, too numb, as if the news that he had gone paralyzed me.

A strong pair of arms wrapped beneath me, and, for a second, I allowed myself to pretend that they were his. But when I was placed down on the grimy old bed upstairs again and opened my eyes to see a burly bearded man looking at me like I was insane, the pain I felt when I realized it wasn't him was worse than any I had experienced before.

It hit home then. HE was gone. HE wasn't coming back. HE didn't care or love me. _It_ was over. If there was even an ' _It'_ to begin with.

And that pain, the pain from getting my hopes up, to then getting them crushed, nearly destroyed me.

And it was then that I decided, in that moment, that I would never EVER get my hopes up again. I would not dream about him, think about him, or hope that he would come back to me...No, I wouldn't do that to myself again.

I had told Kaitlin what had happened that night. I told her everything. The bond between Lissa and I, us two running away until eventually being found by him and the academy, Dimitri's and I's forbidden romance, and how he broke my heart and eloped with another woman, when I was supposedly barely cold in the ground.

And after I allowed myself to cry some more, I vowed that I would not let a man weaken me, that I would grow stronger and tougher than ever, and if I ever saw his sorry ass again, he would know just what he had missed. After that... Kaitlin and I promised to never bring him up again.

 ** _End of flashback_** *

"I am NOT eating that man."

Kaitlin shrugged, "More for me then bitch."

I laughed, "Come on, we need to bring what we've found back to camp." We both glanced down at our measly findings. A couple of handful of berries and what ever the hell that animal was... if it was even edible.

We both simultaneously sighed. There was no way for us to contact the Alchemists, so we just had to survive on barely anything until they came.

We strolled back to camp, taking our time to admire the solitude and quiet beauty of the forest. As much as I enjoyed the constant distraction the commune life offered, the non-stop action and people could be quite inundating sometimes.

We were welcomed back to the camp with open arms.

"AHHhhhh, Rosie, Kaitlin! About time, the fires on, and your mother is cooking the leftover broth from yesterday." Jeremy exclaimed.

That's right, Jeremy the complete and utter dick now treated me like his own daughter, and even went so far as to come up with his own affectionate nickname for me... 'Rosie'. Which I absolutely hated with a passion.

"Rosie" I shuddered, "Come sit next to me my dear." Jeremy gestured for me to sit next to him for the meal, whilst Kaitlin offered up the small animal we found to Jeremy's wife, Shelia, who was the commune's cook, and who, to my greatest horror, smelt the animal, winced at the putrid smell, but continued to chop it up and put it in the broth.

Desperate times call for desperate measures I guess.

"So..." He placed a hand on my knee and I grimaced. He had taken a particular liking to me, despite claiming he saw me as a daughter, and was way too touchy feely for my liking. "How's the hunt for a partner going?" He winked at me, and I snorted in disdain. I made a show of placing his hand (which had been edging dangerously close Northward bound) on his own knee. "No... I'm not looking for anything like that. Too much work, too much effort, too much commitment"

I had hoped that this would put off any more of his advances, but much to my dismay, he cosied himself up to me, and whispered in my ear, "Who says you have to commit to anything? You could just have a bit of innocent and harmless fun with someone." Once again, the hand went back on my knee, clearly telling me that he thought that someone should be him, I shook my head and told him very bluntly, "Nope" I said, popping the 'p', "innocent and harmless 'fun' doesn't appeal to me either."

This wasn't the first time he had made advances towards me, and if it weren't for the fact he was the leader and could throw me out of the commune, which was all I had at the moment, I would have beaten the hell out of him.

He chuckled to himself and lent in to me, "We can easily arrange something a little more... aggressive and dirty, really it doesn't surprise me that a girl like you would be into that sort of thing."

Just then, Dan sat next to me. He was Jeremy's son... the one he'd had with his Moroi mistress. So he was considerably more attractive than the other siblings. He was two years older than me, and although he was a little on the asshole side, we had found ourselves growing quite comfortable with each other.

"Hey Rose, the lads and I were struggling to remember that one combat technique you taught us, you know that one with the spinning kick?" I knew he was trying to come up with an excuse to get me away from his dad.

My eyes lit up, and I quickly caught on to what he was suggesting. "Oh yeah! Well, I can come and give you several demonstrations now if you like?" My eyes searched for his pleadingly, and I did my best puppy dog eyes impression that usually worked on any man, but Dan also had a devilish side to him.

He glanced between his dad and myself, and mock gasped "Oh God! I'm so sorry! I didn't realize you were _busy_ with my father. Never mind Rose. Catch you later." Just before he turned around to take off, he winked at me and smirked. That asshole!

"Dan... DAN!" I shrieked, a little too desperately, drawing the attention of the rest of the people at the campfire, which was slowly beginning to fill up.

I blushed at the embarrassment, and Dan gave a little laugh. He began walking off. I hissed at him, trailing behind him. "You're a gigantic dick, you know that right?" He just ignored me, that anoying smirk still on his face.

"UURRRGGGHHHH!" I wailed dramatically. "Plllleeeaaasssseee Dannnn, I beg of you, don't leave me there with that man!"

He turned around at me smiling, " Oh my, and stop having a smoking hot woman beg to be with me? No... I think I'm enjoying this much more."

I scrambled after him, and placed my hand delicately on his chest, and the other on his hip, pushing my body against his. "Come on, Dan, let me show you all kind of moves" I murmured in his ear seductively in my best impression of a deep and husky voice.

It seemed to work, as his eyes widened and his mouth gaped open. He merely nodded and led me away from the camp area.

A little part of me felt guilty flirting with other men. But I had to keep reminding myself thay I was free to do what I like, that I wasn't chained to anyone, and I didnt owe anyone anything.

He led me to a private, secluded spot, a five minute walk away from the camp, and just like always, he located the tree with the subtle, wooden footholds nailed onto it, and we both climbed up.

It was a place we went to, that no one else knew about. I had caught him climbing up here actually, and he had begged me not to tell anyone where his secret hideout was, and I accepted on the condition that I was allowed to join him.

When we both climbed up the tall tree, him exhausted and panting for breath, we both plonked ourselves on large, thick branch, that gave us a breathtaking view above the forest leaves.

We could see the sky from here, slightly dark, as they ran on human time here, with the sun setting on the horizon. It cast a beautiful orange glow over the entirety of the woodland below us.

"Wow" I gasped. "It's so beautiful…"

I then closed my eyes, and let the breeze blow on my face. It felt so exhilarating up here, like you were free, nobody pestering, nobody judging, nothing to give you painful reminders of the past.

I felt Dan's intense stare on me, and I opened my eyes to see him looking at me softly,

"Truly beautiful" he breathed.

And the way he said it told us that we both knew he wasn't talking about the scenery around us.

I blushed and bowed my head.

My confidence had taken a beating since THAT whole thing, and truthfully, it felt nice to have someone admire me like that again. Nothing seedy like his father, or other lads at the commune, who leered and jested at me.

No…. He was looking at me with affection.

He was a good looking man, and I could appreciate that.

He had a chiseled jaw, high cheekbones, and dark Auburn wavy hair.

He almost reminded me of Mason in a way, the more grown up version of him, as Mason always had a baby face and bright red hair.

Thinking about Mason brought my mood down considerably, and Dan must've noticed the slight frown on my face as he asked me what was wrong.

I shook my head, and he understood immediately.

"Your…past? It's your past isn't it?"

I nodded in response, and he knew to leave it there. I had told everyone at the commune that my past wasn't up for discussion, and Dan understood that he shouldn't press it any further.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around me, and I rested my head on his chest.

It felt… nice to be held like this again. It wasn't exciting, it didn't make my heart race with anticipation as to where this could lead to, and I didn't feel any spark at his touch.

But it was the closest to me feeling wanted in a long time. And I allowed myself to take comfort in that.

Before long, the sun had begun to set, and we both knew it was time for dinner, especially when my stomach growled loudly. We both laughed, and scrambled back down the tree to get the dinner.

On the way back then the camp, I felt his hand gently slide into mine.

I glanced down at it, contemplating if I should pull away, but decided that it couldn't do any harm, and that it was about time I opened myself up again a little, especially if I was going to be staying here a long time.

We strolled lazily back to the camp, both with little smiles on our faces, like two kindergarten children who had stolen a kiss with their crush.

Everyone looked up at us as we entered, and Dan went to move his hand away, no doubt not wanting to push me into anything, and I firmly gripped his to stop him retracting it.

When he saw I made no effort to pull away, his small smile stretched into a full on beam.

I knew I was leading him on, but I hoped that, in time, maybe my feelings could develop into something more. I didn't want my life to be ruled and limited bt my past. I needed to live it, and move on.

And even if I didn't change my feelings for him, it wasn't as if it HAD to lead to anything, right?

That's what I kept telling myself anyway.

We went to collect dinner, a measly meal of a suspicious looking ominous broth, and small piece of bread.

We were on rations now and my stomach hated me for depriving it of the food it needed.

I was starving, the Rose Hathaway appetite could have ate five times this amount, and still had room for several donuts.

My mouth watered involuntarily... donuts. There were many things I missed about life here at the commune, such as running water for showering, my strawberry scented shampoo, electricity and television. But the main thing that I needed more than anything was food, proper food... in particular, chocolate smothered donuts. So sweet and soft, the way it just melts in your mouth-

"Rose... that the hell are you doing?"

I snapped out of my state of dreaminess, and found Dan staring at me. I hadn't realised that I had been miming picking up a donut and bringing it to my mouth.

I wailed. "I miss proper food! No offense on your mum... oh, sorry" I blushed remembering that he was the son of the mistress. He waved his hand dismissively. I think it did bother him that it weirded me out, but he didn't say anything.

"Like donuts, and cakes and chocolate, amd sweets, and milkshakes and hot chocolate and—"

"Okay, okay. Gees Rose, we get it. But remember some of us havent even tried any of that!"

"Yeah, but you don't know how good something is until it's gone!" I whined petulantly.

"You don't know what you're missing because you've never had it, so it's worse for me because I know what exactly I'm missing out on!"

"There's no way I can survive without donuts much longer." I muttered.

Panic flashed in his eyes,"You're not leaving are you?!"

"Well, no. Not yet, but I can't stay here forever. It's already driving me insane!" I joked. Taking a sip of my broth and pulling a face. Disgusting.

He, however, did not find it amusing.

"But I thought we were… you know."

I looked at him questioningly.

"What?"

"Well-". He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"I thought we were…"

He paused again, seemingly intimidated for the first time since I'd met him.

"For God's sakes! Spit it out!" I yelled.

"Fine! I thought we were getting married!"

I stared at him shocked. And for one of the only times I can remember in my entire existence, I was speechless.

"You WHAT?!" I bellowed angirly at him, he flinched back, and at this point I had the entire attention of the camp.

"Y-y-yes, we're supposed to be getting married. I am the next in line to lead the commune, and I must pick a partner to share that honour with. And I pick you. I thought that's what you wanted. You displayed our relationship to the commune when we held hands, that shows your loyalty and devotion to me."

I hardly heard him, anger flashed through my body, and I felt a familiar feeling, one I hadn't experienced in a long time, course through my veins.

"NO! You can not, and will not decide my fate!"

He stammered nervously, "But R-R-Rose, that's the way it must be!"

Other members of the camp began shouting at me.

"She comes in here, we welcome her in, and she thinks she is above us?!"

"I knew it was a mistake letting her stay!"

"Kick her out!"

"NOOOOOOO!" I screamed at them all, suddenly finding everything too much at once, and I felt that familiar sensation flood through me, only this fime much more intensely.

And then it hit me... I knew what that feeking was.

It was the darkness... but that must mean that Lissa's using Sp-

—I was suddenly knocked into Lissa's head, by a strong, burning emotion.

It was Lissa, and boy was she pissed.

"What is it Liss, if it's too soon, we can go back on the antidepressants, you can stop using the Spirit again, you don't have t-"

Christian looked at her with deep concern, and was interrupted abruptly by her.

"NO! I have done what you've told me for so long! And now look what's happened!" she screamed angrily, and I felt more of that darkness flood through me.

Christian looked at her, worried and confused. "I don't understand Lissa, what's happened?"

Her voice was a whisper next, and she collapsed to the floor, as if the emotion had knocked the energy out of her.

Christian rushed to her side, and held her closely to him.

He spoke softly next, and turned her face to look at him.

"What's happened Lissa, you can tell me."

She swallowed harshly, preparing herself to say it out loud.

"It's the bond... I can feel it.

Rose... _Rose is alive."_

 ** _Oh. Shit._**


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note**

 **Hi Guys,**

 **I'm SO SO SO SO SO sorry this is late. I wanted to update a week ago, but I've been stuck in bed for the past week with the worst case of flu I have ever experienced. Needless to say Christmas Day was NOT fun, as I was banned from Christmas dinner with the family for fear of passing it on to people.**

 **I know staying it bed for a week sounds awesome, but considering I hallucinate when I'm ill... well not so fun. Although I did dream I was in a very entertaining male strip club at one point so every cloud, right?**

 **Anyway, back to the story... not too happy with this chapter, but I hope you forgive me under the circumstances, and I understand if you think it sucks...**

 **BUT on a lighter note: THANK YOU TO ALL MY WONDERFUL, AWESOME, FANTASTIC REVIEWERS! I got a record amount for the last chapter, and I totally wasn't expecting it! Honestly appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you think, and I got one comment saying my writing has improved over the chapters, which I was over the moon with!**

 **Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story, who has favorited and followed too!**

 **Thanks,**

 **Emma xxx**

 **Oh! And Merry Christmas, hope you all had an amazing one :)**

* * *

"She's alive, she's been alive all this time Christian." Lissa sobbed.

Christian stood there shocked, that made two of us.

"Rose… is alive?" He stuttered.

"Yes" Lissa cried.

"So… she's not dead?" He stammered again, dumfounded.

"No!" Lissa wailed again.

"She… didn't die?"

"Christian! For God's sakes!" Lissa howled.

"Yes, she's been alive all this time, no she isn't dead, and yes, she's been lying to me this entire time!"

He looked at her sympathetically, "We don't know where Rose is, she's not been in contact with us, nor us with her. How is she lying to you?"

"Because she can slip into my head, and she'll have known how down and shit I've been these past months, and not once, NOT ONCE did she think to tell me she was okay."

"I had to take fucking antidepressants, do you know what they do to your head?! I didn't feel like myself, I felt numb. The doctor's kept telling me it was better than feeling the crippling wave of depression that would hit me if I stayed off them, but none of that matters! I went through all that for nothing! I felt guilt every single day, thinking it was me that pushed her away.

You know I would wake up sometimes, forgetting she was 'dead' and I would start coming up with all these plans for what we could do that day. Getting breakfast, shopping, whatever.

And then I would suddenly remember that she was gone, and each time that I realised, the pain, I'm sure, would have killed me had it not been for these drugs."

Christian went to console her, and she took a step back, hugging herself with her arms, and taking a shaky breath, saying in such a quiet voice, it was barely audible.

"And what's worse than all that, is that… is that I'm the reason she never came back."

I suddenly felt incredibly selfish. I thought that I would be helping Lissa if I moved away, if she thought I was gone, so she could move on with her life. Live the way a royal should, with a guardian that doesn't have the reputation attached to them like I do.

But I now realised that maybe that wasn't the reason I ran away.

It was seeing Him with Her, through that window, kissing, that made up my mind.

And it was finding out that He had eloped with Her that made me stay away.

The fact that Lissa had been beating herself up over it, for all these months, ate me up inside. I so desperately wanted to reassure her that it wasn't her fault, that I loved her and cared for her.

All of a sudden, the weirdest sensation, almost out of body like, came over me I felt myself slip into her body.

And I don't just mean her mind… I mean her body.

I was not only looking through her eyes... I had control of her body too.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!" I exclaimed.

But she ignored me and I could feel her frustration building.

"YOU'RE ALIVE?! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!" Lissa shouted back.

I couldn't believe she was acting as if this was normal.

"WHY THE HELL AM I IN YOUR BODY LISS?!" I yelled.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" she screamed back

"STOP IGNORING ME AND ANSWER GODAMNIT!"

Our mental shouting match was interrupted by Christian, who apparently could not tell that I now possessed and controlled Lissa's body, as he looked at me with a sickening loved up expression, and began to approach me, inching dangerously closer.

"Oh God Lissa, Why didn't you tell me how you felt all these months? I mean, I obviously knew how badly Rose's death affected you, all of us, but I didn't know you felt that way about the drugs, and I didn't know you blamed yourself so much"

And he moved forward, extending his arms out as if to wrap his arms around me.

I immediately leapt back, as if he was plagued by leprosy.

"Eeeew fireboy, you creep. Get the hell away from me!"

"Huh?" He replied, confusion and hurt temporarily flashing across his features.

He continued staring at me, until suddenly, recognition flashed across his features.

He groaned loudly, placing his head in his hands. "Oh Shit, not again. Please God no."

Wait. What

"What do you mean 'not again'?!

This has happened before?!" I yelled at him.

"You don't remember?!" They both yelled simultaneously.

"Remember what exactly?" I asked, puzzled.

Christian stared at me incredulously.

"You seriously don't remember?"

I rolled my eyes at him, really not in the mood for his dumbass questions.

"No Christian" I drawled sarcastically, " I remember everything. I'm just doing this whole charade to gain your attention. And maybe, just maybe, I would spark some affection within you, and maybe you would end up comforting me, and holding me, and we could pick up our apparent love affair where it left off."

He rolled his eyes back "In your dreams"

"Nightmares more like" I retorted.

Lissa interrupted us this time. "Rose!" She shouted, "Can you just stop being so petty for one minute and be serious?! I thought you said you don't remember anything!"

I instantly felt bad again, she had spent months mourning over my death, and the first thing I did when she realised I was alive, was start shouting at her.

I sighed and ran a hand through my... her hair.

"I'm sorry Liss, this is just so weird for me. And yet you're all acting as if this is normal."

"I'm sorry too Rose, but believe me, this is just as weird for me too. I thought... I honestly thought you were dead." Feelings of her sadness rushed over me, and I attempted to console her.

"I should have given you some sign that I was okay, but I thought... I thought that you would move on with your life, find someone worthy to be your guardian."

"Rose, what are you talking about?! You're the most badass person I know. You're the only novice to have killed the two strigoi in Spokane, and then all those in that building they kept you and all those girls captive."

I was well and truly lost now, and sensing this, Lissa sighed sadly. "You really don't remember do you?"

I shook my head and Lissa responded with, "I'll tell you what, we'll make a deal. I'll fill you in as much as I can on the events that took place, and you tell me why you left and stayed away."

I nodded in agreement, and she proceeded to tell me everything that happened. Me getting kidnapped by a trafficking ring, Dimitri confessing his love for me to her, me apparently kicking major Strigoi ass and saving a load of women, and then disappearing. They hadn't been able to identify some of the bodies, and had assumed I had been consumed in the flames that killed those involved in the trafficking.

I, in turn, told her about my history With Dimitri, and how I saw him kissing Tasha, and how I had witnessed the funeral, but also heard that he had accepted her offer to be her guardian and so much more.

We both felt a weight being lifted off our shoulders after we had told each other everything. Although it was weird telling her about Dimitri and I, it had felt good to get it off my chest, and confide in my best friend. My only fear was now, that they would start looking for me, and Lissa would mistake this for me wanting to come back. And my fears were soon confirmed.

"I'm just… I'm so relieved that you're okay, and now we can get you back."

"Huh? Lissa… I'm not coming back."

I couldn't go back now. Not only did everyone think I was dead… but as cowardly as it was… I couldn't face Him again. And it wasn't even that… it was the fact that everything reminded me of him.

Sure, I didn't want to stay with the keepers forever, but for now, it was a distraction for me, one that I needed to stop me going insane. It's not only that but, after experiencing life outside the academy, outside such strict and discriminatory laws, it felt hard for me to pretend like I was suddenly okay with the harsh inequalities our race experienced, after my time at the keepers.

"You have to come back now Rose! Now that I know you're alive! I know you didn't graduate, but it wouldn't take long, you were always at the top of your combat class anyways, and after that you could be reassigned to me and you could become my guardian like we always planne-"

"Lissa! stop! I told you… I can't go back."

"I've just found out my best friend, my bondmate, the person I trust and love more than anyone else in the world is alive after months of torture and pain, and you won't even come back for me?! After putting me through all that?!

"Lissa, please, you must understa-" I begged, voice pleading.

"Yeah, I understand alright. Years of friendship down the drain because you're hung up over some older creep that left you for somebody else. I used to look up to you Rose, but now I realise you're just another pathetic little teenage girl refusing to move on from her crush, and just can't seem to get the message he doesn't like her."

Wow. That was low. That didn't even sound like Lissa, and I knew it was the darkness talking here, but even so. She knew those comments would offend me, and they did indeed succeed in riling me up, and I couldn't resist retaliating.

"Oh yeah? And how the hell would you know what I feel? You've fallen in love, been born into royalty, and have people put their ass on the line for you to live! You think I'm another pathetic little schools girl?!" I could feel my voice getting angrier and angrier, but it was too late. Both of us were consumed by the darkness her spirit had left us with.

"All my life I have dedicated it to serving and helping you. Anytime anyone so much as looked at you funny, I kicked their arse. When Victor kidnapped you and began torturing you, it was me who found you. When we needed to leave the academy, it was me that got us out, and me that kept us alive. And all my life I've been trained to serve you, because they come first. So if someone were to try and kill you, it would be me that took the bullet and died.

So don't tell me, that I'm just another pathetic little school girl. Because I am so much more than that."

We were both absolutely livid at each other now.

We seldom ever got into such heated fights, but months away from the Spirit, apparently meant that we both were struggling more than usual to deal with the darkness that coincided with her sudden, over use of it.

"I'm sorry to disturb you Princess, but the Council is ready to start today's meeting." A head had popped around the corner or a door, and I realised Lissa was stood outside the Courts' official building.

I had been purposefully trying to keep out of her head, so even though it shouldn't have surprised me in the slightest, because she was both a royal that was intelligent and commanded respect, it was still a shock to see her stood here, taking her rightful place on the council.

Last I had seen her, we had both been two nervous adolescents, anxiously awaiting graduation.

Lissa moaned loudly. "God, I can't do this today."

I relayed what she said to Christian and the Moroi assistant who had interrupted us.

Christian asked him for a couple more minutes, and the assistant soon departed.

Christian looked at her, his piercing blue eyes flooding with sympathy and concern.

"I know it's hard for you Liss, and now is hardly the appropriate time for you to contribute, but you need to attend this one."

Lissa sighed stroppily.

"I can't go! I've just found out my best friend is alive, but doesn't give a damn enough to come back to me, after lying to me for all these months."

I bit back my retort to that, and continued passing this on to Christian.

His eyes softened at me (her) and his hands twitched at his side's, as if undecided as to whether it was safe to approach me.

Lissa's voice spoke up in my mind, pleading with me, "Let him come to me Rose, I need him now. Tell him I want him."

Very reluctantly, I told him what she wanted, in no doubt the least romantic way possible

He took another step forward, causing me to involuntarily leap backwards again.

"I don't know Liss… this is too weird."

"Please Rose, I need him now, God knows you're not being any comfort."

I sighed, and held up my hands in defeat, and Christian took a hesitant step towards me, and very awkwardly wrapped his arms around me, making us both extremely uncomfortable, and both extremely unhappy with the current situation.

But Lissa seemed ecstatic and peaceful at this moment in time, so we both allowed it to continue a short while longer, before we both pulled back, cringing and shuddering away from each other.

When he had slightly recovered, he told her, "You need to attend this meeting, it's the one regarding the age law."

"Age law? What does this mean?"

They both remained silent, and I began to lose my temper with the pair of them.

"Oh Come on! It looks like I'm attending this fucking meeting anyway! You may as well tell me now so I don't walk in there clueless!"

Lissa began protesting, claiming that there was "No way in hell she'd let me go in there pretending to be her."

But Christian gave in, "We may as well tell her Lissa, what possible harm could it do now?"

He addressed me next, "They're thinking about lowering the legal guardian age to 16.".

I practically exploded. "They're doing WHAT?! HOW THE HELL CAN THEY EXPEC-"

"Woah, Rose calm down! Lower your voice for God's sakes! I wouldn't want you in there, but I know Lissa feels the same way, and knowing what we're up against…. there's no way we can afford to lose a vote against the proposition."

"But…" he continued" I won't force you to come in Lissa, this is up to you. I know this is a lot to handle all at once,and we need to do what is best for your health right now."

Lissa debated it in her mind, she really didn't want me to go in her place, but she knew that this was an extremely important matter, one that was important to her, and so, with a reluctant sigh, she said "Fine, I'll go in. But on the condition that you only do and act as I say Rose."

"Been used to being your slave remember? Running around after you." I retorted, still pissed off from our earlier conversation.

"Urgggh Rose, just promise me you won't do anything…. Rose- like!"

I rolled my eyes and muttered sarcastically, "Scouts honour ma'am." And I followed Christian into the meeting room.

I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb in the council room.

It was the most plain and mundane shade of cream that I had ever seen in my life, and filled with equally plain and mundane Moroi council members.

They were all seated around an oblong table, members from each royal family sat here to represent a supposedly fair and representative voting range.

Much to my surprise, amongst the see of balding or grey heads, there sat a handsome young man, one that I instantly recognised, with his thick, light brown messy hair, opposite to the chair designated to me.

He was swigging his whisky in one hand, and drew on a thick cigar with the other.

"Mr Ivashkov! You know that smoking is prohibited in council halls, you may take the opportunity to smoke in the fifteen minute allocated break we allow In some time, but for now, I strongly suggest that you put it out, else your vote be lost for your family."

Adrian merely smirked in response, taking a purposefully long draw on his cigar, before stubbing it out on the table in front of him, much to the chagrin of the other members.

He learnt back in his chair and I saw him glance at me, and take a double take. I saw him study me closely, or rather, like he was seeing through me.

And I soon realised he was probably studying Lissa's aura. I wonder if he could tell it wasn't her but me at this present time.

His eyes narrowed, and he cocked his head to the side, apparently unable to figure out what was happening.

"Right, let us begin today's meeting."

The voice belonged to that of the man sitting at the far end of the table, and all eyes soon fell on him.

"Today's topic up for debate, and vote, if we get that far, is that of the introduction of a new age law. We propose lowering the age needed to become a guardian to 16."

I snorted loudly, and everyone turned to look at me, or rather Lissa in surprise.

"Rose! You are so dead! As soon as I gain control of my body again, I'm telling people you're alive, and you can answer to them about my behaviour today!"

"Don't scold me like I'm some child! And there is no way in hell that you're telling people I'm alive again. I told you, I'm not coming back, not yet anyway."

"You don't have a choice in the matter! I am the last Dragomir, and if I want to send out a search team for you, then they will do it!"

"Oh yeah? You sure you don't want to change your mind before I do stuff you may regret?"

She scoffed at me. "What does it matter anyway, as I said, I'll just tell them later that it was you."

I smirked evilly. "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."

I noticed there were several plates of baked goods on the table. Apparently they went all out for royalty... not custard creams here.

There were croissants, cakes, pastries and... jam doughnuts. Slightly disappointing, but hey, doughnuts are doughnuts, right? It was more for show than anything, I doubt any Moroi here could handle a full doughnut, but me on the other hand...

I grabbed the plate closest to me, and began to scoff the lot. I hadn't ate a decent meal in months, and as much as I wanted to savour the taste, I couldn't help devouring everything there. Unfortunately, with me being trapped in Lissa's moroi body, her stomach couldn't handle food like it could in mine.

But when I looked up after scraping the plate clean, I noticed everyone at the table staring at me, mouths agape and features contorted in disgust. And it gave me an idea.

I reached across the table, and grabbed the four remaining plates piled high.

"Oh God Rose, please no" Lissa groaned at me, she knew where this was heading.

One by one, I demolished each pastry, each croissant, and each doughnut. By the third plate, I was beginning to struggle, my breathing became heavy, and I unfastened and unzipped my pants to accomodate my expanding waistline.

The speaker, who had been reviewing the minutes recorded from the last meeting, hesiatated when he glanced over at me, and said in a voice that did little to hide is contempt at me "I think that perhaps, Princess Dragomir, you have had quite enough for the evening?"

I snorted again, and speaking with my mouth full of food, said "Nope, I'm quite alright thanks."

"Oh My God! Rose, please stop it!" Lissa yelled, feelings of embrassment and mortification radiating off her.

"Then promise me you won't tell people where I am!" I retorted.

"NO!"

"Fine, but you asked for it!"

And I continued shoveling down the food. My stomach was in knots at this point, and I nearly doubled over in pain, but it was worth it to see the looks on the faces of the royals around me.

When I reached for the last doughnut on the table, and I couldnt swallow it for the life of me, I began cursing loudly.

"Come on, you little bastard."

"Looks like you need some practicing on swallowing, Princess" Adrian chimed in, smirking at me. His eyes were gleaming with recognition, and mischievousness, and I knew he had finally figured out why the aura looked so different. His smile spoke volumes, and I could see his shoulders visibly sag, as if a weight had been lifted off them. I smiled back at him, a genuine smile that showed I was just as happy to see him as he was to see me.

I winked at him and waggled my eyebrows suggestively, "Is that an offer to help me, Prince?" And we both burst out laughing hysterically.

I heard Christian growl to the left of me, and Lissa hiss.

"What?! I thought it didn't matter because you'd 'tell everyone anyway that it was me'." I said mockingly.

"Yes, but at this rate you'll get me kicked out of the meeting!"

"Then let me come back on my own terms Liss! I have a lot going on right now, and I need to clear my head."

"You know, I don't get you sometimes Rose. You claim for instance, that you disappeared because you didn't want to damage my career, and then you start screwing it up in front of the most important Royal Moroi, just short of the Queen herself!"

I scrubbed my face with my hands. This was all getting too much. "I'm sorry, Lissa. I guess I did kinda get a bit carried away. You know I care about you and love you. But please, please don't push me to come back. I'm not ready. I promise I will, but in my own time."

Lissa seemed to calm down a little with my apology. "Okay, I know this is important to you, so I won't force it. But can you at least tell me when, or keep in contact with me?"

I winced, hoping she wasn't going to take this the wrong way. "I'm sorry, the place I'm currently at now... I can't say too much about it, but I don't have any means of conatcting you."

I heard her shriek in fear in my ear, "Oh my God Rose! Does that mean you're in danger! Are you safe where you are? Please tell me you're safe!"

"GEEZ! Calm down! I can hear you loud and clear!" She mumbled an apology, but pressed fro me to answer.

I thought about the keepers. "Yeah, I'm pretty safe, I've settled in now an... Oh Shit! Daniel!" I exclaimed, suddenly remembering how I had involuntarily left things when I slipped into Lissa's mind.

I could tell Lissa was about to launch into a series of questions, but just then, the speaker addressed me.

Oh crap. I had no idea what the hell he was asking me.

I searched around the room, hoping someone was going to help me out.

Thankfully, Christian came to my aid. "What are your thoughts on lowering the age, Princess Dragomir?"

I began to panic, all eyes were on me. Usually, I didn'y mind being the centre of attention, but then again, this wasn't a situation I was all too familiar with.

"Well... I.. err.."

Godamnit Rose. Just say somnething. Anything.

"I...I think it's a load of bullshit."

"Rose!" Lissa yelled in my ear.

I began sweating more profusely. Man this was out of character for me.

"Get it together Rose!" I muttered through clenched teeth, warranting an odd look from the gentleman beside me.

But thankfully, someone came to my rescue, and took the attention off me.

"Finally! One of you has the balls to speak up against it!"

The doors had slammed open, and making a dramatic entrance, came…

..oh God no.

Tasha Ozera.

Out of the frying pan, and into the fire.

And I hated to admit it, but she looked stunning. She had on a pair of tight fitting jeans, and an even tighter red top, that showed off her tall and slender frame.

Her hands remained on her hips, and she stood tall and defiant, facing the rest of the room with an air of confidence that would make Beyonce back off.

She needed no make up, and her piercing blue eyes made her look even more powerful, especially against the contrast of her straight black silk curtain of hair, that she wore so it cascaded over her back.

 _Just the way he likes it,_ the voice at the back of my mind sang sarcastically.

"Shut Up!" I muttered to myself, but louder this time, earning me another concerned look from the fellow next to me.

I began to turn away, fearing that the presence behind her would soon reveal itself to be Him.

But it was too late, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of his powerful presence, and it was most certainly, unmistakably Him.

And my God, did he look as incredible as ever.

His face held that stoic mask on, but the mask did little to hide the handsomeness of his strong and perfect features.

His dark eyes scanned the room, and briefly over me, making my heart skip for a second, and sink when they swept over me casually as if I was nothing to him, until I remembered that I looked like Lissa currently.

" _For God's sakes Rose!_ " That unwelcome voice chimed in again, " _When will you get the message that you mean nothing to him anyway!_ "

He had on the typical black guardian uniform underneath his open, but the way that it hung against his prominent muscles and lean body, surely grabbed the attention of every woman in the room.

He took his place against the wall amongst the other Guardians, and it took everything within me to peel my eyes away from him and focus on the meeting once more.

The speaker rose from his seat, and adjusted his glasses, before addressing Tasha. "Miss Ozera, your family already has one representative attending this meeting, if you would wish to attend the next public debate, then you are more than welcome too, but as of su-"

She smirked smugly, and God how I wanted to smack it off her, and pointed towards the place Adrian currently occupied, "Forgive me please if I'm mistaken, but aren't there two Ivashkovs occupying the seats there?" That was true, Adrian, and a woman who looked rather similar to him, but older, sat opposite me.

The speaker stuttered, and began flailing under Tasha's intense gaze, unable to form a coherent answer.

"Well then, I guess I'll take my seat then." And she sat down, that same immensely smug look on her face.

And something came over me then. Seeing her smirking like that, like she had everything in the world she could possibly want, including my Comrade, pissed me off to almighty levels, especially when I glanced over at him looking at her adoringly, and apparently mesmerized.

I wanted so badly to wipe the satisfied looks of both their faces.

And I did something that was so spur of the moment, I didn't really have time to think it over in my head properly.

I leapt across the table, grabbed Adrian's face between my hands, and kissed him passionately. He instantly returned the kiss, and for a second, I was kinda reluctant to pull away. Man, he was a good kisser.

But when I did turn away, expecting to see a look of jealously on Dimitri's face, knowing Adrian always sparked some reaction in him, I instead saw one of confusion, one that mirrored the rest of the expressions on the people around the room.

It was then that I remembered I was in Lissa's body, and I mentally cursed myself, helped out by Lissa of course.

But my mental cursing was interrupted by a voice shouting out loudly and angrily.

"ROSE!" Christian yelled, clearly annoyed that I made it look like Lissa had kissed Adrian in front of her boyfriend.

I whipped my head around at him, wide-eyed and pissed that he had just given me away, and everyone stared at me shocked and speechless.

Fuck me. Just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any worse.


	20. Chapter 20: Deception

_**Author's note**_

 _I want to apologize again for the late update. It's been a hard few weeks, and I've started new medication that has meant I've experienced a lot of side effects, one being memory loss and lack of concentration. So everytime I came to write, I found I'd written a load the night before, but it was absolute gibberish haha. I'm hoping this settles down soon. And I'm sorry if this isn't up to standard!_

 _And also, thank you for my awesome 14 reviewers: Stardreamer2608, Amanda Shafer, Indigo Mcleskey, MavvChic2017, Swimming the Same Deep Waters, lovemesomedanilalol, katnipsc and the seven guests! You guys are totally awesome! Seriously, you keep me going with the story!_

 _Thanks to everyone who favourited, followed and reviewed. PLEASE KEEP THE REVIEWS COMING!_

 _Much love,_

 _E xxx_

* * *

Christian's eyes widened as he realised what he said, and then darted around as if he was searching and struggling for a way to back track.

Thankfully, Adrian's quick thinking came to the rescue.

"What about her?! We were never going out! I can damn well kiss whoever's I damn well like!"

I instantly knew what he was getting at. Sparky, however, apparently did not deserve that nickname chosen for him, as it took him a while to catch on, and even then, it was when I subtly stamped on his toe.

"OW! What the hell R-" he cut off, recognition finally shining in his eyes.

"Finally, dumbass." I muttered, earning a scolding from Lissa.

"Okay, so she wasn't your girlfriend, but Lissa is damn well mine, so I suggest you keep your sleazy little mouth off her, before I set you ablaze."

He was playing the part really well… perhaps a little too well.

The royals in the room gasped at Christian's suggestion that he would even entertain the thought of using his Moroi magic for violent means, but Adrian, in his typical style, leaned back on his chair and said," I think you'll find that feat quite impossible dear Sparky, as I am already unquestionably smoking hot." He winked at me, or rather Lissa, and smirked, "As I've no doubt your girlfriend here would be inclined to agree with."

Christian played along with Adrian's charade, feigning anger… or at least I thought he was until I heard Lissa say worriedly, "He's really pissed you did that."

"But he knows it's me!" I argued back.

"I know that! But still must be pretty damn frustrating seeing your girlfriend kiss someone else!"

I inwardly rolled my eyes at her, until they focused on Adrian… I was surprised at how good that kiss felt. Not Dimitri 'Oh my God, take me right now' sorta good, but still, not half bad.

Speaking of the devil, I glanced back behind him, and I rather hoped I would be able to gauge some reaction from him, but as usual, he had his damn stoic guardian mask on. Why couldn't he be like a normal human being for once, and join in the Jerry Springer show that was unfolding here?

As I looked around the table, Christian and Adrian arguing with each other, Tasha leaning back on her chair smugly, and the love of my life currently ignoring me, oh! And not to mention the voice of my best friend in my head… it amazes me how chaotic my life was, like something out of some dreadfully addictive reality TV show.

Lissa interrupted my thoughts, shouting worriedly, "Rose! I really think you ought to stop them before Christian sticks to his promise of practising his fire lighting skills on Adrian!"

Now normally, I wouldn't be inclined to agree with her, and would've loved to sit back with some sweet popcorn and enjoy the show, but I was beginning to find the atmosphere a little stifling, and was desperate to escape.

I suddenly couldn't stand the fact I was in the same room as Dimitri and Tasha, and thankfully, the speaker at the head boomed:

"ENOUGH!"

All heads turned towards him, and he readjusted his tie with his clammy hands, and cleared his throat.

"Now, I know that this is not normal procedure, but might I suggest an early break from the meeting."

He focused his attention on us now, and ordered "You three," he gestured to us with his sausage finger, "step outside until you cool off. Our meeting will reconvene in fifteen minutes, and it is up to you if you decide to return. Meeting adjourned."

Chattering immediately broke out, and Christian and I were desperate to get out of the way of all of the stares and whispers, whilst Adrian looked like he was lapping the attention up, rather enjoying the drama that had unfolded.

We three made out way outside, and once safely out of sight, Adrian didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around me, surprising me with the amount of force he hugged me with.

Lissa spoke out then, softly, saying,

"He really likes you Rose. You have no idea do you? He's gone mad since you've disappeared. Well… I know he's already half there, but he seriously lost it. The drink, the smoking… it's been awful. He had shut himself from the world before Christian and I dragged him out with us."

As I took this in, I felt another wave of guilt consume me. Another person I had inadvertently hurt whilst trying to do the right thing.

All this time I thought he had just been trying to get into my pants for some cheap fling, but what if his feelings for me ran deeper than that?

I held onto him tighter then, and whispered in his ear. "I'm so sorry, Adrian. I've missed you."

He too, gripped me harder, "I've missed you too, Little Dhampir", he breathed, the pungent smell of stale alcohol mixed with cigarette smoke on his breath.

"I… I am so sorr-" I said choking up. Man, what was with me today? Not only did I have Lissa's body, I apparently had her soft touch emotions too.

But he put his fingers on my lips, and leaned so that his forehead leant against mine.

"Don't. Ever. Apologise. I have a feeling I know a little of what happened that night you killed all the Strigoi. You were not yourself."

I stared at him, puzzled, about to question him further, but he swiftly changes the topic and says, "Besides, after what that asshole did to you, it's no wonder you didn't want to come back.

But you should know Rose… well… not everyone, I mean… I'm not like that. I know I come across like a playboy, but I would never do something like that to hurt you."

He stares at me, with those big emerald eyes, and in that moment, I wished to God that I could feel something more for him, more than a slight attraction and friendship.

I smiled at him gently, kissed his cheek and said "Thank you."

He pulled back, and I expected him to have a look of disappointment on his face, but instead, he just showed relief, relief that I was alive and safe, and it truly warmed my heart knowing I had such a good friend who cares so much about me, for me to return to if I should ever wish to come back here.

Just then, Tasha and Dimitri exited the room… arm in arm. She said something and he laughed.

But… something seemed a little off about it… like it didn't come easy to him.

"Ahhh for God's sakes. I CANNOT deal with that right now." I muttered darkly.

"Tell me about it" Adrian said, burning holes through the sexy ass duster Dimitri was wearing.

The two 'lovebirds' saw us, and Tasha waved, but instead of making their way towards us, she swiftly changed her path, and practically dragged Dimitri in the opposite direction.

"That's odd" Lissa and I both said at the same time.

"She's usually so bubbly and talkative! She's not seen Christian in ages, and she's always saying how she looks forwards to her visits to him." Lissa mused, pondering as to how or why she would act so oddly.

I continued to staring after them wistfully. They made such a handsome couple, her, so strikingly beautiful, and him, so formidably attractive.

I sighed bitterly, running a hand through Lissa's fine hair.

I wish I was stronger than this, that after all these months I would be stronger. I had hoped that, with time to heal, I could return and face them, and feel nothing but pity. Pity on him for missing out on me, and my utter devotion I once had, and her for falling for someone who could lie and trick someone so easily.

But no. Seeing them brought up every emotion I had tried to wish out of existence by pretending I didn't know them. Pain, anger, hurt, sadness, jealousy, longing, confusion.

I watched his tall, strong figure, and her slender, graceful one retreat into a wooded area, which Lissa told me was the Court's park.

"You should go after them." A voice from behind me said.

And I turned around, bewildered…Surely it can't be…

"Mia!" I exclaimed, running towards her and practically lifting her tiny self off the ground, despite her protests.

"As happy as I am to see that you're alive and well, you know I HATE it when you take the mick out of my height."

I grinned at her and said, "Huh? Must be out of habit. After all, you look like you've grown a few inches!" I mocked gasped.

"Really?!" She screamed in giddiness, her bright blue eyes brimming with happiness.

"Sure thing, Sport!" I say enthusiastically, whilst ruffling her hair patronisingly, then resting my arm on the top of her head as an armrest, "You look like such a big girl now! Don't you?"

I pinch her cheek and begin cooing, "Who's a big girl now, yes, you are, you are such a big girl."

She blushed red violently, and shrugged my arm off her head and pushes away my hand.

"Urrrgghhh, I forgot what a bitch you are!" And we both laugh heartily, and turn around to face the others again.

"It's so good to see you're okay Rose. You had us all seriously worried, we held a funeral for you! Always have to be the centre of attention don't you!"

"I try" I reply, and we both start laughing again.

She hits my arm playfully and says, "And fancy you and Guardian Belikov! Only you could cop off with the Badass Russian God! I bet he's HUGE!" she elbows me again playfully.

The mention of Dimitri automatically takes me out of my good mood, and noticing this, Mia repeats: "You should go after them. It's clear you have strong feelings for him."

Christian coughs rather conspicuously, and remarks snidely, "In case you hadn't noticed, Mia, The 'Badass Russian God' is currently with my dear Aunt."

I nodded along, "For the first time since our entire existence, I actually agree with you Fireboy. He made his choice, and I'm not about to just start traipsing after him, like some desperate love sick fan girl. He wants that skinny piece of ass, he can have it!" I say, a lot more confidently than I actually feel.

I noticed Adrian shift uncomfortably from the corner of my eye, and he scratches his head, and averts his gaze, suddenly finding the sign directing people to the Courtyard particularly interesting.

"Adrian…" I warn, and he jumps up at me, looking like a little boy who's been caught doing something wrong.

"You're hiding something!" I exclaim, and he attempts to put on that cool persona of his, putting his hands in his pockets, and shrugging. "What are you on about, Rose?"

Everyone looks at me expectantly, but I come up short. I don't know how to explain how I know he's lying.

"He's lying Rose." Lissa says calmly.

"How do you know?" I ask curiously.

She responds, "Look at his aura. My skills are nowhere near where his are at, and I can only get general vibes off people as opposed to anything specific like he can."

"How do I look at his aura?" I ask.

"Focus on him, and him alone. Block out everything else around you, other people, background, noise, smells, everything. Just focus on him intently. Apparently this comes easier with practise, but I have to do this because I'm not as good at it."

I attempt to do as she says, staring at Adrian intensely, but nothings happening.

"Son of a bitch!" I complain, getting frustrated. "It's not working!"

"That's because you're not focused enough!" Lissa yells back. "You're too preoccupied with finding out his motives, as opposed to finding him out, if that makes sense? Try not to worry about why you need to see his aura, clear your mind, and just put all your energy and focus on him."

I sigh, and breathe out to try and collect myself. I close my eyes, and count to ten, before turning to focus back on Adrian.

And all of a sudden, the most incredible feeling explodes through me, as the spirit courses through my veins.

Fireworks of colours explode across my vision, and his aura consumes my line of sight.

"There!" Lissa exclaims proudly. "You did it! Do you see it?" She asks.

"See what?"

"The streaks of colour muddling and colliding into each other, it shows that he's hiding something."

With this newfound knowledge, I turn to Adrian and smugly confront him.

"You are lying! I can see your aura, Lissa taught me how!" I exclaim triumphantly.

He stares at me bewildered, and practically snarls at me, hissing at Lissa.

"Godammit, I knew I shouldn't have given away my best moves!"

"Didn't think you had any" Christian mutters sarcastically, earning a growl from Adrian.

"It doesn't matter, it's none of your concern!"

"When you're acting as dodgy as hell around me, well yeah, I do kinda think it is my concern! You'd better tell me!" I yelled back.

"You don't have to force me to do anything!"

I was about to launch myself at him, when I realised going on the attack want getting me anywhere.

So I try the only other thing I knew I was the master of: shameless flirtation.

I saunter up to him, and place my hand gently upon his arm, and stared up at him, with what I hoped were big doleful eyes.

"Please tell me Adrian. You have no idea just how much I'd appreciate it, and it would mean I owe you one." I waggles my eyebrows suggestively and he sighed, giving in.

"Godamn Hathaway! Before I met you, I had power over every woman I encountered."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Don't pretend you'd have me any other way." I say jokingly.

And instead of getting a snide remarks, or innuendo as was typical of our conversations, he just looked at me earnestly, and said "You're right. I wouldn't change you for the world."

I attempted to squash the wave of guilt that came over me again, and thankfully, Adrian smiled softly at me and said "I'll tell you, but bear in mind that the alcohol has rendered my powers somewhat… inept. I can still see parts of their auras, but not as clearly as I would've been had I been sober."

I nodded solemnly. Something about the way he was speaking told me I want going to like what he was going to say next.

Everyone looked at him, waiting, and he drew a sharp breath in.

"There's like a fog over his aura, something that means that I can't read him properly. Now that could mean one of two things… either it is the substances I've taken numbing my ability to read him or…."

He trailed off, but Lissa gasped exclaimed, "She's using compulsion on him!"

Shock consumed me, and I said in a quiet whisper "compulsion…"

The rest of the group gasped, and Adrian nodded solemnly.

"Like I said, I can't tell for sure…"

"That would explain why she took off so suddenly, and why they didn't attend my funeral…" I started.

"... And why she didn't want to approach us, with two spirit users, now that we weren't distracted by the events of the meeting. In case we could read their auras." Adrian finished.

As the pieces of the puzzle fit together, I felt my heart soar with hope, I knew it! I knew that he wasn't capable of being so cruel! That the way we felt for each other was real, not just something my crazed mind imagined.

I felt the first bit of true happiness I'd felt in ages, sure I had attempted to bury the pain I felt, and pretend it didn't exist, but I never felt complete or my real self.

Christian interrupted my thoughts and exclaimed, "But this is my aunt you're talking about! She would never…. She just couldn't do something like that! She brought me up for God's sakes. I'd know…." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Love makes people do crazy things though, it can change a person in ways you never imagined." Adrian muttered softly, gazing at me with such intensity, it began making me uncomfortable again.

"But it must be the other option! That you're so off your ass on alcohol that your judgement is clouded. She wouldn't do something like that!" Christian continued to protest, and unfortunately, we all knew that it was still possible that he was right, that Adrian just couldn't see clearly.

" And!" He continued, "She wouldn't risk her relationship with Dimitri if she was so concerned we'd catch her out over compulsion!" Christian declared, leaning back against the signpost in smug contentment, thinking he'd won the argument.

Adrian replied, equally confident and reassured in his own opinion.

"She has always been extremely passionate about causes like this one. Perhaps she's hoping she can stay for the vote, and make a quick exit before we unleash hell on her ass."

The argument continued like this for a while, and before long I got sick of it. Having my hope being toyed with, my emotions jumping around all over the place, and no privacy whatsoever, not even with my own thoughts.

Without another word to the others, I took off in a random direction, desperate to get away from the turmoil they were causing over my emotions.

I carried on running, until my Moroi body became exhausted quite quickly, and I came to a sudden stop, leaning on a tree, struggling to catch my breath.

It just so happened that I had ran in the same direction that Tasha and Dimitri had headed to, subconsciously or not, as they stood before me now, Tasha draping herself all over him.

I kept cover behind the trees in front of me, and tuned my newfound, heightened moroi hearing to hear their conversation.

Tasha was speaking to him, voice sickeningly sweet and sultry, "Wait here my love, I just need to have a quick catch up with Christian, or else they'll suspect something."

Dimitri began to protest, "But my duty is to protect and serve you, love and adore you, and never leave your side."

He spoke almost mechanically, as if he were reciting something of a script.

It made both Lissa and I incredibly suspicious, but also caused my heart to race at hearing his voice again.

I felt a wave of excitement and anticipation flow from Lissa, and she exclaimed suddenly, " Check her aura! You know how to see if she's lying now, and we're close enough that I can try it!"

I realised this was a perfect opportunity, but a part of me couldn't help but refrain, for fear that Christina was right, and that if I knew he really didn't love me, I would feel my heart breaking all over again.

Feeling these thoughts and emotions in my head, Lissa finally decided to step in.

"Enough Rose! This isn't like you, the strong, fearless Rose that I know!" She shouted at me.

"You have no idea what this is like for me Lis-"

She cut me off, practically hissing at me, "But that's just it! I know exactly what this is like, because I can feel everything you're feeling, think every thought passing through your head right now! I know this is hard for you, but unless you fight for him now, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what if, and we both know that won't be the blissful ignorance you're hoping it will be."

I was glad I had Lissa with me now, as much as I craved that privacy those moments ago, I'm not sure that I would've had the strength to go through with this.

Funny how our roles had reversed.

"Since when were you such a bossy bitch?!' I jokingly yelled at her.

"Since you were gone and someone had to take up your place!" we both laughed, and my shoulders shook from trying to refrain from attracting the attention of the happy couple with my laughing.

When I'd calmed down, I began to allow the Spirit to flow through me.

I instantly felt on a high.

"It's incredible isn't it? Like an addictive drug. Do you understand why I never want to stop using it?" Lissa sighed.

I nodded in a agreement. Both of us knew that, just like the highs you get on drugs, this high would eventually fade into something much more sinister.

I shuddered, and tried to refocus on Tasha.

And just like the last time, fireworks of vibrant colours exploded across my vision, and just like Adrian's, hers was muddled and mixed up, showing she was hiding something. I then shifted my attention onto Dimitri's, and to my astonishment, found that his aura somehow muddled in with her's too, as if the lie was connected in some way.

Lissa remarked "There's no Gold there Rose, and that would show love between them. And I've never seen an aura so messed up and mixed together like theirs, but it seems plausible it would be compulsion?"

I stared at them, the colours swirling in a confusing mess around them. I understood Lissa's line of thinking, but it was dangerous to get my hopes up without having solid proof that compulsion was involved.

I immediately felt a wave of guilt cascade over me from Lissa.

I attempted to reassure her. "Lissa, this isn't your fault, none of this is. You've only just started reading aura's, and sure, if Adrian hadn't been high as hell right now he could've seen more, but you got me much further than I could've done on my own."

She began to calm down again, but both of our anxiety's flared up when we saw Tasha retreat the way we came.

"This is your chance Rose, go for it" Lissa whispered in my mind.

Anxiety built-up inside me, and I attempted to catch my breath, and calm myself down.

I was about to face the man who broke my heart.

I made my way, stumbling over the undergrowth, and the sounds of branches and twigs snapping under my clumsy football, caused his head to shot up, and take a defensive stance immediately. There was a reason he was known as a God in the Guardian world.

I finally made my way to the path, and tripped over a root of a tree protruding through the ground. I cursed loudly, embarrassed that our first encounter in half a year involved me falling on my ass.

I scrambled to my feet, and peeked through the silky curtain of blonde hair, and I couldn't help the gasp that escaped from my throat when I saw him.

He looked the same sexy, gorgeous badass that I met when he captured me.

His hair was tied at the nape of his neck, though some of it had come loose, and lightly brushed his shoulders, framing his handsome face.

He had a slight shadow of stubble across his lower face, making him look even more dangerously sexy, if possible.

Though I knew he hated letting his beard grow out, as it wasn't part of his routine. That must be Tasha's doing.

His eyes were still as captivating and beautiful as I'd remembered.

...but they didn't look at me the way I had hoped they would, with love and fondness.

And he didn't rush towards me, relieved that I was safe from harm, and that we were together again.

Instead, he bowed his head, and spoke in that beautiful deep, lightly accented voice that I loved, and said

"Princess Dragomir, a pleasure to see you again."

I blushed red, embarrassment flowing through me. I cursed out loud at my stupidity in forgetting I was in Lissa's body, and he raised an eyebrow at my profanities, but didn't say anything.

I cleared my throat, and lifted my head high, hoping the show of confidence may somehow make it easier to face him as the real me.

"Dimitri, it's me…. It's Rose." I whispered.

Something seemed to flash on his eyes, but it was gone before I was able to identify what it was. His eyes turned cold and his voice was detached when he spoke next.

"Princess, Rose is dead, she has been for the past six months, you know that" He looked at me pointedly, like I had gone insane.

"No! It's really me Dimitri! This has happened before apparently. I got sucked into Lissa's body, you were there!"

He shook his head, and looked at me with pity, and I began to find myself getting frustrated.

I scrambled to think of things that would trigger something in him, and make him realise it was me.

"Comrade! You know only I ever called you that!"

He shook his head again and replied, "You have been present when she used to call me that before, despite the lack of professionalism."

His lips didn't even twitch like they used to, at the nickname I came up for him.

I frantically tried to think of something else.

"What about that time, after a gym session, you confessed to me about your father, about what a brute he was, and how he used to beat your mother, until you knocked the shit out of him and kicked him out when you were thirteen."

He looked momentarily stunned that I knew such information, and I thought that I had managed to get through to him, but again he merely responded with, "Rose must have told you that, though it was a very personal matter." His jaw clenched in clear frustration, he was a private man and did not like that privacy being violated.

Great. The last thing I needed right now was for him to be pissed off with me.

Suddenly, a memory came into my head, and I knew it was one he would know only the two of us would know about.

"The charm! Remember the lust charm Victor placed on us with the necklace! We came so close to….well, sex. Only us two know it was a lust charm, you know it!"

Lissa gasped in astonishment, but her surprise was nothing like the look of shock etched upon Dimitri's.

He looked at me with a puzzled expression, before he spoke, so softly I would've missed it of not for my heightened senses.

"...Rose?"

Relief flooded through me, that he finally recognised it was me. But that relief was short-lived, because he soon placed his Guardian mask on again.

"What is it you need, Miss Hathaway?"

His coldness astounded me, and it took every ounce of my being to not run away like a coward, and face up to him.

"What the hell do you mean 'What do I want'?!" I exclaimed.

"Us. Together. We love each other. I want to save you from the compulsion Tasha's got over you!" I yelled, my voice deafeningly loud and angry now.

He stared at me blankly, and spoke robotically, "There is no compulsion involved. I love her."

I clenched my fists by my side, and kicked the rock next to me in frustration. It hurt like hell, but the anger I felt at the moment overpowered my other senses.

"Snap out of it! Come on! I know deep down you know you're being used! You love me, and I can't just let you go without knowing I did all I could to save you from her!"

And without really thinking, I ran towards him, attempting to kiss him. Somehow hoping that it would awaken him from the spell she had put him under.

But before I could reach him, he stretched out his hand with lightning fast reflexes, and halted me from coming closer to him, with such force that it knocked me back a few steps.

"Stop Rose. Do not embarrassed yourself any further." He said icily.

"But this isn't you! It's not how you truly feel! She's using you, Dimitri, why the hell can't you see that?!" I cried, my ability to control my emotions feigning.

"You can pretend all you like now, but you cannot fake all those moments we spent together, all the laughter, the stolen kisses, our declarations of love for each other for God's sakes! I know deep down you love me, you cannot just forget a love like ours. Please Dimitri." I was close to tears by this point, and it took every ounce of my will power not to cry in front of him.

And right on cue, as of the mighty God's themselves were smiting me, it began to rain, heavily. It was like the cliché ending to every rom com Lissa had made me endure, except this time, I wasn't so sure the predictable, happy ending was going to happen.

He looked down at me, his handsome face as stoic as ever, and I had no doubt what he saw, well… beyond Lissa I mean. A pathetic, hung up teenage girl, begging, literally begging him to love her. What has this man reduced me to? But how could I not fall for him, even now, with his face impossibly passive and emotionless, he was the most striking figure I had ever laid eyes on.

I waited for his answer, and searched his eyes, which were uncharacteristically cold.

He turned his head to me and said, "I was never in Love with you Rose. And I never shall be."

He began to walk away, but I couldn't help myself, and grabbed onto his arm.

"Please, Dimitri. You love me, you said so yourself."

I was crying at this point, and I thought I saw his deep brown eyes soften, and his forehead crease with worry and pain. He opened his mouth and whispered "Oh, Roza"

He placed his large, calloused hand on my face, and I leant into his touch and warmth, something I had craved for months.

And just with that simple such, and his affectionate name he used for me, I instantly felt at peace again. It was as if all of the pain I'd endured didn't matter anymore, I was finally home.

He was about to speak again, when a shrill voice called out to him.

"Dimitri, darling! There you are! The meeting is about to start again!"

I looked past him, to see a very pissed off Tasha glaring at us, and our intimate position.

And with those words, something inside him flicked again, and the cold, stoic mask returned.

He shook his head slightly and began to walk away. But I couldn't let him go, I had got so close.

"Wait! Please Dimitri, remember how you loved me!"

He turned his head back over his shoulder, and said in a voice I didn't recognise as his, no warmth attached to it.

"Exactly, loved. But not any more. _**Love** **fades, mine has**."_

Shock consumed my entire being, and suddenly, it was as if it jolted me back into my real body, with the Keepers.

I opened my eyes and saw a load of people gathered around me, some with looks of concern, others with confusion, and a fair few still reeling from the anger I caused earlier.

The sky was bitch black now, and it was like something inside me snapped. It was as if Dimitri's words sparked this darkness in me, a darkness I had felt building since both Lissa's and my use of Spirit.

And so, once I got over my initial shock, I didn't feel the usual emotions one got when told that the love of their life no longer loved them…. No.

No sadness, no depression, no anger, no self pity, no gut wrenching blow.

No…. Because everything, and I mean everything was overwhelmed by an all too familiar sense of darkness.

I closed my eyes and felt it built and course through my veins, gaining power and intensity with each second, I felt it take over me completely, until I lost all sense of myself, or most of me anyway.

And so, when I next opened my eyes, I no longer saw the people gathered around me.

All I saw were shadows and spirits, swirling and twisting in the air as if death himself was manifesting himself from the darkness all around me, and all I heard were the terrifying screams in horror and pain that I knew I inflicted

And like any predator hunting for its prey, I craved this sensation, this power and hunger… and wanted more.

And with that, the darkness completely exploded out of me.


	21. Chapter 21

**_Author's note_**

 _So… I got four reviews for the last chapter. We went from 15 to 4 :(((((_

 _And to those four reviewers, thank you so much. You guys are totally awesome._

 _And special shout out to the guest reviewer I love you! I am extremely honoured that this is the first story you've reviewed, and that you asked me to continue, and your words were so kind too! Just WOW! This chapter is dedicated to you, because I wouldn't have continued writing this story if not for you!_

 _I'd love it if people took the time to review. Let me know what you think, and constructive criticism is welcome!_

 _This chapter is short and pretty dark, so just warning some readers that it gets quite gory at one point. Anyway_ _, on with the show! **Please can we aim for at least 8 reviews before I next update**? Let me know if you guys are still interested._

 _Much love,_

 _Emma xxx_

* * *

The darkness consumed me. All traces of my former self diminished within mere seconds. I knew what was happening, suddenly the events of the Strigoi attack I inflicted came flooding back to me. And whereas that time, I was using it for pure survival purposes, this time, I was using it for fun. And I embraced it.

Smiling maniacally, I lifted a hand, and forced out every shadow and spirit that surrounded me, out into the crowd of people screaming and running away.

The whole sky, once clear and blue, appeared to tremble under the intensity of the darkness, and soon gave way as the swirls of purple and black littered the sky, casting an eerie, ominous, dark glow upon the scene below.

Pandemonium exploded everywhere.

Men, women, children screamed, and I thrived off it. I felt powerful, and in control for the first time in ages, and I loved it.

Some fools tried to attack me, and I was able to delve into their subconscious, and torture them with images of their loved ones as they surrounded them. They clawed and fought to deflect the Spirits away, but they persisted in their torture relentlessly, features contorting, mouths gaping the length of their faces, bodies decaying right in front of the people who loved them most when they were alive.

Last time, I had some form of control, knew where to cross the line at good and bad, and though I suffered memory loss, I was able to go back to my usual self.

There was no such boundary today, and I doubted that I would ever return.

I saw him them. Our leader. And I started towards him. And with each step I took, images hit me.

The times he'd inappropriately touch me, or whisper explicit things in my ear. Sure he'd never actually taken things further, but that didn't matter right now. No. Because he suddenly represented every single jolt of pain I'd suffered at the hands of men.

Every leer I'd received at the Academy, Jesse, grabbing and touching me.

The Strigoi, stripping me and ridiculing me in front of a huge crowd. Trying to sell me off as a whore.

And finally. Dimitri. The man who stole my love, and broke it into a million pieces, as if it was worthless.

All of these memories flashed through my mind, and the darkness surged through me in such a powerful wave, that it inundated my mind completely.

His eyes widened as he spotted me, and he attempted to run, but I imprisoned him from all sides with Spirits. He desperately tried to escape, collapsing on his knees and crawling like a newborn child. How pathetic. But at least it made it all the more entertaining.

He began pleading with me, begging me to spare him, "Please, please, please spare me, as your leader, I can offer any of our resources to you. When the next visit from the Alchemists arrives, you may have first pick of their goods. You may marry me, and share my power. Just please, please spare me. I will do anything you want."

I sneered at him, the fact that he still referred to himself as my leader did nothing to help him. But seeing him bend to my will, my every command was rather fun to watch, and I decided I would toy with him a little more.

I stood over him, and smiled my man eating grin at him. "Bet you're not used to being the submissive one, are you Jeremy?" I drawled at him, and bent down and traced his lips with my finger.

Confusion flashed in his wild, panic stricken eyes, before they darkened with lust and desire.

I trailed my hand down his body, resting on his abdomen, and I felt his body tense up in anticipation. "As I said before, I will do anything you want" he repeated, and smirked.

I ignored the bile that rose at the back of my throat and pushed him onto his back, and leant in close to his ear. He shivered at the contact, and he thrust his lower body into me, to let me know just how much he was enjoying this.

"Shall I tell you what I want you to do?" I whispered in a sultry voice.

He merely nodded and held his breath awaiting my answer.

I raised my head, so that our foreheads were nearly touching. He began sweating profusely, and a few stray drops leaked into his eyes.

He blinked rapidly, and as he did so, I caught a glimpse of myself in the pools of his eyes.

I didn't recognise myself. My hair was wild and untamed, and my eyes were a pure black, my pupils dilated almost to the size of my entire eye. They were dull and soulless. I looked like an animal, uninhibited by social rules and respect, driven by pure lust for power, and greed for domination.

I paused for a minute, and cocked my head to the side like a wild dog, recognising the small voice at the back of mind screaming, begging me to stop, to recognise that what I was about to do next was wrong, and a step too far.

But that's what the voice was, _small_ , and therefore easy to crush.

I shook my head, and cleared the remnants of my conscience, and looked down at my prey I had lured. And it had been so easy too.

I smiled, and he mistook it for something else, perhaps acceptance of his request to be his wife, awaiting what ever sexual act he had concocted in that perverted mind of his.

Well. Lust is a sin. And sins deserve to be punished, surely?

"I would like you to…" he licked his lips as I hovered over him, "...suffer. Like every man has made me suffer."

His eyes widened even more, if possible, and all traces of lust were gone and panic began to set in as he realised he'd fallen into my trap.

I summoned everything inside me, and let the shadows loose upon him. Thought they could not physically cause him harm, he did not know this, and he clawed at them to escape their terror. But they continued mercilessly. They came closer and closer to him, and he let out a bloodcurdling scream that rang out through the surrounding woods.

His hand slid to his pocket, and he grabbed the knife he kept there. He attempted to slash at them, but it was useless.

"There is only one way to end this torture." I snarled, becoming bored of the spectacle before me.

He stopped as he took in what I meant, before he raised his trembling hand, crying and whimpering, and slit his own throat.

Blood splattered out, showering me and my clothes as he bled out to death.

I had just killed a man. An innocent man. And I enjoyed every second of it.

I turned around, looking for my next victim, perhaps Dan for assuming he could take me as his bride, like a possession.

My eyes spotted him cowering behind the bushes, and I slowly walked towards him though the crowds of screaming people, running around like captured animals in a cage.

But before I could get there, I heard the sound of vehicles edging closer in the distance.

I immediately took an offensive stance, ready to launch an attack at anyone who threatened my territory and prey.

And sure enough, three huge vehicles, like Range Rovers, drove up, resting just outside of the communes.

"The Alchemists!" A man shouted, as the people climbed out of the cars.

Although there was something familiar about that name, it did not register in my Spirit consumed mind. All I knew is that they were a threat. A threat I had to destroy. I strolled towards them. Power and darkness radiating off me.

Darkness tinted my vision as I prepared to unleash hell upon the newcomers, but before I could, I felt a light stinging sensation in my neck.

I reached up to find a syringe protruding out of me.

The thing did not hurt me, merely annoyed me greatly, and I yanked it out.

I turned my attention back towards them, but as my head shot up, blurriness consumed my vision. I attempted to take a step closer to them, but my balance failed me, and after stumbling for a while I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

Within seconds, people were upon me restraining my head, arms and legs. I thrashed wildly, attempting to break free, and tried to use the shadows to tear them off me. But I no longer had the control of the darkness that I had moments ago.

I felt more needles pierce into me, at every point in my body, and my movements slowly became less wild and erratic as they kicked in. I was being tranquilized.

"What the hell are you doing? Kill her! She's insane! She tried to kill us all!"

Somebody yelled, but I couldn't make out who it was, as my vision became even more blurred and confused.

"No!" A female voice yelled, "Don't you know who this is?! It's _The_ Rose Hathaway. She's been missing for months, and was declared dead. She saved all of those women in the Strigoi attack.

No… we can't kill her.

We're going to bring her home."


	22. Chapter 22

**_Author's_** ** _note_**

 _Thankyou_ _SO, SO much for all of your reviews! We got **11** this time! I can't tell you how happy I am when I see them, knowing you've taken the time to tell me what you think._ _Also to the guest… thank you so much for reviewing, honestly I feel so honoured that you've chosen to review my story, but you've done more than enough! Don't feel compelled to review, if it wasn't for you, this story would've stopped by now. So thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story :)_

 _Can we aim for **eight reviews** again please? I know I'm being quite cheeky here, but I'm hoping we can make 6-8 our goal each time._ _Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story. You guys are awesome_

 _I wanted to ask everyone's opinion. Do you prefer longer chapters, but less frequent updates like I did before, or shorter, but more frequent updates?_

 **P.S To the guest reviewer. Thank you for pointing out the aura colours. I wanted ask about the spelling errors. I always triple check my work, and would love it if you could tell me what I spelt incorrectly so I can fix it.**

 _Thank you,_

 _Emma xxx_

 **Adrian POV**

There was a huge commotion at court. Crowds of people gathered around the entrance, surrounded by tall metal fencing, despite the efforts of the Guardians present to keep the area clear. I could barely hear myself think through the noise, not that that was necessarily a bad thing. A break from my diseased mind would do me some good.

I pushed my way through the crowd, seeking out a familiar face that may know what was going on. I hated such crowds, it made the Spirit almost unbearable. The amount of colours blinding me from people's auras was making me close to having some sort of epileptic fit. The colours were beginning to give me a serious migraine, not helped by yesterday's drink which led to a God awful hangover today.

Lissa had begged me to quit the drink after seeing Rose, and I wouldn't have done if she couldn't tell by my aura when I was and wasn't sober. She wanted me to be on 'Top Form' in case they needed my assistance in finding her. Though I don't know why. I hardly think she'll come back now thanks to that bastard. He could have had her, he could have had everything, but he threw it away, and what worst is that I don't know if Rose could ever move on, or trust another, such as myself.

A part of me knew that I was being unfair to the poor bastard. He could not help the compulsion he was under. But even before any of this happened, before Rose went missing, he never took the chances she offered to him so many times. And yet, she forgave him each time, and loved him unconditionally.

As I endeavoured to wade through the heaps of people, I caught glimpses of theories and rumours people had heard.

 _"I heard it's a special visitor coming to court."_

 _"It's the Alchemists, look at the vehicles they're travelling in."_

 _"I_ _reckon it's a fugitive, being escorted back to caught."_

I turned over all of these ideas in my head. I tried not to take any of them as fact, as I knew full well what sort of bullshit could be spread around here. I also had certain… powers to help me find out if needs be. Being a powerful Spirit user and social presence had its benefits.

I saw Lissa's aura then, floating above the others, distinguishable even in the chaos of colours due to it being tinted gold from the Spirit.

There was, however, none of the darkness I usually saw. It almost always tinted the edges, and though sometimes it was barely visible, it was always there if I looked closely enough. But not today.

My internal musings were interrupted by a loud screech of brakes, and something crashing into the gates. Pandemonium ensued as people screamed, suddenly diving to the floor.

I made it to Lissa and yelled "What the hell is going on?" She stared back at me wide eyed and screamed back "WHAT?!"

I sighed and repeated myself, yelling even louder "I SAID, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

She shook her head and pointed to her ears, and I pushed my way closer to her and shouted "I SAID, WHAT THE HEL-"

I was interrupted by the sight of one of the heavy back vehicles swirving its way towards us.

Lissa screamed, and I pushed her out of the way, but froze still myself.

It was like something out of some b-rated movie, where everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I always thought those people were foolish, the ones that had the opportunity to move out of the way, but I understood it now. It was as if the fear paralysed me.

The vehicle flipped and skidded on its side, as if the driver had lost control of it.

It came skidding towards me at a deadly fast rate, And I knew there was no way that I could move out of the way fast enough to avoid becoming crushed.

That is, I thought that until the vehicle suddenly came to an unexpected and sudden halt. I opened my eyes, not realising I had closed them in the first place, and found the vehicle had stopped inches away from me.

I glanced around me uneasily…

Did I just do that?

I smirked to myself, feeling pleased with my newfound Spirit powers, and extraordinary timing.

I turned around, excited to tell Lissa, only to find her sweating and on the verge of collapsing. She began to sway, and I ran forward to catch her, only to be beaten by the cradle robber. Typical, he's always the fucking hero isn't he? I thought bitterly.

It was then that I saw her aura, tinted heavily with darkness, that I realised it was her who had found and mastered this new Spirit talent of controlling objects, not I. She was trembling from the sheer force of her powers,

I walked over to her, and brought a handkerchief out of my breast pocket, wiping her brow from the sheen of sweat that covered it.

"Thank you cousin." I said, leaning close to her face and kissing her forehead lightly.

This earnt me a growl from Christian, who I hadn't realised was stood behind her, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"For God's sakes, control your jealousy for once Chris. It's not like she actually betrayed your love or anything, unlike some people." I said, glaring at Belikov meaningly. Unfortunately, he was in his "Try-hard serious badass" mode, and did not respond.

I don't know whether it was the adrenaline that provoked me, or seeing him in that ridiculous Cowboy jacket type thing that Rose used to go crazy over, but suddenly I couldn't bite my tongue like everyone had insisted I do. I had enough. Rose deserved someone to stick up for her.

"Seriously man?! You feel nothing? No guilt or anything?! You broke her heart, you cold, useless bastard!"

He merely glanced at me, blinking slowly, as if he did not even register what I was saying.

This close up, and in my sober state I knew it was the compulsion that had taken over him, but the selfish part of me didn't want to tell people I knew for sure that Tasha had a hold over him, and I wanted to humiliate the man who had taken so much from Rose, and therefore myself.

"You get a kick out of it, huh? Seducing underage girls? I bet Rose ready did it for you then, her being a stubborn bitch and everything." Still no response from him. I decided to push further.

"I know about your past, Cradle Robber." When the use of his old nickname, which used to drive him crazy, did nothing to stir him, I pushed on, knowing I was possibly going to far.

He raised his eyebrows cooly, and said "I hardly see how anything in my past is relevant, Lord Ivashkov. Now if you excuse me, I do believe Lady Ozera requires my presence."

He handed Lissa, who had recovered slightly, to Christian, and turned away, about to make his way over to Tasha, who beckoned him to her, like a dog over its master.

I could tell she was worried that Lissa and I would discover the compulsion she was using, as she looked as if she may spontaneously combust from angst at any second.

"Ahh going back to your master like a good little dog then? Thought it was the men in your family that ordered the women around?" His head suddenly whipped back at me, and I could see his resolve melting.

I smirked.

"Ahh that's right! This is what you do, isn't it? Lure women in, get them to trust you, maybe even make them fall in love with you, before breaking their hearts and treating them like toys. You're no different to that pathetic excuse of a father of you-" I wasn't able to finish, as he roughly picked me up by the collar, shaking violently with rage.

"Don't you dare ever talk about my family again. You know nothing about them, you know nothing about me." He spoke in a low, threatening voice, that on anyone else, I'm sure, would've made them shit their pants. I, however, thrived off this kinda thing, and continued smirking, loving the fact this pissed him off more.

"On the contrary, as I said earlier, I know everything. I am a prince after all, and the title comes with certain privileges. I know all about your father, how he used to use and abuse women. And from what I've seen of you, I gather that you take after him."

He slammed me up against a wall, growling and swearing in what I presumed was Russian.

I continued grinning like an idiot, satisfied that I had got a reaction from him, the great master of the Guardian stoic mask.

He slowly released me, and took a deep, shaky breath.

"I know what you are trying to do, Ivashkov, and you will not succeed in riling me up and provoking a violent attack on my part. Now if you excuse me, I have a job to do. Not that I'm sure you're aware of what a job is, or what that entails." He straightened his duster thing, and walked over towards Tasha.

"Fetch, doggy, fetch!" I called after him, but he ignored me.

It suddenly felt like a very petty victory I'd won, receiving a reaction from him, but it was something to cling on to. Maybe something I could tell Rose to cheer her up, if she ever came back.

I walked back towards Lissa, who was attempting to stand up on her own two feet, but was still clearly too weak to manage it.

I rushed towards her, and helped Christian catch her as she swayed, "Shhh Liss, it's okay, take it easy. Everything's okay now." Christian cooed, stroking her hair comfortingly.

But within seconds, Lissa went from someone on the verge of passing out, to someone full of energy and life again, standing on her own two feet and pacing. I noticed then that the darkness had completely disappeared from her aura again. "I feel… fine! In fact, better than fine! It's as if the after effects of Spirit just sort of disappeared. I'm okay now, you're right Christian, everything's okay" she smiled at him softly, and for a second, we relished in the sort of peace we had.

But how wrong Christian turned out to be. A force caused the car doors to fly off one of the vehicles, and out of it escaped a swirl of purple and black, which spread out, like ventricles, to the crowd of people.

A dark mist descended on the air, suffocating us all in a deadly blanket.

The malevolent swirls then began to form into dead, decaying faces, beckoning people and tormenting them.

People began clawing at their faces, desperate to shake them off, but to no avail.

Lissa and Christian stared at the chaos wide eyed, clearly scared shitless and unaware of what was going on. Tasha and Dimitri had made their way over to us.

I was momentarily surprised, but I often forgot how fiercely protective of Christian Tasha was. Tasha and Dimitri took the protective stances in front of Lissa and Christian, but from the looks they exchanged, they clearly had no idea what to make of this either.

I, however, began to slot the pieces into place in my mind.

The darkness being removed from Lissa coincided with this onslaught of torture from the dead and shadows.

I flipped back in my mind on the research I had done of Spirit users, and the words 'Shadow Kissed' came to mind.

I knew that Lissa and Rose were bonded, and that Rose was, in effect, the one kissed by the shadows. The one who was constantly haunted by the dead, who tried to drag her to their side.

But what if…. What if the shadow kissed had control of these shadows…

But that could only mean that the person, the fugitive being brought back was indeed her.

And right on time, a figure emerged out of the shadows, her curvaceous figure unmistakably silhouetted in the darkness.

Her beautiful face slowly came to view, though the manic and uncontrolled, evil expression on her face made her almost difficult to instantly recognise. But no, it was undeniably her. And God did she look sexy as hell.

" _Roza_ " a pained voice cried, breaking me from my thinking, and I glanced to the side of me to see Dimitri had collapsed to his knees, as he stared at her in awe and pain. It was as if he was suddenly seeing clearly for the first time.

"Shit" I cursed, goodbye compulsion.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Author's note**._

 _I'm sorry it's been a while, it's been a really tough week with the depression. It's hard to engage in much at all really, and all I can do is apologise sincerely for this. I don't reckon much of this chapter, but I'm just glad I managed something with all this memory loss and numbness I'm experiencing with this new medication. Sorry_ _for the long note, I just really feel like I owe everyone an apology if it's not up to standard._

 _Thank you all so much for the reviews. It means so so so much that you take the time to tell me what you think._

 ** _I would love it if we could aim for 8 again please :)_**

 _Thank you all so much for being so kind and understanding. We are nearing the end of this story now, maybe a couple more chapters left, so I wanna say thank you to everyone that has stuck by it._

 _Love,_

 _Emma xxx_

 _P.s thank you to the reviewer who quite rightly told me I had made some mistakes. I have changed the aura colour for spirit users in the last chapter. But can you tell me which spelling errors I have made? I always try to proofread my work, and I'm sorry that I have missed a few mistakes! Thank you :)_

* * *

I had awoken. Yet, it was in a different mind and body to my own. I didn't recognise it. I didn't feel… anything. Besides the darkness that is. I didn't know anything, except that I had to use the darkness. The reason? I wasn't sure, I just knew it was coursing through my veins, like a powerful electric current, and I had to use it before I exploded. I wanted to hurt, to kill people, and it excited me knowing the power I possesed. I opened my eyes narrowly, enough to see out off, but not enough so as to attract the attention of anyone.

The room was dark, dimly lit by a torch and someone using their phone. There were no windows, and very little furniture or objects, besides a few seats, and the table I was strapped to. There were two people sitting to the left of me, both distracted by one thing or the other. They were clearly human, by their horrifically average looks and physique, and dressed in all memories of the events that happened before I woke up here flashed in my mind. The Alchemists. No doubt they thought I had been incapacitated by the tranquillisers. I guess they misjudged how long I would be out.

The room shook, like we had gone over a bump in the road, and it was then that I realised I was in a vehicle. I lifted my head slightly off the table, keeping my movements slow so as to not draw attention, and scanned my position.

I was strapped down, across my chest, abdomen and upper and lower legs. Hmmmm…. This could prove tricky if I was my normal self. But then again, when you had the power of the undead on your side, I suppose I had a slight advantage. There were only two men here with me, and a driver at the front. And humans at that. They should prove no problem for someone like me.

The vehicle came to a halt, and I heard the sound of metal scraping across the floor. Ahhh… gates, so they were taking me somewhere, possibly to trap and cage me like some demented animal.

It was amusing that they thought they had won.

My ears pricked up at the sound of loud, excited chatter. My mind began to figure it out.

If the Alchemists were to take me somewhere to confine me, but there were an abundance of civilians in that same area, then that would mean it couldn't be prison, like poor Victor was sent to, and it wasn't the academy, as their jail wasn't strong enough.

I was at Court. How thrilling.

I smiled to myself. Not only would I have an audience, but one consisting of the most important people!

The vehicle started moving again, slowly, and as the chatter from the crowd became louder, I knew I had to strike. My eyes snapped open, and I turned my head to the humans beside me.

The movement caught one of the men's notice, and his eyes widened in fear, as he quickly nudged the man beside him.

"Her… her eyes! Look at them! They're completely black! She's awake, shouldn't we do something?!"

But the other one, who had been on his phone, replied in a lazy tone, "Relax, man. She's bound and she'll still have the drugs inside her. I bet she can't even hear us or speak! That crazy bitch will be out of our hair in no time."

This was going to be entertaining. I couldn't wait to see him realise how much he underestimated me, and how much that would cost him.

He also accused me of being a crazy bitch. Guess I had no choice but to live up to my new reputation.

Without any warning, I struck out at them, unleashing the darkness within. I had more control of it, than previously, I noticed, now that embraced it and removed traces of my former self. It was only a matter of time before the 'good' side of me could no longer fight back.

Shadows flared out, swirling around us, causing both men to scream, I reached out with my mind further, to the driver, causing the van to veer as he lost control.

But I was weaker than I thought. The drugs had numbed some power.

The van swerved chaotically from side to side, until it came to a sudden halt, causing the van to rock until it fell sideways. The crash had severed my bounds, and I was finally free.

Just as I had wondered what had caused the sudden stop of the vehicle, I felt a surge of darkness, unlike any I had ever experienced before, surge through me. It was much more powerful than the darkness I had before, and I could feel it expanding beyond me. It was as if I could feel my blood turn black, and feel the temperature of my body drop as the waves of darkness continued to wash over me. It almost became too much for me, the waves nearly drowned me into an abyss of complete darkness and nothingness.

But I managed to fight the pull, and instead embraced the energy and power. I could feel my wounds heal, my muscles become stronger, and my mind become sharper.

It was my Spirit user, I soon realised, that had used her element, feeding me the darkness. Somewhere at the back of my mind, a small voice protested, telling me she was my friend, but she was something completely different now. She was the one who's power I was at the mercy off, she was responsible for the way I was now, and the power I wielded. How soon things would change.

I stood up, and instantly noticed the newfound strength I welded.

I could distinctly hear voices outside. The screaming had settled down, and a period of ominous calm seemed to settle down around us.

But calm was boring. It was time to bring some excited back into everyone's lives.

I stepped over the body of one of the men who had been keeping watch over me. He was already gone, but the other man, the one with the phone, stared up at me with desperation in his blue eyes.

"... please. Please help me. It.. it hurts so bad." He cried out to me, and his outstretched arm shook as he tried to grab me.

He had sustained a bad head injury in the crash, and his leg was trapped between two seats, twisted at a funny angle.

I winked at him and smiled sweetly, bending down to his eye level.

"Oh, but that wouldn't be very in character for a 'crazy bitch' like me, hmm?" I said, mimicking his earlier words.

He continued begging me, and I found the display in front of me pathetic and rather nauseating, and decided I'd had enough. I walked over to the doors, which were impossible to open by hand due to the angle of the vehicle. I turned back to him, saying, "Don't worry, I'll get out of your hair now", and I blew off the doors with the dark energy I possessed.

I breathed in the fresh air as I stepped out, and took in the scene before me. The large crowd had not dispersed, clearly thinking that the crash had put an end to the pandemonium. I chuckled to myself darkly. The game was only just beginning.

The darkness spread like a disease, casting the air in a deadly and toxic virus. I looked out beyond the darkness that had formed around me, and saw the panic stricken and terrified faces of people I recognised of having some familiarity with.

Though I knew of them, I did not feel any sort of attachment to them. The old Rose was dead, and her feelings went with her.

I nonchalantly swayed towards them, revelling in the attention I gained from the men. Though I was not familiar with this body, I knew it was one that could turn heads no matter where I went. The man I recognised as Adrian, made no effort to hide his appreciation of me, but it was the other man, Dimitri, the one I recognised as the one responsible for my heartbreak, though I did not know why, that caught my attention. It was his eyes. Dark, smouldering, and incredibly sexy. They roamed over my body, as he drank in every part of it, like it was his life source. My body's natural reactions flared up, heat and wetness pooling down below. So apparently, my past connection with him involved some sexual feelings. Hardly surprising really, he was an exceptionally good looking man.

I sighed to myself; shame I was going to kill him really.

I smiled at them as I approached them, putting on my infamous "man-eater" smile, and put my hands on my hips. I winked at the men in front of me, and spoke to them in a low, sultry voice.

"Hello boys…did you miss me?"


	24. Chapter 24

_**Thank you all so much for following, favouriting and reviewing. It's nearly the end now! Let me know what you think!**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Emma xxx**_

* * *

 **DPOV**

I couldn't believe it was her. It was as if I was truly seeing for the first time in months. It felt like I had been in some sort of numbed state all this time, a sort of coma, and I could remember very little of what had happened. But I could remember the moment Tasha had used compulsion on me, and I could remember telling Rose that my love for her had faded. My heart ached when I thought about all of the heartbreak I had inflicted upon her, all of the pain she must have endured because of what Tasha had done to me.

But because of me too, I should have realised what was happening to me sooner, and then, quite possibly, all this could have been avoided. Perhaps Rose would not have left the academy, and would not have gone months without seeing us all. Perhaps we could have at least managed the darkness better and found a way to prevent it.

But all that is in hindsight, and it was too late now.

As she emerged from the upturned van, I drank in every detail of her. She looked just as beautiful as she had done when I last saw her. If not more so. She looked older now, and her figure had become even more womanly, if possibly. Her brown hair flowed down past her shoulders to her hip, giving her a sort of wild image, matching the look in her eyes.

They were pitch black, not the warm, light brown that I loved so much. She was definitely something different now, it was like she was possessed.

I was distinctly aware that she said something, but was too consumed by seeing her again, that it was too late when I noticed everyone around me had started running chaotically and screaming.

Pandemonium erupted. Everyone began screaming as the darkness enveloped them. I wanted to help them, to stop her, but I froze there in shock.

It went against every natural instinct to fight her. Sure, we had sparred in practice, but I knew how to refrain from hurting her. And though it had been drilled into us from a young age to not hesitate or stall when confronted with the face of a loved one with the body and mind of a Strigoi, this was different. Not only had I never had to fight a Strigoi that I loved like I loved Roza, but she was not even Strigoi. At least I would have had the comfort of knowing that no traces of her remained.

But I knew that she was still trapped in that body, deep down. "For God's sakes Belikov, kick your ass into gear and help us!" A voice to the right of me shouted. I turned my head to find Christian attempting to fight some invisible force off him, and Adrian and Lissa nearby struggling in very much the same way.

I turned back to Rose, who was currently distracted by unleashing the spirits. Now was my chance, and I could not let all these innocent people suffer because of my own cowardice. And with that, I made my decision.

I ran towards her, and attempted to ambush her from behind. But she was too quick, much quicker than her reflexes had been the last time we sparred, and she turned around just in time and ducked, punching me square in the jaw. I stumbled backwards, more from surprise than the actual attack, before gaining my balance again. I managed to recover just in time to block another attack from her, and landed a blow to her side. I attempted to snake my foot out, and knock her off balance so she fell to the ground, but she anticipated the move, and took the opportunity to hook her own foot under mine, just as I had raised it to swipe under her. I fell back, and landed with force. She stood over me laughing at me, as I played the wounded soldier. Just as she thought that I was incapacitated, I kicked both my legs out, surprising her, and knocked her onto her back. This time I lay on top of her, using the weight of my body to keep her from moving. She thrashed around wildly at first, before she apparently gave up, and lay there defeated.

Her face crumpled up, as she looked like she was about to cry. Her black eyes returned to brown, and I thought I had my Roza back. I began panicking, thinking I had truly hurt her, when my intention had just been to sedate her. And it was because of that, that, like a fool, I let my defenses drop, giving her the scope to gain the upper hand and knock me off her. I cursed myself mentally, I was becoming sloppy and she knew it. I sprang to my feet, and used every move I had to try and take her down, but she managed to block every move with ease.

It dawned on me then that she was going easy on me, she was holding back.

I stopped fighting as soon as I realised this, and she immediately stopped too. I spat out the blood in my mouth, and wiped my face with the back of my mind, breathing heavily.

Her face took on a look of dramatic shock and pity.

"Oh baby! I'm so sorry, look what I've done to your handsome face." she drawled, and placed her hand on my chest. My heart immediately started pounding faster at the contact and she laughed. It was almost easy to believe that this was my Roza, and even easier to let myself fall into that trap. But something about this, about her, seemed wrong, and I pushed her away. She rose her eyebrows in surprise, but then began purring in that sultry voice. "You don't want me?" She asked, in mock hurt, "But I wanted you, pretty boy. Oh well. What a shame. I was rather hoping to save you to last, and have my fun with you, but I guess you didn't want to hang around to play." She pouted at me, and I felt my skin crawl with uneasiness.

"I guess that you leave me no choice but to cut this short, something tells me that you're quite a boring man anyway, and I have no time for boring." her brown eyes flashed black again, and I felt a cold shiver brush through me.

And that's when my very personal own hell came true. Every Strigoi I had killed surrounded me, but in their spirit form. She knew how I would never forgive myself for taking lives, no matter how much it was for the right reasons. She knew that, so she knew how to torture me. I tried to fight them off, but to no avail. They swarmed around me, and though I knew on some rational level that they could not hurt me, they felt too real, and it overpowered that sane voice.

Just as I thought the torture could not get any worse, I felt the darkness seep into me, in through my mouth. My eyes widened, and I began screaming in pain as the darkness seeped through me. It felt like it was burning my insides.

"I'm sorry to do this to you Dimitri. It's just that, well, as you told me yourself, love fades, and mine has." She cooed, and the pain I could feel intensified, causing me to scream out in pain.

I did not think that I could take it for much longer, and felt my vision blur as I was in the verge of passing out from the pain.

And I nearly gave in, but I could see from the corner of my eye people struggling, in the same position I was in. And I could not let them suffer because of my actions.

And so, with gritted teeth, I pulled myself up and ran into Rose, slamming her to the floor. She glared back at me, her black eyes gleaming with fury, and I felt another stab of pain shoot through me, and I arched my back trying to control the pain. I could feel her trying to pull me into looking into her eyes again, and though I endeavoured to resist, the pull was too strong. As my head snapped downwards and my eyes connected with her's, I knew that within a few moments she was going to kill me. My jaw clenched and I braced myself for whatever she was going to do to me, when her head snapped away from me suddenly. I collapsed from exhaustion, and turned my attention to the thing that had distracted her.

It was Lissa. Christian was shouting at her, begging her to stop, but she shook her head, yelling "It's the only way to stop this!" I was confused at her words, unsure of how she could stop this, until I saw the stake in her hand. Rose pushed me off, and stood up, her features were wild and furious, she ran towards Lissa, but it was too late.

She raised the stake above her, and with all the effort she could muster, she stabbed her tiny frame straight between her chest. Christian screamed and ran to her, and I narrowly caught Rose in time as she fainted. I checked her pulse by instinct, and breathed a sigh of relief when I felt it, though weak and slow.

I looked down at my Roza then, and felt my heart swell with love and concern for her. I delicately brushed some of the hair covering her face behind her ear, and took a moment to truly absorb and worship her perfect features. Though I knew that we were far from having that happy ending, at least she was safe, and at least she was alive. Just as I thought that, I heard Christian scream, "No no no no no! She's not...she...she can't be…." He sobbed, before collapsing into Tasha's arms.

And it was with a heavy heart then that I realised what had happened.

The last remaining Dragomir was dead.


	25. Chapter 25

What the hell was that noise? **_Beep beep beep_** was all I could hear, continuously as if it was on some loop. I could hear people murmuring too, though not well enough to distinguish what they were saying. I tried to open my eyes to see who it was but couldn't. I endeavoured to pull myself up, but could not even manage to raise a finger.

I could, however, open my mouth and say the first thing that came to mind.

"If ya'll want to have a little bitch fest about me, then speak a little louder! Hell, maybe I could join in too! Let's see…. Rose's hair is….. damn. My hair is too damn cool to slag off and we all know it." I heard gasps of relief, before someone ran to me and clasped my hand. It was cold and uninviting, and, had I been able to move, I would've slapped it away from me.

"Oh, and what the fuck is that beeping noise? It's driving me absolutely fucking insane!"

"Rosemarie! Watch your mouth! You have no excuses for using such foul language, even if you have just woken up. That is no way for a guardian to act, least of all my daughter. "

Ahhh, I knew that voice. The Scottish lilt, the angry and sharp tone, lacking any sort of affection whatsoever; my mother ladies and gentlemen. Only natural that this would be the first thing she would say to me after I had woken up.

And that would explain the ice cold hand holding mine too.

I was now able to open my eyes, the effect of some anesthetic wearing off.

I blinked rapidly to clear my blurred vision, and I eyes met the cold ones of Janine Hathaway.

I gasped in mock surprise. "Mother, is that you?! God, you look stunning? Have you changed your hair? Your clothes maybe? Ooh, I know! You've lost weight haven't you!" I gushed, and her hand squeezed mine so much I thought it was going to shatter.

"Do not be so ridiculous Rosemarie." She shook her head in disapproval.

"What? I thought that was the normal way to speak to your mother, seeing as swearing won't do an all" I asked in mock innocence.

She rolled her eyes at me and dropped her hand from mine. It was strange that that would be the most compassion a mother could offer.

"You should be used to the sarcasm by now, of which I'm assuming I got off my father, seeing as you have all the personality of a brick wall."

Oh, if looks could kill…. The way she was glaring at me could make a seven foot man buckle at the knees in fear, no easy feet for a five foot woman.

But, alas, I was used to this by now, and shot her a deadly glare back.

She stood up, and backed away a few feet, as if the distance would make things cooler between us. I guess some things would never change.

I took the opportunity to look around the room. It was cold and harsh with its four white walls. Machines and wires sprung up around me, and a few people stood at the foot of the bed.

I was in hospital, obviously. It was with a shock that I realised this was the closest to true home, after living in a shack for six months. This bed… though hard as nails, was ten times the superior of the bed back at the keepers.

My mind involuntarily wandered back to that time, and flashes of images suddenly came flooding into my head.

 _People screaming. Men dead. Women dead. Children dead. Lissa dead._

I sat up in shock, and started hyperventilating at this last revelation.

I began sobbing through my gasps for air, and a strong pair of arms wrapped around me, immediately calming me down.

"Lissa!" I screamed, "she's dead! I need to see her… I need to… I need to…" I trailed off and collapsed into a heap of tears.

I felt like my whole world, my entire life had been stripped away from me. It couldn't be real, could it?

I could remember now… she stabbed herself in the heart with a stake, Christian and Adrian ran towards her.

A voice sprang up in my mind… " _It was you, Rose. You murdered your best friend."_

I sat still with shock. It was right. Everything came back to me now… the darkness...the madness… and how Lissa sacrificed herself for me and many others. But I did not deserve to live, not if Lissa was gone instead.

I must've been murmuring this aloud, as a voice quickly hushed me and spoke in a soft, gentle way.

"Oh Roza. Never blame yourself. The darkness… it did terrible things, but that wasn't you. You were possessed."

I noticed the other people had left the room, leaving me alone with my capturer.

My mind was slow to register the identity of the person holding me, but as soon as it did, all hell broke loose.

"You! You bastard! This is you! This is all your fault! You… you kissed her. And I left because of that! It's your fault, it's your fault. It's your fa-" I broke down as I hit his chest, slowing to a halt as his arms crushed me in a bear hug that was too intoxicating for me to fight. His aftershave enveloped me, and I eventually calmed down enough to hear his calm, rational voice.

I caught a glimpse of his face, and it was contorted in pain. His beautiful features marred by what had happened. His forehead creased, and his eyes shone with unshed tears. My outburst had upset him deeply.

"Roza… believe me when I say that I will never forgive myself for what I did to you. As soon as I kissed her, which was not entirely intentional, it made me realise something . It was nothing compared to you. It made me realise that I could never move on like I wished, and be with another woman, or be alone, because I needed you. I have many regrets in my life, but none of them, and I mean none of them compare to losing you. I truly thought you were gone, and then you wouldn't wake up from your coma. And when I finally broke out of my compulsion, and saw what I had done to you… it broke my heart. I thought I had lost you for good. And it is even worse knowing that this was all my doing.

I thought once that I could settle for knowing that you are safe. For being your teacher, and maybe a friend once you had graduated. But now, I know that it is not enough. I want more. And no matter how long it takes for you to forgive me, I will be here waiting. Be it ten minutes, ten hours, ten years, I will be here. I want you to know that Roza, I will never let you down again."

I stared at him dumb-stricken. I had no idea what to say to him. Too many thoughts and emotions were swirling around in my head. On the one hand, he had never tried to make our relationship work, he had always shot me down, made me feel like a schoolgirl with a silly crush on her mentor. But on the other hand, he was trying now. Looking at him now, it was impossible to argue that he didn't mean it. His deep brown eyes bore into mine, and for one of the few times in our entire history together, they were completely unguarded. He was almost begging for me to believe him, something I never thought I would see Dimitri do.

Maybe a long time ago, I would have jumped at this opportunity, ran into his arms and pretended like everything was okay so that we could live our happily ever after.

But now… I needed time to heal. We both did. It did not mean that I did not wish to be with him, but I would not jump into it feet first. I had forgiven him, after all, who was I to judge him after what I had done? We needed to take things slowly, and I wasn't even sure that I could have a relationship ever again.

I realised I hadn't replied to him, and he was still waiting for an answer.

I shook my head at him, "I can't. Not yet." His eyes gave away how much my answer hurt him, but it was as if he had expected it, as he quickly began putting his stoic mask back on and untangling himself away from me.

As he climbed off my bed, I leapt out of my own and placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

"It's too soon. This is... way too complicated for me yet. I know you didn't mean what you said, that your love had faded, I can see that, but it doesn't mean that I can run back into your arms and pretend like everything is okay. I don't even know how I can live on without her…. She killed herself because of me Dimitri. I don't deserve a life of romance and love when I've deprived her of her own."

My eyes began watering, and the feeling of being alone truly hit me. And that's when I noticed, the bond was gone.

I tried to reach out to her, in some inane attempt to see if she was still alive, but I was numb. There was nothing there.

And that's when the tears fell. The reality that she was dead kicked in,and I fell to the floor in a fit of sobs.

"She's dead Dimitri…. She's dead. I can feel it."

He stared at me in shock, and a small smile began to play on his lips.

I gaped at him in horror and began screaming at him, "How the hell could you laugh? She's dead. My best friend. Your Moroi you were supposed to protect! She's dead and you're laughing?! You bastard!"

My temper was in full swing now, and I began throwing the closest objects around me at him.

He dived to the side, narrowly missing a flying stethoscope that I had swung his way.

"Rose! Stop!" I continued throwing things at him anyway, and he ran forward and grabbed both my arms.

"Let go off me you bastard! Let go!" I squirmed and tried to elbow him, but he was too strong, and with his other hand, he pulled my face towards him despite my resistance, and forced me to look into his eyes.

"I was laughing because due to my own selfishness, I didn't tell you the first thing you needed to hear!" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, and he continued.

"She's alive Roza! Lissa is alive!"

I stared at him incredulously, mouth wide open, before I launched a verbal attack at him again.

"Is this your idea of a sick joke?! And you used to give me so much stick for my dark sense of humour!" I screamed at him, and he sighed heavily.

Without warning, he hauled me up over his shoulder, and led me out of the room and down the hospital corridor.

I hit his back and kicked out as much as possible, but it was pointless. This man was made out of iron and could be just as stubborn as I am.

We eventually seemed to arrive at out destination, as he put me down and gestured his arm out wide for me to enter the room.

I narrowed my eyes at him in a way that told him he was dead if this wasn't real.

I hesitantly walked into the room and immediately met the excited gasp and shout of her.

"Rose! You're awake! We were so worried, you've been in a coma for the past four days and nobody knew if you would ever wake up!"

She was sat up straight in the bed, with an untouched cooked breakfast on a tray in front of her. But it wasn't the meal that surprised me. That wasn't unusual in itself; we always joked that I had the appetite for the two of us. No, the thing that surprised me was how well she looked. She was the picture of health. Her golden hair was bright and colourful, her cheeks were flushed with excitement, and a large grin plastered her face as she greeted me.

My eyes nearly bulged out of my head, and I began to stutter.

"H-how is this…. How is this e-even..." I stammered and she laughed out loud.

"Wow! This is an all time first! I've made the Rose Hathaway speechless!" she started giggling.

Usually I would've rolled my eyes and made some snarky retort, but I was filled with a sudden euphoria as it sunk in that she wasn't dead.

I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her so hard she started wheezing and slapping my back.

When I finally released her and pulled back, I noticed that she, too, had tears in her eyes. "I was so scared that I'd lost you, Liss. You sacrificed yourself for me, but it should be the other way around. I should be the one protecting you."

She smiled sadly at me. "It should be be that way. We're equals Rose. You mean just as much as I do to you." I began to interrupt her, talking about my role as her guardian when she hushed me.

"You have a lifetime of protecting me, Rose. This is by far the least that I could do to pay you back."

I was lost for words again, and could do nothing more than hug her tightly again.

When I let her go, I asked her the question that had been preying on my mind.

"The bond is gone, I can't feel it anymore…. How?" I questioned, and she looked down, pushing the food on her tray around with her fork. She looked like she was getting upset, but I had no idea why.

When it looked like she wasn't going to say something, I turned to Dimitri.

He was just about to explain when somebody interrupted.

"Little Dhampir! There you are, I have been looking everywhere for you." Adrian appeared by the doorway of Lissa's room and leant against the frame. He was dressed smartly as usual, with dark jeans and an emerald green top that matched his eyes. His hair was styled messily, and he was playing with an unlit cigarette in his hands.

He noticed Dimitri and said, "Looks like Cradle robber here beat me to it as per usual. But who can blame me for losing to him? After all, he's had years more of experience than I." Dimitri growled lowly behind me, and Adrian laughed before strolling up to me and embracing me.

It took me by surprise, but I welcomed the contact. Adrian was always someone I could count on.

He buried his face in my hair and sighed deeply.

"God I have missed you Little Dhampir. Lord knows it was boring with you gone. And what a dramatic return you made too! I was both terrified and turned on at the same time. A feat only you could succeed in accomplishing my dear."

I flinched slightly when he mentioned my return, and it didn't escape his notice.

He pulled back a little so that he was looking into my eyes.

"You blame yourself don't you?" He said softly. I didn't say anything, and he continued.

"I know more than anyone else what the darkness can do to you. It drives you insane, takes over your mind and distorts everything you thought you ever knew. You were not yourself Rose. It's a disease." I shook my head at him and said, "I should have been able to fight it, all those people…."

He interrupted me again.

"Would you blame someone with cancer and tell them that they should be able to fight it?"

I snorted at him and said, "Of course not! But it's not the same thing at all. I hurt people Adrian."

"You were not in control of your mind! The darkness possesses you, makes you act and do things you wouldn't dare consider doing in your sane mind. I have hurt those around me before. So I do know. And I also know that with time you'll be able to accept it and move on." I squeezed him tightly, before pulling away.

"I don't know how I'll ever forgive myself." I said softly.

He smiled sadly at me. "Nobody blames you for what happened. They did at first, especially in my sort of circles. But you forget that Liss and I… we hold a certain amount of influence around here. People have forgiven you. And hopefully, with time, that'll come for you too. Be patient Little Dhampir."

Adrian had pulled me close to him again, and we stayed in an embrace for some time. I mulled over what he said. Deep down I knew it wasn't my fault. I had seen what the darkness had done to Lissa and him before, and I never once blamed them. But I just couldn't shake the images of the people I terrorised and killed.

We had stayed close to each other for some time, before Dimitri cleared his throat as a clear sign for us to spring apart.

Seeing him again reminded me of the question that was on the tip of my tongue before Adrian arrived.

I stared at all three of them, and asked "How come I can't feel the bond anymore?"

Nobody said anything.

"Ahhh…." Adrian said, shuffling from one foot to the other uncomfortably. Lissa looked just we awkward and I began to lose my patience.

"Can't someone tell me what's going on?" Lissa and Adrian exchanged glances with each other, and I turned to Dimitri again.

He scratched the back of his head, looking uncomfortable being the person to deliver this news.

"Maybe you should be sat down for this Rose." He said softly, and I did as he said, sitting tentatively on the edge of Lissa's bed preparing for the news.

"Lissa did die out there. The stake pierced her heart, and should have been irreparable. When she died, we think it must have broken the bond between the two of you."

I gasped and went lightheaded. Suddenly I understood why he had wanted me to sit down.

"What?! You mean…. That's it? No more seeing inside her head? No more being able to tell when she's in trouble?! How am I supposed to protect her?!" I yelled, launching myself off the bed and poking my finger in Dimitri's chest.

His eyes widened in alarm before he practically pushed me back onto the bed and restrained me. Any other time and this would have been my deepest fantasy being fulfilled.

He sat next to me and waited for me to calm down. Damn him. He knew his touch would quench my temper.

"You will protect her because you're a guardian. That's what we do. It doesn't matter that you're not bonded anymore. I always meant it when I said I knew you would be one of the best. That was regardless of the bond. You are one of a Kind, Roza." he said sternly.

I laid my head on his chest, completely taken aback by what he said. All this time I thought that he had looked down at me. And I realised my younger, more naïve self had misjudged him. He respected me. And his reasons for not being with me were ones out of respect for me too. He also respected me enough to never hurt me the way he did under Tasha's compulsion.

I nearly got lost in this tangent when one of my original questions came back to me.

"So wait….you're saying the bond is gone, for good, because she died?" I asked, sitting up.

Adrian chuckled lightly, "Yes, that's right. No more insights to the pale contours of Christian's body" I shuddered involuntarily at the memory. Though that was a major plus to having rid the bond, it was all I ever knew since I could remember. It felt like I had lost a limb.

"So Lissa died…." I mused, "So how did she come back to life?" I queried.

This is where they also became awkward again. So this is what they were all scared to tell me.

"Oh come on, don't make me go all Ninja on your asses! Just tell me!"

I moaned, impatience quickly rising again.

This time Lissa braved it. "Well, you know how I was able to bring you back to life, against all odds, because I can heal due to my Spirit powers?" She asked and I nodded, and my eyes widened in realisation as to where this was heading.

"You don't mean…." I asked, flabbergasted.

Lissa nodded uneasily, "Yes, I do. Adrian brought me back to life."

I stared at her blankly, before my eyes settled on Adrian into narrow slits.

He raised and eyebrow, or rather, attempted to, and said defensively, "Woah, what did I do to deserve that response? I had imagined you running up to me and collapsing at my feet, kissing my toes and vowing to serve me for the rest of my life. I brought her back!"

He was right of course, but for some reason, it felt like I had been cheated on. Like when I went on a few dates with this guy in my earlier teenage years, only to find him kissing Cyndi Dean in the cloakroom.

I sighed deeply, this was so much information to take in at once.

"I'm sorry Adrian, of course I'm grateful, but this just feels too weird to me. Kinda like you've taken my place or something."

Adrian snorted. "Believe me when I say dear Little Dhampir, I have no intentions of throwing myself in front of Lissa for the rest of my life. I saved her once. I think that ought to be enough to get me in the good books of the big guy up there." He raised his cigarette and gestured upwards, and I rolled my eyes.

I was just about to make a joke when something clicked.

"How does this work then?" I asked. "If you're both Spirit users, then who takes the darkness?"

"Now that, my dear is a good question." Adrian said light-heartedly, but his eyes told a different story. He was anxious and concerned. I suddenly had a newfound respect for him. I knew how much he suffered with his Spirit darkness, and he was willing to risk his own insanity to save Lissa. If I wasn't so over my head in love with Dimitri, then he would have defined been a good catch.

Speaking of which, the Russian spoke next, saying, "That is something they have yet to figure out. The doctors reckon it could go one of two ways. Either they will both be able to 'heal' the other from the darkness, or they will end up drawing it from each other, creating a constant imbalance of darkness and Spirit madness. At the moment, the medication they are both on has numbed the Spirit effects, so they have yet to see what happens, unless, as the doctors have suggested, they stay on their medication." My heart broke for the two of them, neither of them knew what would happen to them, or whether it wasn't worth the risk and stay on the antidepressants.

My body shivered as I thought about how much darkness it took for me to lose myself entirely, and what two loads of it could do to Lissa and Adrian.

Dimitri noticed me shiver, and took off his duster and placed it over my shoulders. I inhaled deeply and smiled up at him. Always the gentleman.

Both Lissa and Adrian looked extremely saddened. Yes, a life had been saved, but at what cost? Both of them loved the feeling of using Spirit, hell, I had experienced it though Lissa. It was incredible, so indescribably beautiful.

I had no idea what to say really. Again, I felt like this was largely down to me. Had Lissa not killed herself to save me and others, then none of this would've happened.

Thankfully, the doctors came in to do some checks on the two of them, and after saying tearful goodbyes and thank yous, Dimitri and I departed.

We walked in silence back to my room, until something came to mind.

"Wait… earlier you said that I would spend the rest of my life protecting her… surely I can't still be her guardian after everything that's happened" I asked incredulously. We were back at my room now, and once we'd sat down on my bed, Dimitri turned to me with one of those full on rare smiles that took my breath away. God help me. I'm not sure I'd be able to resist him for some time like I earlier thought.

He clasped my hand in his large one and said, "Lissa was offered a reward of her choice for her brave sacrifice. And you know what she chose?"

I shook my head in negation.

His smile grew wider, and I swear I nearly died.

"She chose you. She requested that you remain her guardian."

I didn't say anything, frozen in shock. This was beyond anything I could have asked for, or dared to believe I deserved.

Without thinking, I flung my arms around him.

He sat there, rigid for a second, before wrapping his arms around me tightly. He buried his head in the crook of my shoulder, and breathed deeply. He always said he loved the shampoo I used. Glad to see the nurses had been washing me since I'd arrived.

I relished in this feeling. I felt complete. No matter how chaotic my life was, right here, right now, I felt at peace. I knew then that I had been foolish to ever think I could be apart from him. Despite everything that had happened between us, something kept pulling us back together. I loved him so much it hurt.

I pulled back slightly, and a piece of hair fell into my face. He slowly reached up, and tucked it behind my ear. His fingers leaving a trail of tingles on my skin.

I closed the gap between us, and our lips met together. His slowly moved against mine, and I felt all feelings of reality escape me. I was in pure bliss.

He pushed me back into the small bed, and crushed my body against his as he lay on top of me. He started kissing with more fevour, which I readily accepted, and met. His tongue slowly traced my lips and I moaned lightly, and a low seductive chuckle escaped his lips.

I opened my mouth in invitation, and our tongues met in a dance for domination.

Boy, did he know how to kiss. He altered tempos and pressures, constantly leaving me begging for more.

When we finally broke apart, gasping for air, he smiled down at me.

As he leant down to kiss my neck, trailing kisses down to my collarbone, between moans I said;

"I can't wait for us to be working side by side together. I know things aren't right between us yet, and we have a lot of things to figure out, but atleast soon I can be out in the real world, and be a proper guardian."

He froze on my skin, before he burst out laughing.

The sound was glorious to my ears, and I found myself giggling from sheer euphoria myself, though I didn't get the joke.

"What's so funny?" I asked, smiling at him.

He struggled to collect himself, and leant up on his arms over me, his dark hair framing his face as it fell from its band.

"Roza…. You can't be her guardian yet." He said, still smiling.

I furrowed my brow and pouted.

"But why?! I thought you said I could be her guardian. She'll graduate soon and so will I!" I groaned.

His face took on mock seriousness. And though I was mad at him, it was hard to hate him because it made him so damn cute.

"You've been out of practice for half a year Roza. You've got some catching up to do."

My eyes nearly bulged out of my head and I gasped "You mean… you mean I have to do high school all over again?!"

I buried my head in the pillow and moaned loudly.

"Just for the next six months. But there's a plus side to this." He said, and I sprang up in bed and shouted, "How the hell can there be a plus size? I'm six months behind everyone else!"

He smiled wickedly at me, and I swear it was the sexiest look I had ever seen on any man

"I get to be your tutor again, and this time I'm going to teach you all kinds of things."

* * *

 _ **Author's note**_

 _ **So... There we have it. This story has been so emotional to write. Many times I felt like giving up, but I'm so glad I stuck with it and finished it. And I couldn't have done it without so many of you.**_

 _ **This was my first story and has taught me a lot. Not just about writing, but what kind of people are out there too. Sure, the trolls hiding behind a computer did get to me, but you know what? For everyone one of them, there has been tens of people supporting me.**_

 _ **All that's left to say really is thank you. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. It had a shaky start, and problems here and there but you stuck with it!**_

 _ **I am currently writing another story, "Riched and Rags", which I feel more confident writing, and I hope you check it out.**_

 _ **Thank you all again,**_

 _ **Love,**_

 _ **Emma xxx**_


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